[granite1]

i was not able to talk again so next week and so on at the beginning of session she is going to give me a pen and paper and i need to write down the firt thing that comes into my head and then we can talk about the reasons i cant talk about it.not about the thought at all unless i want to.I'm not sure but this may help me some.

I think this is a great idea! Writing has allowed me to tell T so many things I wasn't ready to speak yet.

There have been times we've written an entire session, back and forth, and times when I've written and he's talked.

Now, I will usually start writing and then once the story starts being told in writing, I can open my mouth and say it. Or I will tell the story but write the hard parts.

And I like that you are going to talk about why it's scary to talk. I've had to do A LOT of that in therapy, and it helps.

[googley]

Hi Granite,
I've spent time in session talking with my T about why things are hard to talk about. About my fears about talking and why it is hard. I think it usually helps. I can address the fears without being too overwhelmed by talking about the actual thing. It then becomes easier to talk about in the future. Since writing in email has been easier for you, hopefully writing in session will be a good way to communicate for you.

[rainbow8]

I think it is wonderful that your T will finally allow you to communicate with her in the way that's easiest for you. You will still have to talk, but it will lessen the pressure, especially at the beginning of the session.

[deliquesce]

that sounds like a positive development! what do you think about it, granite?

[rainbow_rose]

I think it's an awesome idea, granite! I've done this, when I have shut down in session, the only way I could communicate was in writing.

[Paraclete]

I often have trouble talking in session. For me it's not a problem, sometimes there just are no words to describe the myriad of emotions inside, I've tried to explain it to T this way; When you walk into a room full of people - a restaurant or a bar or something, and they are all talking over each other at volume, you can hear voices and noise but try to make out any one conversation and follow it, you simply cannot. In the same way, sometimes there are so many feelings going on inside that it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is in there at any given time. Often its many, but as to why you're feeling them, who knows! Its just a jumbled mess, and I find in these moments, I just sit and 'feel', because there are no direct words to describe the jumbled up ball of feeling mess inside. I've tried to explain to my T that my silence isn't a bad thing, sometimes I just like to sit in silence and safely give myself space to just 'feel'. But it frustrates the heck out of him, and he doesn't like it. He taps his feet and eventually, he feels the need to fill the silence with his own words.
I like the idea or writing at the beginning of session - even drawing a picture if there are no words to write

[WikidPissah]

sounds like a good idea granite...I hope it helps! Are you nervous about it?

[porcupine2]

Originally Posted by Paraclete

I often have trouble talking in session. For me it's not a problem, sometimes there just are no words to describe the myriad of emotions inside, I've tried to explain it to T this way; When you walk into a room full of people - a restaurant or a bar or something, and they are all talking over each other at volume, you can hear voices and noise but try to make out any one conversation and follow it, you simply cannot. In the same way, sometimes there are so many feelings going on inside that it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is in there at any given time. Often its many, but as to why you're feeling them, who knows! Its just a jumbled mess, and I find in these moments, I just sit and 'feel', because there are no direct words to describe the jumbled up ball of feeling mess inside. I've tried to explain to my T that my silence isn't a bad thing, sometimes I just like to sit in silence and safely give myself space to just 'feel'. But it frustrates the heck out of him, and he doesn't like it. He taps his feet and eventually, he feels the need to fill the silence with his own words.
I like the idea or writing at the beginning of session - even drawing a picture if there are no words to write

When I first started with my T I could not write - words were meaningless to me. So I started drawing instead. After I while I could only write my feelings in poems that rhymed. It took months before I actually was able to share my feelings and now you cant' shut me up! Hang in there - you're doing the best you can and T should understand that.

[ErinBear]

Hi Granite,

Everyone is different. I had a lot of trouble talking with my counselor also. My counselor was extremely kind, patient, and supportive. For much of the first year, we did a lot of writing. I brought in things I had written, and I also wrote things during the session when I was having trouble speaking. As I say, everyone is different, but for me, this really helped. I realized if he was so patient with me that he was willing to work this way, he really cared a tremendous deal. Not everyone would do that! It was part of what helped me to be able to be brave enough to start talking. Now we can do our sessions aloud. Every now and then I'll have one or two words I need to write down, or I get stuck for a moment or two, but he is very patient and we work through it. I hope one day things will get better for you, Granite, and I have a feeling that things will get better over time as you and your T keep working. I send lots of good thoughts your way.

Take care,
ErinBear

[granite1]

thanks i want to respond to all of you but need to run to work i promice i will respond when i get home