[elliemay]

So he's gone two weeks. It always seems like a lot happens when he is away. I've developed some pretty good coping skills, so it's not like I'm freaking out or anything.

I just miss him. That's all. I just miss him. It's kind of like an ache, but perfused with warmth.

This has got to be the *weirdest* relationship I have *ever* had in my whole life.

Originally Posted by elliemay

I just miss him. That's all. I just miss him. It's kind of like an ache, but perfused with warmth.

This has got to be the *weirdest* relationship I have *ever* had in my whole life.

Yes and yes.

I see T on Wednesday and it will have been two weeks since my last appointment (he's been on vacation too). It feels good to be able to have the coping skills to not completely unravel while he's gone (THAT took me a few years) but I really do miss him. And things HAVE come up that I've had to deal with on my own, and it's hard.

I miss him.

[rainbow8]

I totally feel the same way as you two.

I've been able to go with my life and keep busy, make connections, even feel calm and peaceful, but still.....

I miss my T very much and it hurts like a dull ache.

[crazycanbegood]

I feel ya elliemay. I want my T to go on vacation and refresh. I do. But it is so freaking inconvenient to me and my suffering. And yes, the isht always waits to hit the fan when T is gone.

It is an ache. A longing, almost for me.
Missing someone means we care and have that intimate connection. The ache is a good thing and reminds us how much that relationship means to us.
I hope your 2 weeks are filled with kind things to do for you, so that you brag to T about it when they get back.

[Wren_]

.... I'm curious about the coping skills you have? what do you do that helps while T is away? ... I understand the ache

[MASIMO]

I told T before he left, as I started to tear up that I dont
do well when he is gone. He had surprised with the new of
his vacation. I emailed him last week when I thought he hadn't
left town yet apologizing if he was actually on vacation at that
point. I got an email from him yesterday from the West coast.
In fact two emails. So he contacts me even when he is away.
However, as said in this thread, the sh.t always seems to hit the
fan while he is away. Why is this? Am I doing this on purpose
to make him feel guilty? I can say all of it is completely of my making,
like if my husband acts out towards me and I react self
destructively. Or maybe it just seems harder to deal with everyday
things when he is away.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by MASIMO

I told T before he left, as I started to tear up that I dont
do well when he is gone. He had surprised with the new of
his vacation. I emailed him last week when I thought he hadn't
left town yet apologizing if he was actually on vacation at that
point. I got an email from him yesterday from the West coast.
In fact two emails. So he contacts me even when he is away.
However, as said in this thread, the sh.t always seems to hit the
fan while he is away. Why is this? Am I doing this on purpose
to make him feel guilty? I can say all of it is completely of my making,
like if my husband acts out towards me and I react self
destructively. Or maybe it just seems harder to deal with everyday
things when he is away.

I really do think it is Murphy's law in action. Plus it may be that we still feel a little unsteady so ordinary things get magnified. I don't know.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

.... I'm curious about the coping skills you have? what do you do that helps while T is away? ... I understand the ache

Okay, first off have you seen the video associated with your signature tiger? It's hilarious!

Anyhoodle. Coping skills.

Well, I'm a big lister, lists everywhere. So I keep a list of the good things that happened during his absence.

I also keep a list of the things that come up that I want to talk about so they don't get buried or lost.

I always always always dream more during his absence (don't ask me why) so, you guessed it, I keep a list of dreams.

Most importantly though I work to keep that connection with me, even when he is gone. It can be so darn ephemeral, but it does get easier to catch onto.

[WikidPissah]

My T has been away as well, 2 weeks since last appt. And yea, hsit hit the fan while he was away. I emailed once (he said I could email or text while he was gone). I was embarrassed though because everyone deserves a little r & r and it felt selfish of me to email while he was on break.

[Wren_]

*blinks* that kenya clip is wild, I hadn't seen it before thanks for posting it!

Those are really great coping skills you have; are those lists part of how you keep that connection going or are there other things you do to maintain that? (I so need to keep lists like that)