[suzzie]

do they ever really believe you. that your words are true.

my t wrote this in a recent email. I'm guessing that you're not making up a thing......... why is she only guessing. that means she has some doubt. i feel like my words have no value with her. they dont in general anyway. but i thought with her it would be different. why didnt she say i know that..............maybe no one ever believes anyone a 100%.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Mine has always said that she can tell when someone is lying or hiding something.

[sittingatwatersedge]

I once told her about something that had just happened to me and at the end I said, of course, you have only my word for how it came about and she floored me by saying, it doesn't matter.
Apparently what mattered was my experience of what happened, my perception of what happened.

that said, I try hard to say the truth. As I know it, eh?

this is the strangest relationship I have ever known.

What matters is your perception of whatever experience. It's not our job to be detectives and determine whether you are telling the truth, or not. Though sometimes I will challenge clients if they aren't being truthful to themselves about something. Like, when they're numbing down feelings or blowing things off that do matter.

[skysblue]

But, in a way it makes sense that it doesn't matter how much the T believes or not. Their job is to get us to know ourselves better. Slowly but surely by gentle inquiry, we will gain self-knowledge. They probably think that if a person is being untruthful, they're only slowing down their own progress in therapy.

[ECHOES]

The only person who knows if they are speaking the truth is the speaker.
I would be curious why she said this, and I wonder if it is in response to something that was in your email - not what you were telling her but maybe a remark about what you were telling her?

[Omers]

My T says she can't mind read but dang I am SURE she has an internal lie detector!

But... My experience is that most people don't pay that much attention to their choice of words. It sounds to me like T just wasn't thinking about how they were saying things.

[my3sns]

Im thinking my T can read minds lol... although i dont think i have ever lied to her outright , im sure she would know if i did... and she doesnt hesitate to call me on the bs that stormy was talking about

[suzzie]

thank you

[WikidPissah]

I don't get it, who would lie about this crap??? I read something about people making **** up for T and I was thinking HUH ? I wanna make up that I had a perfect life, can I do that?

[lacey12345]

see, i don't lie, but i don't share things/bring up topics sometimes that maybe i should.

for example, there are issues x and y that i have never brought up with my T. ever in our 2+ years together. i know these are big psych issues that i need to work on, but (1) i'm ashamed, (2) i don't want to talk about it with T and (3) i kinda feel like i can solve it on my own. that last reason is particularly foolish, as i have yet to solve these problems. and sometimes i convince myself that these are not actually problems.

also, my T has a good opinion of me--he likes me as a person and admires my career choices--and i don't want him... to think less of me.

maybe i don't want to see the disappointment i feel for myself and my actions... i don't want to see that disappointment or concern or worry expressed on his face.

maybe i am wasting money, not doing all i can, etc. but sometimes it's enough that i am going consistently to talk with someone about my experiences in this crazy world. maybe?

[lacey12345]

SAWE, i've had similar conversations with my T. ah, what nice words to hear!

and to feel like you have someone in your corner!

I don't know. I recently read somewhere (I'm trying to find it) that therapists only believe a certain percent of what their clients tell them. I'm not sure how "they" came up with this statistic and I'm not sure I believe it, but it kind of troubled me.

Looking at it this way is helpful to me....

I may tell my t. that my H. hates me. Now my t. may or may not believe that my H. hates me. But I know he believes that I think/feel that my H. hates me. And that is what is important to me....

[skysblue]

When I started therapy I told my T that it would be impossible for me to tell the truth. What is truth anyway? I would bring my own biases. I would remember things incorrectly or filtered through my issues. I would forget some key parts of any incident. I would exaggerate or I would minimize. There is no way I would really be able to tell her the truth.

But, I see now that that is not so important. My issues are being worked out in the here and now with T. She can see what's going on and I don't have to rely on my memories or my distorted interpretations of events.

And about RL, it's our feelings that matter. If we lie about our feelings to T, then we only delay our progress in therapy. But sometimes we can't help but 'lie' because we've lied to ourselves so long we don't even recognize it as a lie.

Yep, it's a slow process.