A review... but I don't want to

So, I don't see my T very often anymore as I'm no longer a high risk client.
Earlier this year, before I started taking medication, she's said that maybe this is as far as I'm comfortable going for now.
Then 2 months later, I was on medication.
We met once after that, when the effects of the medication were finally fully reached, and I told her I was doing ok. So she suggested that we meet once more... and only once more.
But the thing is, since then, I've found myself stumbling through life. As if the medication has somehow allowed me to remember repressed memories, and I'm struggling to come to terms with it.
It's forced me to call crisis lines sometimes... and I seem to slip back into depressive episodes because of what I remember.
I don't know how to bring this up...

{{{ Disman~! }}}} maybe you could start fresh with a new T ? best wishes,, Gus

Thanks Gus, but I don't think I'd open up to a new T.
Nor will I really have the time/ assets to No one really knows about this.

You could always call your T and read her what you just posted. Or email her what you posted if she allows emails.

If you still have one more session with your T, you could even print out your post and give it to her to read.

I'm sure that as long as you manage to somehow communicate your distress to your T, she'll be willing to help you.

She makes me read things out loud... TO her. Which I hate....
But thanks I might email her and let her know how I feel.

If you're calling crisis lines every other day, it sounds like you really need someone to talk to. I agree with others that you should let your T know - sounds like email will work. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

It's just that I don't want to sound needy, and I don't want her to say, "This is as far as we can go together."

I don't know what I'm afraid of... or how to explain to her that I need professional help.... Because what'll we talk about? The weather? O.O

Yeah, my T does that too. But, I decided that it would be even more awkward to give her something to read and then sit there and wait while she does. At least if I'm reading TO her, I don't have to look at her...just look at the paper and say the words that are on it.

(((dismantle))) Your T should be more than capable of helping you open up about your feelings. Try not to let the fear take over (I know I've been there before). It's hard to overcome but you can succeed!

PS - Keep us posted!

I know she's capable. She'd one of the only people who've quite impressed me as much as she did. And I'm a stickler! (I mean this in a non-transference way).

I know what I'm afraid of... I'm afraid of opening these parts to me that she already knows because I've told her.... But letting her see how much it affects me, as I tend to shrug things off. And I'm afraid of being THAT vulnerable with her, and then watching her 'give up' on me.
I can't take someone giving up on me now... I'd be insufferable.

she thought previously you'd gone as far as you could (for now) from what you said; but from what you are realising you are needing to go further and have things there that you need help with ..... I hope you share these with her ... what makes you think she'll give up on you? it doesn't sound like she would from the little you've said

Because she's said that we're reviewing
She found out I was going crazy... and she still suggested reviewing.
Meaning we're gonna cut off soon.
She is a CBT anyway... I guess it couldn't be too long

CBT Therapists can still help with memories and the "going crazy" ... I hope you can share with her more about what's going on including the calls to the crisis lines and that you can ask her for the continued help you should have

I know... I guess I'm really jsut afraid of letting her know this.
I'm afraid of telling her, and she underestimates what it means (to me).
I don't know if I'll tell her about the crisis line... but she knows I called a friend for support once...

If you tell her about the crisis lines it might give her more insight into the help she needs to offer I know it's scary, but I hope you do this for yourself

I know, but she's gonna make me choke lol.
I'll just play it by ear....

So while you play it by ear are you going to email her?

Dismantle She needs to know how much those parts are affecting you so she can help. I tend to be a "shrug off-er" myself and I'm coming to realize that taking the risk of telling her is a better choice. It is so tough. I don't think she'd give up on you.

@tigergirl: I don't want to be an imposition... I don't want to bother her more than I should.

And I know... Ihave to find a way to let her know that.

Thanks for your support guys.
I'm just full of fear... at what all this means, I guess.

This is the information she needs to be hearing from you; it isn't about being a bother, it's about getting the help you need from someone who is qualified to provide it

Mine too. But I think she's right.

Much better to see an old T (if you can) than start again with a new one.