Top 10 things patients do that annoy therapists?

Does anyone know where I can find this list online? Or something like it? I've been searching with no luck. Reason is ... I called out my T on doing two of the top 10 things T's do that annoy patients. (It was a very emotional session, and I understand what's going on - all good - but still very difficult). Then he pointedly mentioned there's also a list of the top things patients do that annoy T's. I'm not sure what he was referring to, butI want to be prepared for our next session. I'm curious what I might have been doing that made him say that.

Any help in finding this list will really be appreciated.

I have no idea but am interested in this.

I don't care. It makes no difference as far as I'm concerned. We're the customer and we're paying them for their service. Sorry to seem so belligerent but I think he was way off base making that comment.

Well, here's ONE list, but I think most of it is REALLY dumb:

http://www.beatingthebeast.com/forum...showtopic=8025

Good luck!

I kind of agree. It seems off base and even kind of passive aggressive. And then to NOT detail how you were making these mistakes? I'm not sure this is very cool at all.

Im wondering if he made the comment to simply say we are human on both sides of this. And thus, just as clients get annoyed with Ts, Ts do get annoyed with clients. I am sure I could list my top 5 (10 is a bit much...) Its all part of being in a relationship with others.

Thanks for all of your replies. And Ygrec, that list is pretty funny - I'll have to read the whole thing later today. Thanks for sharing
I think this is exactly why he said it. In the context of the session, it was not out of line at all. It's a long story, but I was experiencing almost overwhelming feelings of hurt and anger and was lashing out at him like I never do. My reactions were way inappropriate for the situation - they're coming from past experience and should not have been directed at him, but I guess that's what transference is all about. He yawned once or twice - big deal. He was jet-lagged from an overseas trip. He always turns off his cell phone for sessions. So he forgot once. From my reaction you'd think he had slapped me across the face. So I think he was saying that OK, he did stuff that's annoying, and well, patients can do stuff that's annoying too. We're all human. Next session I'll (hopefully) be able to explain to him why I overreacted. I was hurting too much to get the words out, but once I can he'll understand why I was attacking him. Ah, therapy, don't you just love it
Thanks everyone - I always enjoy reading the variety of opinions here - that's what makes PC such a great place to hang out.

Maybe it was an attempt at humour? Winding you up? Or, like stormyangels said, just a way of pointing out that you're both human. I wouldn't take this comment too seriously, as I doubt he meant it negatively. If my therapist said that to me I'd probably giggle

Interesting thought though! I bet therapists do have a sort of mental checklist of client behaviors that they could 'call us out' for... but I'm not surprised you've not found anything on it online - I don't suppose it would be very professional of therapists to publish such lists...

My "guess" would maybe include these things:

1) Not paying on time / or at all
2) Saying to therapist "You don't know what you are talking about" ... more than once.
3) Canceling without notice or no/show.
4) Too many "crisis" calls for repeat non-crisis issues if not DBT.
5) Stalking the T

Thanks, WePow I'm pretty sure I saw a list like this somewhere, and it included a couple of the things you mentioned. As I recall, there were 2 lists - one for the top 10 things that patients do that annoy T's, and the other for the things that T's do that annoy patients. Oh well, I gotta remember to use that bookmark thingie more often.

One more:
6. Raising a really important subject 90 seconds before the session ends. (Guilty!!)

Lateness has got to be right up there, on both sides.

My Cold Distant T was routinely up to 15 minutes late without an explanation...another instance of "testing you" behavior, as far as I was concerned. I mean....come on!

Everyone runs late once in a while, but I bet that ALL LATE, ALL THE TIME hits the pet peeve list on both sides.

Maybe we could all come up with UNIVERSAL TOP 10 and could have a therapist/client bill of rights/wrongs.

Okay, I know, get a life, MCL!

") Saying to therapist "You don't know what you are talking about" ... more than once.
"

What should you say instead if you think they are just dead flat wrong? I think mine does not know what she is talking about most of the time and last appointment she admitted she was "fishing." ARe you really just supposed to agree with them to keep them happy?

Stick with the truth. It's the only thing you'll be able to remember. (Trust me, I'm a bit older)

How about, "I really don't share that view. May I describe the reasons why?"

"I disagree."
"That may be true, but ....."
"I don't think that applies in my case."
"I prefer to look at it this way ...."

I've disagreed with my T several times when he made assumptions about how I was feeling, or what something meant to me, or what something signified in a dream, etc. I would probably not disagree with me if he is stating something about psychology or therapy, etc. He's the expert in that, but I have no hesitation in saying I think he's not getting something about me. It may turn out later that I didn't want to face something, or was hiding something, or being evasive, etc etc, but I feel free to speak up to him about how I am feeling and what I think.

Ha! This is great - I love it!!! Me too!

There's one right here on PC

You're right - it is

Thanks, Indie'sOK. I was looking for one that lists the things that patients do that annoys their T's, but actually some of these would apply. I wonder how my T would feel if I ate lunch or fell asleep during a session. My next appt is at noon - maybe I'll bring in a sack lunch from McDonald's

I think one of my T's would actually find it amusing if I did some of those things

I couldn't find a list about annoying therapists although I'm sure there are things that annoy them; I hope you can talk more about it with him when you return although I don't think it was connected to anything you were doing just more like what stormyangels suggested with the humaness

as far as your being annoyed with him, sounds like just one of those days where whatever he did something might have been annoying and in this case there were some really obvious annoyance factors

Shoot - I think I read your question backwards Oops.

I am also quite old. And as a lawyer, truth is many different things.

So the idea is just to say it in a nicer way? I understand that, I thought t.he original was implying not to disagree with them.

Your lawyer hat may be an impediment here in this search called therapy, though it is a great way to make a living and I so admire your ability to do this in RL. Have you thought of taking it off from time to time, maybe for a fifty minute appointment once a week? It could be SO liberating, and gee, you could put it back on when your appointment was over. And your clients would be none the wiser!

Now it would be students who need to be none the wiser - and they can be worse than clients. The one good part about lawyering and therapy is that I am not afraid of conflict with a therapist.

I hear you on that one! I was a negotiator for years and my ability to withstand conflict was a plus in T. However, I resorted to conflict manipulation in order to AVOID my feelings in therapy. Which was a problem because they really needed to be explored. I felt that I was in a ONE DOWN position in T and that Therapist would take advantage of my vulnerability. IN reality, my inability to be vulnerable was what made me a real ***, and the reason that I was isolated and unhappy. I wish I had let my badass persona go a long, long time ago. I bet that my closed up nature was one of the top 10 things that annoy therapists. Oh well. Live and learn!