T's talking bad about themself

i ended up being really scared and shut down in my session today but i did managet to say a few things.when i am like this a lot of times i'm not even thare emotionally.at one point she said something that must have got me angry or struck a nerve because i totally shut down.i had started to repond and bam shut down and said nothing but was angry.my T noticed this and asked what i was going to say .i couldnt repond.in fact at this point even though it was only less than a minute after what she said for the life of me i couldnt remember what she said or what i was going to sayshe than said something like"come on granite what were you going to say??i know i am a total blabber mouth and if i had just stoped talking you would have said what you were going to say"

i know it doesnt seem such a big deal what she said but it made me feel bad for her.i felt she was putting herself down and being really hard on herself when it wasnt her fault that i couldnt remember what she said.i know it was just my gut reaction to open my mouth to say what was going on on my head but it really passed in seconds i was never going to respond.i felt so bad i pleaded with her that i just forgot what i was going to say.

do any of your T tend to put themselves down some ?
does it bother you whaen they do??

I don't think she was putting herself down. I think she was just admitting to one of her quirks and letting you know that she is aware that she may have inadverdently cut you off.

I agree, it sounds like she was 1. trying to make you comfortable by cracking a joke; and 2. admitting that sometimes she might talk a little too much!

My T has said things like that, too--and often, it was true, he was talking and so I didn't. It was a lost moment for us. It wasn't the end of the world, just a missed connection. When we shut down, we are disconnected. I think your T, in saying that, was trying to reconnect to you.

Hi Granite,
I agree with FarmerGirl and Skeski. I've had those moments too where my T is talking and waiting til she finishes what she was saying makes me loose what I was thinking about. I don't think your T was being critical of herself. I think she was admitting that sometimes she talks when you have something to say. Ts want to catch that point when you are ready to open up. I think she was recognizing that she had missed that moment with you. And was hoping that what she said would lighten the mood and allow you to reconnect.

She was fine with it, it sounds like. My T once responded to my statement about something she did by agreeing with my comment and saying "I know that about myself". It sounds similar to that. And it sounded as if she was hoping to free the anxiety about saying what was on your mind because she is interested in whatever you are thinking.

Your anger didn't cause your T to do anything or to say something negative about herself.

But I think your anger scares you, you believe it has power, and it scared you to feel anger toward her. But that's therapy. You accept that, hard as it can be, and you take it out and look at it so you can understand it and ((granite)) much better.

wow echoes i think you really hit the nail on the head with this one. this really bothered me big time and i bet this is totally why.i am terified about my anger .this is why i shut down. i can guarentee i must have saw my T reaction to my shutting down and feeling bad as a direct responce to my being angry. that scared me.

i dont think i could ever say my T talks to much .we have so many sessions that nothing is said at all. strange she thinks she talks to much

Granite, you don't want your anger to affect anyone else?