Validating your T's personality

Many of us think our Ts are wonderful people, and I wish everyone would think that of their T. But we of course see them usually only in the therapeutic setting where they are on their best behavior and see only the best parts of their personality. Would you like to have an outsider, someone who knows your T personally, validate their personality?

I found something several months ago online about my T. It's the only secret I have from her, not because she'd be angry, but because it validates to me, that she's as wonderful as I believe she is. The person who also said she is wonderful, is a relative, and the way it was worded validated my T's personality for me. I didn't need it to know, but it made me feel even better about her. A relative's view is also skewed, but not as much as a client's. I'm glad this person feels the way I do about my T!

I know this post is a little strange, but I wondered if anyone had any feelings about it.

Yeah, I actually think about how my T is outside of session as well, and I also think that my T is a wonderful, caring, kind person, altho I've never interacted with her outside of the therapeutice setting. But I also think that in order to be a therapist, you have to have a caring personality, and you have to want to help people. So maybe therapists (as a whole) are just caring, empathetic people, which is why they would want to go into that profession in the first place.

i'm not so sure i could handle knowing a lot of personal stuff about my T.i think right now the less i know the better off i am so i dont use anything good or bad to affect how i see her or my work with her.but i guess if i needed someone to validate that she knows what she is doing as far as being a good T i guess i would like that

It's not that I don't KNOW she's warm, empathetic, and caring. It's more about having someone who is close to her validate it for me. Maybe it's part of my issue of not trusting my own instincts, though I knew my T was the one for me, immediately. It just gives me a warm feeling to know that her relative said something like that. It was a very brief statement, not anything revealing about her. I liked reading it, though.

I happened to meet someone who knows my T personally, and she told me she is a wonderful, warm person. I also talked to someone who was her student and she said that T is WONDERFUL! That made me trust her even before I got to know her . I very much relate to the need to validate who they are, because it can be so confusing, like standing in a house of mirror without knowing what is real and what is our own projections ...

interesting question, rainbow. hmm .. I don't think I would want or need that.

I happened to see an interaction between my T and one of his kids and it was very validating of who he says he is. I was testing with one of his interns while they were in his backyard doing chores. Seeing him in the role of a good dad really helped me to feel safer with him.

I don't need any kind of validation. My own personal experience shows me who my T is. How she is with me is the only thing that's important to me. How she is out of session is not my concern. I don't want to hear about anybody else's experience. I know who she is.

I have heard my T in other situations (like when I was on the phone with her, and she was home) , 2 times her phone accidently called me (like it was probably in her back pocket) and I could hear her talking to her husband-- one time she was laughing, the other time she was telling him off
I pretty much know my T and her whole personality. She holds nothing back. If she's angry, upset, frustrated, sad, happy,silly, joking around, having a bad day, is way pissed off at somebody in real life-- I have seen her that way. I've seen how she talks to her kids also, and how she talks about other people, etc.
So, I feel fairly certain I know her whole personality. She is a wonderful person, she is also a whole person with a ride range of feelings.

I do feel like my T is authentic with me, and I love that about him. He is so solid and safe, and also very real and truthful.

I know a lot about an organization he works with as a volunteer, and I know a lot about what he does with them and how much time and effort and thought he puts into it, and I so admire that about him.

And I have seen other things that have shown me that he is who he says he is.

I do think there is something reassuring about it. I grew up in a house that looked one way on the outside and was COMPLETELY different on the inside. I know things aren't always what they seem, and that made it hard to trust T. I really think that after all of this time, I do trust him just because of who he is, but knowing the other things I know about him from outside of therapy probably add an extra layer of reassurance.

I think you "get it", tree. It's not at ALL that I don't trust my T. I do, totally. It just gave me a warm feeling to know that someone else sees her the way I do.

Rain, I never really thought about t's personality, he is fairly guarded about his personal life.
it is good to hear that your t's is just what you need. this is so interesting!!!

it would be strange to know one "t" and then have them be totally different when dealing with family and friends. kinda like a Jekyll and Hyde would that mean we would never know which t we would be getting????