[Chloe2]

Has anyone got some experience on this for me, I want to stop therapy, I don't feel like I getting anything from it any longer. 2 ways to handle it, go in and tell him, and risk him trying to convince me to stay, or just cancel next session. I know he would not contact me if I cancelled. I don't want to be convinced to keep going, I would like to end it between us rather than disappearing. How do Ts generally handle these sorts of things? Do they make a big deal out of it? Will it be easy to end? I know he feels I need more therapy.

[Asiablue]

I would imagine that a therapist will respect your decision to stop. However if they feel you still need therapy, they will be honest about that. Just cancelling and not going back for a final "closure" session seems a shame. Quite often you can get lots from your last session. Usually the door is left open for you to return if you need to and they will wish you well.

The thing you have to ask yourself is even tho you may not be getting anything from your sessions, do you still need therapy?

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Chloe2

How do Ts generally handle these sorts of things? Do they make a big deal out of it? Will it be easy to end? I know he feels I need more therapy.

How the T handles it will depend on the situation. If he thinks you could benefit from more therapy, he will probably say so. But I don't think he will twist your arm. It usually says in the informed consent form you sign at the beginning that you are free to stop therapy at any time, and I think Ts respect this and do not lean on you too hard. They know there is often a power differential in the relationship and don't want to use undue influence. Your T might be reassured if you tell him your plan for continuing to work on your issues. (But you don't have to tell him that.)

I have ended therapy with 2 different therapists. The first one, I didn't actually mean to end, I just had to cancel an appointment for some reason. She called to reschedule and I was unable to at that time, and the weeks passed and I never returned. It wasn't intentional, but it was easy. Looking back, I wish I had not done that. I wish I had known that I wasn't going to continue and had had a final session where I told her and said good-bye. Oh, well.

The other time was with the family therapist my daughter and I were seeing. I did better that time. My daughter and I told him near the beginning of our session that we wouldn't be coming anymore. We got to use the whole session to wrap things up, tell what we had learned from therapy, say what we needed to continue to work on, etc. It was very nice. He did not try to convince us to stay. He was very professional and respected our autonomy to decide.

Good luck. I don't really know your situation, but I hope you choose to see him one last time...

[SoupDragon]

I e-mailed my T a while ago to say I wanted a break - my T e-mailed back and said it was inappropriate to just stop going without discussion. I therefore kept my session and looking back I am glad I went back - I am still seeing T and feel much more settled and positive.

We spoke about it again later and T said that in the same way that T wouldn't just e-mail me and tell me not to come anymore, I need to be respectful of the same as T is human too. I sort of see T's point.

I have also contacted another T in the past as I was unsure about my T - That T encouraged me to go back and talk to my T - I didn't talk to my T about it (it still remains a dark secret of mine), but again I am glad that I stuck with it.

I was having a tough time a couple of weeks ago and T suggested we have a review session. T said they wanted to keep working with me, but it was fine if I wanted a break. Think T is clever as when I was given a free choice of carrying on or stopping, I of course wanted to carry on. Hmmm.

There is a site somewhere on the net that talks about quitting therapy and suggests making sure you are quitting for the right reasons and it is not just about running away.

Good luck in your decision.

[Omers]

The 'responsible' thing to do IMO is go to that last session and have closure for both of you... T's have feelings too even though we aren't 'supposed' to worry about them.

I would also ask myself "have I found the healing I need/want or an I just leaving this option". If you have not found the healing you need/want then 1. I would ask T for referrals that would better meet those needs and/or 2. Make sure you replace therapy with something else that is healing for you. Even if it is something totally different like meditation or an exercise class.

[Chloe2]

Thank you for the support! I went, we talked, and I feel better than ever about therapy! We are continuing. After reading a recent post I realized I have completely overanalyzed my therapy relationship expecting perfection. It can't be perfect and my feelings of hesitation with my T were steering me away mentally from therapy. I need to jump back in, because I had been withdrawing from it and him and putting a lot of the fault on him.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by Chloe2

Thank you for the support! I went, we talked, and I feel better than ever about therapy! We are continuing. After reading a recent post I realized I have completely overanalyzed my therapy relationship expecting perfection. It can't be perfect and my feelings of hesitation with my T were steering me away mentally from therapy. I need to jump back in, because I had been withdrawing from it and him and putting a lot of the fault on him.

That's awesome! That's progress.

[Wren_]

that's wonderful it worked out so well it helped me also reading the advice others shared with you