I don't want to go back to therapy

Me either! Therapy needs some kind of caveat.

beautiful.mess, I've been to a therapist before that was totally non directive and even though I'm a pretty directive person and like to run the show, I got nothing out of the process. I'm sure there are people who thrive in that type of setting. But if you're willing to give the therapy "some more time to see what unfolds", why not try a request . . . a simple request. You mentioned listening to the crickets because he's so set in his technique of never breaking a silence. Why not have a conversation with him about how unhelpful these silences are to you? I really do believe that a good therapist knows when to be silent and when to break the silence before it becomes unhelpful and even damaging to the relationship. Why not have this conversation with your therapist and see if he's willing to take the suggestions and actually change things up a bit to meet your needs? A simple request like this and a therapist's willingness to listen and change is very powerful. Hope things work out for you whatever you decide!

Thank you Jaybird. I'm going to bring this up to him, and see what he says. I haven't been seeing him long enough to accurately anticipate his reaction or what he'll say/do. But I'm going to go in with a positive attitude about it and hope for the best. I struggle immensely with asking for what I need, so this is a big deal for me to approach him with this. But I WANT to do it, because I know I am capable and want to FEEL capable (even though I may vomit.....but what's a little vomit in the grand scheme of things, LOL). Thanks again for your kind words.