[geez]

Today was one out of the four last appointments.

After we talked about a few annoying topics (I really wanted to talk about transference but I needed to get the 'other stuff' off my plate first) my T asked me about what I think about coming to an end with therapy (teary eyed).

I told her I hate ending therapy.
I was laying on the couch and gripped the pillow tightly before saying: I know I'm not supposed to say this but I do love you.
She smiled and said thank you. I told her that I wish I could come see her every week for an hour, forever. She said that I don't need to keep going to see her unless something comes up down the road. I'm fine and I don't need therapy ( I told her I do know that ). I also told her that I feel such comfort when I'm there or perhaps it was just the really comfortable couch she has?
She said that I've gotten what I've been missing all along from my past so I have been able to now move forward.

In the end she told me that I have come a long way in three years.. She told me that I seemed lost three years ago and now I'm not letting my past take over my present. She is amazed at how I've transformed (not just emotionally/psychologically but physically - I lost 70+lbs and I'm now training for my first 1/2 marathon). She has seen me blossom into someone new that I've created and said it's been amazing to watch.

---------------------------------------------------------

I now have three sessions to go to wrap up any extra lose ends and go over a few things we have talked about.

I plan on writing something and reading it to her before the last session (maybe next session?). I want to tell her how thankful I am for all that she has done for me and how important she has been to my life.

Thanks for listening!

[skysblue]

You said you hate ending therapy but you also seem o.k. about it. How are you feeling? And you have to end it?

[skeksi]

This sounds like a beautiful way to bring a relationship to a stopping point--with care and hope and happiness. I'm so glad that your therapy has changed you in such wonderful ways!

[geez]

Originally Posted by skysblue

You said you hate ending therapy but you also seem o.k. about it. How are you feeling? And you have to end it?

The little girl inside of me hates ending therapy. I've had this person/place of comfort for three + years and I seriously don't know where I would be without the help she has given me. The last three years were very hard on me and I had no coping skills in the beginning and with every emotion of sadness I felt like I was going to die. Now I feel like I've recieved the nurturing and support I've always wanted and I'm in a 'good place' within myself. I truly do love my T however it's the goodbye that sucks! It's time to 'leave the nest' and spread my wings. Just hope I don't crash and burn .

PS - my insurance is ending at the end of the month and I planned on ending therapy in May but continued. I can come back to see T if I wish but I really don't need to at this point. T will do a reduced rate for me but I don't feel like I really need to continue. There's nothing more T can do for me. I just have to use what I've learned and keep going on this path that I'm on.

this all sounds so bittersweet.... sad, but i like what your t said, about you blossoming. that must feel great.

sending safe hugs