[kimmydawn]

He just is...that's all.

He HAS to be the most patient man in the world. He's so incredibly understanding and kind, non-intrusive and non-threatening.

He cares and shows it. He sometimes hurts for me and doesn't care to show it. He knows when to push and when to back off. He's never tried to MAKE me realize things about myself, but has gently guided me into self-awareness.

I'm so thankful everyday that he was there at just the right time and never gave up on me.

Tell me about your wonderful t's?

KD

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

((Kimmy )) we may have the same T....well OK my T has miffed me and lost his temper a time or two Otherwise he is much like yours....very sweet and gentle

[wanttoheal]

hehe kd, you knew this was coming, right? My T... what can I say. She is amazing and has taken me into her heart for some reason. While I don't understand the reasons why she has, I am getting the benefits from it regardless. I just don't even know how to express what she has done and is doing for my healing process. I love your T too! But if I had to choose... I'd have to go with mine.

[bipolar_bear]

My t is awesome. She has been so patient letting me find my own way. It is a place where I feel safe. I have come to trust her with the most private of feelings and she has never betrayed that trust. Her kindness has helped me through some very trying times. I think she is the most wonderful t there is.

[Overcastbutclearing]

KD, Glad that you have found exactly what I have w/ my T.
My T is just...well...hard to find words to describe how amazing she is, how caring she is..how she is genuinely concerned about me when things are bad, and ready to celebrate with me when things are good.
She knows when she needs to toughen up with me...and when to be gentle.
I rarely cry...especially in front of her. But last night, I was sobbing. She was sobbing too...saying she knows how much I hurt.

So, thankful to all of our wonderful T and the love and support they give us to walk another day on this earth!

[JustBen]

My last therapist was definitely the right guy for the job, but maybe for different reasons than you've identified, KD. My guy knew I wanted to be pushed, and he pushed. He didn't let me get away with intellectualizing or being lazy. He seemed to know exactly what I was going through and knew the right combination of empathy and encouragement to "keep me moving."

I have a few wolrds best T's. my favorites of the worlds best would be one with a rape crisis center and the one right before the one I have now. out of my history of 19 therapists these two I was with the longest. The first one had it the roughest. I was just begining the therapy process and hadn't been diagnosed as DID just yet so the poor woman not only had to kick my you know what in gear many times because I was in the frame of mind of heres the problem now fix me (not help me fix me, I wanted to be fixed but not have anything to do with the work to get there) but she had to deal with the effects of DID without knowing that I had it. and then be the first therapist on board when I started having flashbacks but didn't have the words or understanding of what was happening to me to tell her. No matter what got thrown her way (not literally as in objects that came later with my second choice) she would pull her shoulders back and meet the challenges 100%. I remember one time one of my abusers was following me in his vehicle (I was walking) She saw I was upset and pulled over, opened the passenger side door for me to get in. once inside she asked what was wrong and I told her. Dispite the fact that she was supposed to be getting the mail and then right back to the office she turned that car around and together we went looking for my abuser because he had taken off and we were going to get his license number and report him for drunk driving so that he would be kept away from me for a bit. And that wasn't the only time she went above and beyond the call of duty for me. My second choice was the therapist that helped me with most of my DID work. She gets a table thrown at her literally and comes back ready to get to work again. so amazing. when that happened I wanted to quit, but she wouldn't let me. I came up with so many off the wall ideas and instead of blowing them off she joined right in. No matter what was going on for me She was right there ready with open arms. Without her I wouldn't have made any headway for I'd still be sitting in fear of the foot long label and hospitals to do anything. When I was diagnosed with cancer she was right there in that hospital waiting room both going into my endoscopies and colonoscopy and coming out from them. She is an amazing person.

[jbug]

Wow you guys have the best therapists. I think mine is good too. He doesn't let me get away with self hatred thoughts. I know that when it comes down to it he's in my corner and he's able to get me to laugh at myself. There have been times I wanted to quit therapy but he wouldn't let me. He tells me I still need him and I know I do but sometimes it's so hard to change all those bad behaviors that I just want to throw in the towel and he tells me his track record is good and he's not going to let me ruin it. (he's joking when he says this). We get along really good and I know he's a cheerleader in my life.

Jbug

[Maya]

Ah, where would I be without mine? He is the most understanding and compassionate man I have ever met. He knows how to gently nudge me in the right direction while never giving up on me, no matter how much I continue on with old patterns and behaviors. He has given me his home phone, cell phone, email address, etc in addition to his work phone so in the event I am in an emergency situation I can reach him anywhere, anytime..He know I would never violate that trust - and I haven't. He is concerned abou all of me - not just my mental health - he knows that my physical condition affects my mental condition and makes certain I take care of myself - even to the point of encouraging me to change doctors when I felt I was just a "kidney" to the nephrologist I was seeing. He is the greatest anywhere (and, yes, I know, we all feel that way...). I would no longer be alive if he had not come into my life when he did.

[kimmydawn]

It is SO wonderful to see so many people who have such great client/t relationships. They are such important relationships in one's life!

It's great to know that I have a t who not only is a great t, but is secure enough with self to care.

Morning (((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))) hoe you're having a good morning. Im dong better, calmer and so on...

Yea Client/ therapist relationships are important. Though my present therapist isnt one of those listed in my previous posting here, she is a great person. If she wasn't the type of person she is I probably wouldn't have chosen to remain in therapy once I was no longer considered court mandated into therapy. I am always happy to see her and don't dread attending sessions with her. She's very open to trying new things. she hates and is very embarrassed when making mistakes where her clients are concerned but she owns up to those mistakes and always takes steps to work on herself so that she is the best for her clients and does the best by her clents. Though I don't depend on her, I try things for myself first there isn't very much that she doesn't know about in the way of what has been going on since recieving her for a therapist. I even share with her that I am on NAMI, here at psychcentral and another website. when I do pick and choose what to tell her (or not) when its always based on my personal decision not to depend solely on the therapist not based on her or her reactions and so on. Im not afraid of what she thinks and wants me to do and so on. I kind of actually look forwards to our sessions now that there isn't the stress of HAVING to go because someone else says I have to, She's kind of like me - she looks for the positive not just the down side. she really does care about her clients. for example something I had told her or showed her, I forget exactly now it was awhile back and other situations like this has happened so its basically mishmashed together, but anyway something about me had her thoughts hooked and she ended up thinking about me all morning before my session with her. She knows how to separate her time vs client time but what that was about me that she was experiencing she chose to stay in the moment of it because she was enjoying being able to connect with me at that level of totally understanding the situation and what I had done about it.. She always worrys about the clients that miss the depression class she runs. not a session went by that she didn't take extra time with the person that didn't make it the week before or noticing and asking about those that didn't make it in that day. She is a very caring person.

[Quay]

Nice thread KD

Yeah, I really like my t also, for the same reasons. He's really gentle and compassionate. He knows when to push and when to hold off & give me support instead. I appreciate that he's really careful not to get in my personal space. I like that even when he pushes, or calls me out for dodging a question, he does it with a smile and a chuckle, like "come on, you know I can't let you get away with that." It keeps things do-able.

I get caught up sometimes wondering how it is he could seem to like me, or why he doesn't mind that I keep showing up week after week. He just keeps assuring me that it's just all part of the process, and that I'm doing well, and right where I should be. I wish I could have more contact with him, that his borders weren't quite so well defined, but I can also see he needs to have a life of his own, without all of his pts breathing down his neck. I feel really lucky that I ended up with him as my t.

Quay

[LMo]

Wait - are we seeing the same T? Because MINE is the best!

I would give a limb to be neighbors instead of patient-client. I think she is the absolute coolest.

Giving this some thought, what I like best about her is that she has repeatedly shown my husband compassion about things that I mistakenly have been aggravated about. For example, I complained about his "avoidance" tendencies... but she relabelled them as "self-protective" actions. He is so much more likely to work on moving forward when not criticized, and I am so much more likely to calm down if I can remember to be compassionate. She helps both of us be better people. She is worth every dime.

[kimmydawn]

Thank everyone who has responded to this! I might just to admit that my t shares the title of world's best t? I don't like to share, but I will

It's so cool to hear of the great relationships out there. Just like it's great to know that we're not alone in pain, grief, etc., it's great to know that we can share the cool things too!

I've seen t again since I've written this and he's still just the best. He's walked down SO many roads with me...holding my hand and letting me know that I don't have to walk it alone. That was so alien to me that I couldn't imagine it for a long time...someone walking the LONG mile of abuse with me??? Someone holding my hand while I recognize more abuse that I didn't see??? For years, I spent almost the entire time giving some and expecting him to disappear (I just knew that would happen). Not only did he not disappear, but when it got REALLY rough he held on tighter! DANG! I had to learn to accept that. I think that was the biggest thing. His patience, understanding and consistency is awe inspiring...truly.

I'm so blessed. It's so great to see that many of us are!

KD