"ideal client" vs "ideal T"

1) I don't think I am an "ideal client" in general. While I'm in touch with my feelings outside of therapy I have a tendancy to duck and cover from my feelings while I'm in my appt. I have found it hard to articulate what I'm feeling at times for fear of what she would think of me.

2) I think my T is ideal in that she is patient with me and has been so comforting and helpful in many ways. She has had such a huge impact on my life. What would make her perfect is if she could love me.

Geez, I think you said something very important . .. something important to me anyway I am definitely not my therapist's "ideal" client. I have difficulty trusting, I can be very very stubborn, I read the literature more extensively than she could ever manage with her busy practice and when I started therapy, I got emotionally overwhelmed very easily and that resulted in numerous flight responses. But I did recognize early on, without really knowing it consciously, that my therapist was the "ideal" therapist for me. She was patient, consistent and infinitely steady. She knew how to wait me out, sitting quietly and patiently, demonstrating her willingness to be there no matter how many times I had to take flight. I think that makes her invaluable. . . . Is she perfect? Of course not, but she knows her craft and she's willing to share her knowledge and skill with me in a way that I can make use of it. I think that's ideal!

i think my T and I fit perfectly together on a personal level and well on a professional. I am far from an ideal client; I frustrate my T and she has said I can be difficult and a challenge. Sometimes I wish my T had more into her T bag to offer me. I love her too much though to search for a T who would force me to do things and think critically like a CBT specialist. My relationship with my T is the best relationship I have ever had, and she often remarks how much I mean to her too and how she's glad to be such an important part of my life.

Am I my T's "ideal client?"

My T has told me she thinks we're a "great fit." She's also told me that she finds my honesty and my penchant to "say it like it is" quite refreshing. She frequently says "there isn't one of you every hour!!" She's also told me that I have great insight into myself, which makes her job easier. I fit the criteria in the list above; I am consistent, verbal, non-resistant, willing to do the work, respectful of boundaries, etc. However, I'm not sure whether I am her "ideal" client. The main reason I say this is because she specializes in "X" and I don't have "X." I don't have a diagnosis or a specific issue I am working on in therapy; I simply find it helpful to have someone to process things with once a week. For me, therapy has been helpful in building my self-esteem,getting me to be more outgoing, and giving me the confidence I need to build deeper friendships/relationships in my life. My T has said I've made significant changes throughout the year we've been working together. However, I don't know if it is as gratifying to see these kinds of changes as it is to see someone overcome more serious problems. I also think there's an extent to which Ts enjoys working with people who remind them of themselves-- for instance, my T treats people with "X" because she has "X." I don't know if she is able to relate to me as much as she can relate to someone with "X." However, I like to think that T and I have other commonalities and that she sees other parts of herself in me.

Is my T my "ideal T?"

Pretty close. She is consistent and professional, yet willing to be flexible within reason. She is respectful, expressive, supportive, caring and patient. She always has something nice to say and she lifts my self-esteem when it is waning. While she is definitely warm, sometimes I wish she were even warmer. Sometimes I wish she showed her emotions more, or was more in tune with my emotions. There are times I share difficult things with her, or bring up my relationship with her, and she says nothing, or she says something neutral. In those moments, it would help if she were more reassuring. For instance, last session, I told her that a friend of mine said "I think it's pathetic that you care so much about your T." My T's response was "don't listen to your friend. your friend is just trying to make you feel bad." I WISH T's response would have been "It is not pathetic that you care about me. I'm touched that you care, and I think it's great. I care about you too. I think having a caring relationship is helpful for therapy." Usually, I don't need my T to give me reassurance. However, in those moments I feel I DO need reassurance!

For me, an ideal T would be someone who perserveres, sees through your defenses and works with that. Someone who doesn't just throw you into the "too hard" basket when things get a bit challenging. I don't know for sure but I think the ideal client would be someone who doesn't question the system (or the "process", not sure how to describe it), who blindly trusts the therapist from the word go, and who is flexible and willing to change, and who is "chomping at the bit" to make this change. I think in reality, the ideal therapist and perfect clients are both very few and far between, but this combination would make the best possible outcome. These ideals would sort of be something that both the therapist and client would aspire to become, hence the term "ideal".