Pocket Riders (again?)

FourRedheads · Oct 13, 2011, 06:45 AM

Am I being too needy?

Just looking for some support, I guess. I hate this. I hate the anticipation, the count-down, the panic that sets in the day before.

I feel tired and sad and out-of-sorts. And overwhelmed. And alone.

I'm trying, I really am. I go out and walk the dog and love my children and do the every day stuff. But it's hard. And I want to cry but I can't find the tears.

/whine

rainbow_rose · Oct 13, 2011, 07:29 AM

i'd be happy to ride along, FourRedHeads

SilentLucidity · Oct 13, 2011, 07:55 AM

I'm always up for a good pocket ride. If you want to go for a ride you can hop in mine later today when I see my T.

Oct 13, 2011, 08:01 AM

I'm not really a pocket rider, myself, although I love the idea. I just wanted to say that asking for support is just about the polar opposite of needy. It's so easy to give, especially in an online forum! I think this post took me less than a minute to write.

You know that you've been through a lot, and you've been working hard in therapy. I think the tiredness and sadness and all the other emotions are a sign that you are reaping the rewards of therapy. Gotta go through to get past and all that jazz. It's normal to feel these things about a session approaching, so try to cut yourself some slack, okay?

Anne

FourRedheads · Oct 13, 2011, 09:26 AM

Thank you. Asking for support is hard. I want to delete my posts.

laceylu · Oct 13, 2011, 09:57 AM

Ok what is a pocket rider? I feel left out not knowing. Therapy is hard work. It is scary and demanding. The r/s you have with your T is like no other in nature. The r/s is hard to define, especially if your emotional development was stunted and you have picked up and kept the coping strategies you needed to survive in childhood. Procedural memory is really hard to rewrite. The books In Session by D. Lott and Getting through the day by Nancy Napier have really helped me. My journal helps. I write and color in it. I tell T How anxious I am the night before session. I am a seasoned client and I can tell you with all certainty that if PC would have been around my first time in therapy, I may have been more successful. Therapy is not a mystery anymore. Dont stop posting on PC, I believe it can help you in time. at least reading others entries has also really helped me. I have session today and I am holding my stuffies T let me borrow so session still makes me nervous. And the stuffies help even though I am embarrassed by their presence in my arms. Peace to you.

beautiful.mess · Oct 13, 2011, 11:23 AM

I'll ride along.

I empathize COMPLETELY with what you said about the overwhelmed feeling, panic, anxiety, loneliness, etc. right before sessions. I told my t about this before and he said that those feelings are a good sign that therapy is headed in the right direction; but even so, knowing that doesn't make it any easier. Some things we just have to push through, and you're doing a good job just by showing up to T. I've always thought that making the effort to go and show up is half the battle.

Like Anne said, try to be good to yourself. And hang in there, you're doing great.

CantExplain · Oct 27, 2011, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laceylu

The r/s you have with your T is like no other in nature.

It's worse than that: it's downright UNNATURAL. How can you tell someone your most intimate secrets and never touch them?! That's part of what makes it so difficult.

lastyearisblank · Oct 27, 2011, 11:36 PM

Oh good, a pocket to ride in, I was looking for one of those...

gashly · Oct 28, 2011, 01:05 AM

I am not familiar with what what a pocket rider is either.

It sounds like you're doing healthy things to cope, you're talking about it in a self-aware way, and you're doing the things you need to do today. I think that's great!