Kicked off DBT course and struggling

Its been awhile I have posted but this situation is stressing me out no end.
Basically I have been waiting a year and a half to start DBT, I finally got on and did four sessions and on the 3rd I told my T I smoke pot, I need to smoke pot and feel very strange being told I should go to a anti drugs/alcohol clinic, which is what she said to me on the next session where she said I would be removed from DBT. I have never been told in my life I should visit one of these places. I don't actually want to give up more like im being forced to. The point is I desperatly need DBT, I feel traumatized starting the DBT course and started doing some home work, diarycards, opening up to a new therapist. Its made me very suicidal being thown off after the hardgraft I put in the few sessions I had with her, its like being thrown back on the wasteland. I don't feel normal and am finding myself once again looking up suicide articles on the net. Im so scared of going back into therapy after all that happened, I wasn't even sure of my therapist, I felt she was abrupt and quite heavy with me but I suppose DBT therapists have to be direct, I don't know, she just frightened me but thats partly because I am overly sensitive. She was unprepared to negotiate with me even when I said I would quit smoking that very day. I just can't believe it, writing this now is starting to make my eyes well up.
I suffer mostly with PTSD and emotional regulation problems.

I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time with DBT. I know for me it was especially difficult for the first 3 months. I may be wrong but, I would think that smoking pot would be added to your diary card as a target behavior and would be something to be worked on in DBT. I mean, people do come into the program with many unhealthy coping behaviors and the point of DBT is to learn to replace those behaviors with healthy coping skills. Can you talk to your t about this and ask her?

Thankyou Tayquincy, you brought up a good point about many people using unhealthy behaviours when they first come in to DBT. The problem is the T said that its their policy not to accept anybody on the DBT programme who has a drug or alcohol addiction which annoys me, firstly for the point you made but they said to me that DBT is non-judgemental and accepting which they have sort of contradicted themselves and also they have painted all drug addicts with the same brush, whether you are a light pot-smoker or have no physical ailments from withdrawal or are full on druggie, that says to me that are being judgemental. She also mentioned why they will not accept people who take any kind of drug and that is because the drop-out rate is high for drug-takers(heavy or not) because they usually find the DBT work too hard for them to cope with even though I proved the therapist wrong because I was showing myself to be very committed by working the best I can despite my emotional problems. So now I have been given the option of going back on the waiting list which I don't know how much longer I will have to wait and I will also have to give up dope which will be horrible because whilst I am dope free I will have to struggle for however long it takes with my issues which normally becomes unbearable. The other option is going back to my old T who I made quite slow progress with. I am already going through a daily thing of feeling sick with anxiety, being thrown off DBT has made me feel completely hopeless about my life and myself. Im on the throes of giving up with it all.

Some practitioners of DBT are probably more rigid than others. It sounds to me (without being close to really observe your situation for myself) like an unproductive thing -- not your fault. Not an inevitable accompaniment of DBT, just a bee that some practitioners get into their bonnets.

Well maybe it's different if you have an addiction because then it would take more than learning new DBT skills to overcome. I don't know if your t thinks you have an addiction to pot, but if so, maybe that is why she wants you to go to treatment for that first. It makes sense that someone who is an alcoholic would not really benefit from DBT until that was addressed because an alcoholic can't just stop drinking. Same with drug addiction. I just think that some people use pot but are not addicted, just trying to cope in an unhealthy way, similar to self injury.

If you really need DBT, then it makes sense to give up the pot so you can be in it.

I would do what you have to do to stay in the program and try not to see it as personal, or a rejection.

If you are not primarily in therapy to quit smoking pot, then it might not be necessary to even create that conflict by revealing that you're still smoking. Let me ask though, honestly, do you think it is too much of an unhealthy coping mechanism?

Is there a way you could bargain down from going to rehab (for smoking pot??????) to attending some kind of abstinence type meeting?

I'm sorry they are referring you to other treatment. There are some treatments that deal with trauma and addictions together, like Seeking Safety. It may be they think you need something like that before you get the DBT. Treating addictions takes a certain skill set that they might not think they have. I hope it works out for you.

Give it a try. You may learn some things in addiction treatment as well.

I'm so sorry you've been excluded from your DBT group. It's kind of weird that a treatment that was specifically designed to assist people with BPD develop coping/self soothing skills would exclude someone with a dysfunctional coping mechanism (smoking pot). I say this because the use/abuse of drugs/alchohol is very commom in people with BPD. I don't know if that's your diagnosis or not and it doesn't really matter. It's very "old school" for your treatment providers to fall back on the old protocol of either treating the addiction first and then treating the mental health issues. All the latest treatment programs have recognized that both should be treated at the same time, it's why many community mental health clinics are now co-mingling their staff with the community addiction services. It has to be a collaborative process, not "you treat her addiction and we'll treat her depression." I hope you're able to find a treatment program that address the pot issues as well as the PTSD and emotional dysregulation!

Thanks Jaybird, yes, I mean this is 2011 and I kind of thought that this system that they go by is just not practical, they just seem to be thinking in Tunnel Vision and of course people that DBT have a variety of problems. The idea of incorporating new coping techniques into your life would also decrease pot use(automatic replacement) at that time, as someone's life is being filled up with meaningful activities. At the clinic where I am, I am totally unsure if they practice collaboration of dealing with emotional/mental health issues and substance problems, I hope they do something along those lines, I know my body well enough to know that if something like this was available, my pot smoking would immediatly cut down, I have done it before, when I have managed to get some emotional control and independence coupled with support and backup from a therapist, I have found it a much easier thing to do, to get the ball rolling in my life. One reason I smoke is because I struggle to live my life, so the cannabis fills a void that I am hopeless with, it feels the empty hole. I just have to have a big think about what to do now with regards to therapy.