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  #1  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 05:38 PM
Anonymous100300
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I suggested to my T. that I felt ready to stop therapy. He sort of became defensive and asked if there was another reason other than what I said. He talked about how he knows he sometimes had to play the bad guy...which made me think he thought I was mad at him...Then he said he hated for me to stop coming; that he had hoped I would have been coming for longer and that he would miss me.

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  #2  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 05:45 PM
cmac13 cmac13 is offline
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Originally Posted by Readytostop View Post
I suggested to my T. that I felt ready to stop therapy. He sort of became defensive and asked if there was another reason other than what I said. He talked about how he knows he sometimes had to play the bad guy...which made me think he thought I was mad at him...Then he said he hated for me to stop coming; that he had hoped I would have been coming for longer and that he would miss me.
I would say in some instances they do become attached to certain clients but they are trained to put their feelings aside in place of what is best for the client. I think the longer you see a therapist of course the stronger the bond....and yeah they probably do miss some of their clients once they leave therapy.
  #3  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 05:49 PM
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WePow WePow is offline
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I like to think my T would miss me
Thanks for this!
ladyjrnlist
  #4  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 05:52 PM
Anonymous100300
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Originally Posted by WePow View Post
I like to think my T would miss me
Yes its probably just my wishful thinking
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WePow
  #5  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 05:58 PM
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skysblue skysblue is offline
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They are human beings too. Of course there would be instances where they would like and truly miss a client when therapy ends.
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Dr.Muffin
  #6  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 06:10 PM
Anonymous100300
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Logically, I know that my T. is more important to me than I am to him...
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ladyjrnlist
  #7  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 06:18 PM
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Actually, Ts do remember clients. My T was telling me about one client he met in an elevator after many years. He said he was SO HAPPY to see her. And he was happy that she was doing so well. He said he had thought about her from time to time and hoped she was doing well.

Ts have hearts. And your T WILL miss you. In a healthy way... In a different way... but it is still real emotion.
Thanks for this!
Dr.Muffin
  #8  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 06:29 PM
Anonymous32910
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I still maintain contact with my t from way back when I was in college. We email back and forth pretty regularly (just social, friendly correspondence; we don't have a therapy relationship anymore). On occasion we talk on the phone. If I'm in town, I stop by and we have lunch. Yeah, we are attached I guess. We're life-long friends now.
Thanks for this!
Hope-Full, skysblue, WePow
  #9  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 06:35 PM
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That's real nice. I don't think that would be appropriate in our situation since my t. is a man. It would be nice to think that I could contact him in the future.
  #10  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 07:06 PM
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I would think that my T would miss me too. During our session today, I asked her if she was tired of hearing me talk about what happened with Ex-T, and she said no, that she enjoys every conversation we have and that I make her "think"... I guess that's a good sign?
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  #11  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 07:30 PM
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Brightheart Brightheart is offline
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When my former T first mentioned that therapy was winding down for me, I started to cry and then told him that I'd miss him. Without hesitation, he replied that he'd miss me too.

I think it's a little more complicated than therapists putting their feelings aside. A T wouldn't want to deny their feelings, I wouldn't think, but they would want to be very aware of them. Self-awareness is very important and can help the T keep therapy about the client. They may even learn more about ways to help a client by recognizing what feelings a client elicits. Part of what makes the relationship so healing is that it is genuine and real.
Thanks for this!
Dr.Muffin
  #12  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 08:10 PM
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i totally get attached to my clients....not all of them, though.
Thanks for this!
Hope-Full, PTSDlovemycats, rainbow_rose, skysblue, WePow, with or without you
  #13  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 08:15 PM
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PreacherHeckler PreacherHeckler is offline
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Sometimes I wonder if female T's, on average, get more attached than male T's. More oxytocin.
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Conversation with my therapist:

Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."

It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
  #14  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 08:23 PM
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Night*Blossum Night*Blossum is offline
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I've grown really attached to my T. Her name is Mary C. and she is the sweetest woman ^_^ She usually even brings her dog in her therapy sessions. :] Hmm, I wish I had a picture of Frieda (her dog). If I were to have to switch therapists however, I think I would have a bit of separation anxiety (or a LOT maybe) Besides Mary likes me a lot. She says I'm more open then most of her clients. She also says I'm more considerate then most teens my age. :] There's something about her that makes me feel secure, safe and even special ^_^ I don't I'll ever find another T like her :]
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  #15  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 08:27 PM
Anonymous32925
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Yes - we get attached to our clients. But it is (or should be) a healthy attachment. Where it's always about what is best for you regardless of how we feel.
Thanks for this!
Indie'sOK, PTSDlovemycats, rainbow8, rainbow_rose, skysblue, WePow, with or without you
  #16  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 09:09 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Yes, some therapists get attached to their clients. If it becomes an issue or becomes too intense for the therapist to manage, it is sometimes called "counter transference". If a therapist gets too attached to a client, they've got some of their own issues to work out likely so it's normally suggested that T's have T's.

Some attachment is normal, but a T doesn't necessarily have to like you to be able to work with you. It just makes it easier if they do like their client(s).
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Do therapists get attached to clients?
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  #17  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 09:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina86 View Post
Yes, some therapists get attached to their clients. If it becomes an issue or becomes too intense for the therapist to manage, it is sometimes called "counter transference". If a therapist gets too attached to a client, they've got some of their own issues to work out likely so it's normally suggested that T's have T's.

Some attachment is normal, but a T doesn't necessarily have to like you to be able to work with you. It just makes it easier if they do like their client(s).
My previous t had severe counter transferance. My current pdoc doesn't
Thanks for this!
Christina86
  #18  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 09:26 PM
Anonymous100300
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My previous t had severe counter transferance. My current pdoc doesn't
How would a client know if a T. had counter transference?
  #19  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 09:34 PM
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In my case there is no hiding it from me.
  #20  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 09:36 PM
Anonymous100300
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Originally Posted by Flooded View Post
In my case there is no hiding it from me.
Didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't know ....just I don't know what counter transference is or how to recognize it>
  #21  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 10:10 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Originally Posted by Readytostop View Post
How would a client know if a T. had counter transference?
Maybe this will help?

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...nt-a-good-fit/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...rence-overview

To be fair, a client won't necessarily recognize that a T is working on their own issues or being triggered (leading to countertransference). It's the job of the T to be able to recognize their own transference issues.
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Do therapists get attached to clients?
  #22  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 10:12 PM
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I knew what you mean

It would be different for everyone I imagine. I've never been able to compare stories with anyone else.
  #23  
Old Jun 27, 2011, 10:50 PM
swimmergirl swimmergirl is offline
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I think the way to know the answer to this question is..............(please don't throw tomatoes at me ) to talk with your T about this. I had my last session with T almost 3 weeks ago. In that session I asked if he would forget me and he said no, I will not forget you with the most sincere, genuine expression in his eyes. That was a very very healing moment for me(as I was not ready to end therapy with him, long story). I knew I was important to him..........that I had gotten into his heart in some way as he had in mine. So if you can be honest...........I would ask them, especially if you are feeling very attached and you have a good rapport and bond.
Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37, WePow
  #24  
Old Jun 28, 2011, 12:35 AM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Originally Posted by Dr.Muffin View Post
i totally get attached to my clients....not all of them, though.
I work with children, and there definitely are children that I get more attached to than others for various reasons. Is this similar to how it is for therapist's? Its easy stuff for kids, though. Like I instantly love the smaller/petite kids because I'm small...or the cuddlers, because I love kid cuddling! The business I work with is for more well-off individuals, so we don't see many behavioral issues. That would make it harder I think to empathize.
  #25  
Old Jun 28, 2011, 12:41 AM
Anonymous32925
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Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
I work with children, and there definitely are children that I get more attached to than others for various reasons. Is this similar to how it is for therapist's? Its easy stuff for kids, though. Like I instantly love the smaller/petite kids because I'm small...or the cuddlers, because I love kid cuddling! The business I work with is for more well-off individuals, so we don't see many behavioral issues. That would make it harder I think to empathize.
I work mostly with children as a T. While I can't speak for Muffin... I can say that definitely there is an immediate attachment to *some* kids. While others send me screaming to the hills (not often, tho)
Thanks for this!
WePow
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