[Capriciousness]

I moved recently and had leave my old therapist. I felt a connection with her from the beginning. I really feel that she understood me. Just talking to her made me feel better and she would always say something that helped me out.

Now I'm trying to find a new T and am not having any luck. I honestly don't know that I will find someone as good for me as my old T was.

I just don't understand why in an age of telephones and web cams why a move has to be the end of and incredibly beneficial therapeutic relationship. It seems so unfair.

I'm sad. Has anyone gone through this?

[skycastle]

I'm sorry, Capriciousness. I had a therapist before that I was seeing at school, and I really liked him a lot. I had to stop seeing him when my # of sessions ran out. I really felt connected with him. I wish I could find that connection again, though maybe in a less painful way. I thought it was hard to experience and also hard to let go of.

I did find a new therapist, though, and I really liked her for a while. Things are rocky now, but I'm starting to think maybe it's in my nature for my relationships with my therapists to be a little rocky...

I'm sorry you're sad... is it hard to muster the strength to look for a new therapist without the support of your old one? It'd be hard for me to just sort all of that out in my brain, I think, especially on to of moving!

I've so been there, and it really hurts. The first therapist that I did real work with was amazing. I'd seen therapists before (in college - so a bit younger) and I didn't know what therapy really was or that the deep connection with the therapist is the only way it really works. After seeing her for 15 months I moved out the country. I was going ot be moving back 10 months later, but her husband was very sick and she didn't know if she'd still be practicing or working with 'deeper therapy' clients. I left at a really hard time in our work - we'd just started opening up some very difficult stuff. I thought I could just wait the 10 months and pray that we could work together again - I cried at first every single day. After a month, I hit a depression and I knew that I had to find someone else to keep safe. When I first started seeing this person, I just sat in her office not saying much. Then I started talking some, but everything she did I compared to my first therapist. Finally, about six months into our relationship, I started appreciating her. She was a good fit, thankfully, as I was in a place with literally one English-speaking therapists. In general, looking around isn't a bad thing, but hard. Getting back to my first therapist back in the US--I thought about her everyday, I loved to death the little teddy bear she gave me, I thought I would lose it (kill myself or something) if she couldn't see me when I returned. She couldn't. It was hard, but eventually (after a not great therapy relationship) I did find an amazing therapist. I've had three real therapy connections - all of them different, all of them wonderful. I keep solace in the fact that I've been able to do slightly different work with each one and I have inside of my heart three amazing therapists, not just one.

It's a very odd ending for such an intimate relationship, but I guess we go into it knowing this, not that it makes things easier

[Wren_]

Have you asked your old t about continuing via skype or phone?

[Capriciousness]

Thanks for your thoughts and stories everyone. I really appreciate it.

She said we could do phone sessions for the transition but that it is better for me to have someone local. sigh. I don't really think it is.

[CantExplain]

My therapist means so much to me I don't think I can bear to move.

[missbelle]

I have gone through it. My therapist retired. She and I would have been wonderful friends had it not been for the professional relationship. She meant a great deal to me and I cried when she left and I had to say my final goodbye to her. A great person but I know change happens, and I had to move forward as well as she.

The next therapist may not be as good..who knows, but she has also left you with so much that you can build on!

Thinking of you this evening;