[skysblue]

I feel so much gratitude towards my therapist. She validates me. She guides me. She casts light into the murky darkness of my mind. She brings clarity to confusion. She offers me exactly the amount of support she knows this emotional cripple needs. She hears me. She defends me. She is my advocate. She sympathizes and empathizes. She's there for me when I need her. She puts up with me. She's patient with me. A document of many pages could not contain enough words to properly describe how much my T has done for me.

So, how can I best honor my therapist who means the world to me?

I think that the honoring happens pretty much all the time, as you make progress, work towards insight and change, become more of yourself. All of which you are doing, and your T sees this happening.

I suspect that nothing makes our T's feel more honored than to see us become happier, healthier people.

Anne

[rainbow_rose]

we honor our therapists by working hard, showing up, giving of ourselves, being vulnerable, letting them know when they mess up, being honest, etc. ... and saying thank you.

in short... keep doin' what you're doin'

[zbmom]

Write her a heartfelt letter?

[Wren_]

I like Rainbow Rose's suggestion ... keep doing what you are doing.

You've been working hard, taking risks, sharing things ... including your Therapy Thursday ode so she knows how you feel

maybe another way to honor her; is by learning how to honor yourself?

[rainbow8]

I agree with everyone that you ARE honoring her by showing up and doing this hard work. But, if you want to do more, you can write a poem, write a letter of thanks, make her a collage if you are creative, or bake her something (I'd ask if she'd accept it first), or buy her a present (again, you need to check her policy on accepting gifts).

I'm glad you feel that way about your T!

[unaluna]

Analyze this impulse for the reaction formation it is? I don't know! Ask HER! Altho your post was a pretty good rewrite of the 23rd Psalm...

[skysblue]

I think my gratitude may take shape again in the form of a poem. I don't know, but that's what usually happens when deep feelings bubble up. Thanks for all of your ideas. I feel that my T is truly saving my life. Not that I'm suicidal or risking self harm or anything like that. But my T is rescuing me from the unconscious where I have been living. And that place is where confusion reigns and a thick fog or mist covers and hides the primal self which is the True Self. And this Self is awakening and insists on climbing out of the darkness and emerging into the light and reclaiming her birthright. And this is the only way that I will ever be able to live an authentic life driven by joyful intention which is my goal. I want freedom instead of enslavement. I want to be awake instead of asleep. And it is my T who is bringing me closer to achieving my wishes.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Show up
Try hard
Thank her

[skysblue]

I wish she would raise her rates so I could pay her more.

[Ygrec23]

A long time ago (a million years B.C.) I tried to thank T by buying her a very special present that no one else would have thought of and that I knew she would really like. And with the biggest smile in the world, and the kindest words, she refused it, saying that "according to the rules" she simply could not accept it.

But I knew from her face and the look in her eyes that she really appreciated the thought and consideration that had gone into selecting and buying the present, which it was obvious to both of us could only have been bought for her and no one else. And you know? That's all that counted. The thought. The choice. The effort. The present itself didn't matter at all.

And you can (of course) put such thought, and choice, and effort into bringing her a poem, or a flower, or any other thing that demonstrates that you've been listening to her and paying attention very, very closely and attentively.

Take care.

[PTSDlovemycats]

raising her rates wouldn't really be honouring her though, it would be more like complying with the new rates even though you would be more than willing to pay the new fee.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

raising her rates wouldn't really be honouring her though, it would be more like complying with the new rates even though you would be more than willing to pay the new fee.

Yes, you're right. It wouldn't be the same.

[confuseduk]

Maybe you could show her your post, I'm sure she would appreciate how highly you value her. Sometimes it's just nice to be told

Doing what your doing. Showing up.

One of the things that really helped me feel honored as a T is when my clients reflected on their own progress and gains in therapy. The work that they themselves have done to get where we are in treatment. It allows me to honor the work that we're doing together, and I find a lot of pride when clients talk about that with me. Because they were able to honor the relationship, our work, and in turn honor themselves for all the kick butt work they're doing

[PTSDlovemycats]

I think what Stormy said would be great for you to try.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by skysblue

So, how can I best honor my therapist who means the world to me?

Writing a poem seems popular.

But what about something simple, like bringing her flowers?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

raising her rates wouldn't really be honouring her though, it would be more like complying with the new rates even though you would be more than willing to pay the new fee.

W said to her T: "You haven't raised your rates in ten years. I think you deserve more." T appreciated that.

On the other hand, my T HAS raised her fees - in the middle of a recession! I certainly won't be getting a raise. I was a bit pissed about that.

Hmmmm. We're a two-T family. Thank goodness our daughter is OK!

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Writing a poem seems popular.

But what about something simple, like bringing her flowers?

I don't think I can bring her gifts. Ethical boundaries that they have, you know. I have given her a beautiful photo I took of a flower once and of course the poems. But I see her colleague this week and I plan on telling her colleague what a wonderful therapist my T is. I'm sure her reputation among her peers is very good but I'd like to add to it.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by skysblue

I don't think I can bring her gifts. Ethical boundaries that they have, you know.

In the society where I live, no one can be offended if you bring them flowers. They are so wonderfully useless they can't be considered a bribe or charity.

If it is unethical for T to accept flowers, I think that is very silly.

Why not ask?

[unaluna]

What are you, French?! come on, someone had to say it; you know you were all thinking it!

Seriously, CE, you keep bringing this up. It can mean nothing or everything. It's a T's choice - perhaps decided with the client? - how loose or tight the boundaries will be. I NEVER gave previous T's any gifts at all. One pdoc - a post-surgery kind-of gag gift. Current T - I'm like a cat daily depositing prey on the doorstep - i.e., it definitely means more to ME than it does to him!

P.s. BTW, I am an avowed francophile, I studied french for 3 years in high school, a couple of odd semesters post grad, T & I often speak french in session, I have a poster of la tour eiffel in my apartment, my apartment building even calls the first floor the ground floor, so - not a french hater.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

In the society where I live, no one can be offended if you bring them flowers. They are so wonderfully useless they can't be considered a bribe or charity.

If it is unethical for T to accept flowers, I think that is very silly.

Why not ask?

I'm not saying she would be offended. I think she would be touched. But I also believe it might cross ethical lines. And I don't want to face any kind of rejection of a gift like that. I think I'll stick to poetry. It has no value.

Silly? Well, maybe. But I do understand their dilemma in accepting gifts and how that might be problematic. I DID bring her a photo of a flower - does that count? a very small unframed photo

[(JD)]

One of the best ways to honor your T is to tell them how much they have helped you. You don't have to go into details, but to say something like "I'm a better person today ..." or "Because of you I am managing so much better"...etc.

Someone who isn't quite to that point yet can make an agreement with the T that you won't quit. That you will show up, on time and work on what T asks. (Oh, you know...you're human so don't worry if you're late once or twice) This shows you value your T's time and expertise, and that you have faith that sticking it out will get you progress in healing.

be well.

PS. You can always leave something on the desk or at the receptionist after a session, during holiday time, for instance... with no name so they can't return it and thus have no ethical qualms (No strings attached.)

[crazycanbegood]

Getting to the point where you can tell her you don't need her anymore

[PreacherHeckler]

Um... I remember telling my T I didn't need him anymore and it wasn't a very honorable moment!