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  #1  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 05:25 PM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Yippee! I did it! Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to go back to see T today.

I got more and more anxious before I went, it was hard to concentrate at work.

Anyway managed to get myself there and had planned and rehearsed lots of times.

I calmly said everything I wanted to say and T apologised. It was quite a strange experience really, my memory didn't fail me too much and I felt very in control.

I don't think T thought I was spot on with my new insights (i.e. apparently it isn't about T versus me, but it is about both of us, T AND me). But I thought to myself "no I am going to concentrate on me for a change, I have had a lifetime of considering everyone else and I am much in need of my entire focus at this point in my life. Maybe in time I can share that focus between me and T and be a little more balanced, but I think a little selfishness is in order first.

T said that it was their opinion that I should not quit therapy at this time, but if I wanted to change therapists, we could find another one together. It was quite weird hearing that - with no diagnosis, sometimes I wonder if I am imagining everything, so to hear someone say that I needed therapy was odd.

We talked about the terror I had felt last week and the fact that I had felt anxious in sessions before, but never that bad. Then it dawned on me, that normally when we look at the big stuff I dissociate and last week I had not done this. So maybe despite it feeling so horrible, it was nonetheless progress as I did stay with my feelings, the room and T and did not switch off.

So a week on, strangely I am thankful for that hard session last week - I really have learned so much this week and that includes feeling really supported by you all on here - so thank-you so much. Soup
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alwaysrejoice, CantExplain, happiedasiy, harvest moon, Joanna_says, learning1, rainbow8, rainbow_rose, sittingatwatersedge, skysblue, WePow, zooropa

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  #2  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 05:29 PM
Anonymous32732
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Wonderful news!! So glad you had the courage to do this because it must have been SO difficult. Hugs!!!!
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SoupDragon
  #3  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 06:49 PM
sittingatwatersedge sittingatwatersedge is offline
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(((((((((((((((((((( SD )))))))))))))))))))
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SoupDragon
  #4  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 06:51 PM
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zooropa zooropa is offline
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thank you for sharing this. I'm really happy for you, and personally it gives me a lot of hope as I go into a similar tough session with my own T tomorrow. Thank you.
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She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
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SoupDragon
  #5  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 06:52 PM
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WePow WePow is offline
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Way to go!!!!!!!! Yippie!!!!!!
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  #6  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 06:53 PM
Anonymous32477
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Hey, you own this success.

But I do agree that the members of PC are amazing and an incredible source of support.

Anne
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SoupDragon
  #7  
Old Nov 01, 2011, 07:21 PM
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alwaysrejoice alwaysrejoice is offline
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(((((Soup)))))

I'm glad it went well.
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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley
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SoupDragon
  #8  
Old Nov 02, 2011, 09:06 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such excellent work!!!!!!!!!!!! You did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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SoupDragon
  #9  
Old Nov 02, 2011, 10:01 AM
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onlymedid onlymedid is offline
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You are AMAZING and AWESOME!!!
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."

Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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SoupDragon
  #10  
Old Nov 02, 2011, 10:36 AM
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mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
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Howwonderful. It must be great to be able to celebrate this ....bask in it. This stuff is not easy. You deserve a big pat on the back but there is no emoticon for that, so I'm sending a hug your way!
Thanks for this!
SoupDragon
  #11  
Old Nov 02, 2011, 11:05 AM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Thanks for all your posts and "well dones" - I think the initial high that I felt from achieving something that was for me really hard, is staring to wane and I am waiting for the bump as I reach gound level again - but maybe that is a more realistic place to be. I am certainly enjoying the buzz though
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Soup
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Sannah
  #12  
Old Nov 04, 2011, 04:02 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoupDragon View Post
So a week on, strangely I am thankful for that hard session last week - I really have learned so much this week and that includes feeling really supported by you all on here - so thank-you so much. Soup
I feel very much at home here, especially with the GIDs, SIs and DIDs. They seem like good people.
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