Why do we care about our Ts so much?

I think part of caring so much about them has to do with so much hope that we carry inside ourselves and that is directed towards them. We have the hope to be loved, the hope to get the nurturance we never got enough of, the hope for a corrective emotional experience. I think that makes us invest a lot of our caring feelings towards them. They seem as if they have the ability to give us what we crave .

I so get this.

Yeah, I don't know about that. What does your T say?

I'm beginning a book that may change my life. It combines Buddhist philosophy with neuroscience. We humans have evolved just like other animals to seek pleasure and to avoid pain: this serves the purpose of survival of the species.

This system has served a purpose because what is pleasant usually would be things that improve survival and what is unpleasant is a threat to survival. But this system can also simulate experiences and has us chasing pleasures that aren't that great and resisting pains that are exaggerated or not even real.

So, the premise of the authors is that the rewards and punishments that our brain conceives are usually not as imagined. We can see that in our own lives - we crave some ice cream but when we finally taste it, it just doesn't bring the intensity of pleasure as we expected. Or we dread something but when it finally occurs, we don't suffer as much as we imagined. The authors call this imagining - simulations. And simulations make us suffer. What we feel when we finally get the reward or punishment never lives up to our imagination.

This is something you might think of as you 'simulate' your T saying the words that you hope for. How would it feel at the time? And, more importantly, would it definitively satisfy you? Would a new craving replace that craving?

This book, "The Practical Neuroscience of Buddha's Brain: Happiness, Love & Wisdom" Hanson & Mendius has lots of steps and techniques on how to manage our suffering. I highly recommend it. I am just beginning its study and hope that I can apply the lessons and make them work for me.

Maybe it is a different kind of love like agape love, parental love, marital love. Just sayin...

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skyblue - i'm listening to a CD by Rick Hanson - Meditations for Happiness. He's the author of the Budda's Brain book you're reading! I like how he applies scientific information and makes it practical.