I went back to t. It did not go well.

learning1 · Oct 28, 2011, 11:34 PM

I'm sorry Stopdog. I really hope you're taking care of your hand with a doctor if it's needed.

stopdog · Oct 29, 2011, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sannah

I think so. The one T might trigger things for you. Does she remind you of anyone IRL?

What if you 2 can't make it work better though?

She does not really remind me of anyone but there is some weird mother thing going on - she is not really like my mother I don't think, but a friend of mine who has seen t in a separate thing from me said she looked like and reminded her of my mother.
I have to think about that.

If it can't be made better, I guess I go with the second one - which would seem the better plan in the first place to any sane person.
I do not understand my crazy attachment to the first one

stopdog · Oct 29, 2011, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lost in termination

Stopdog, when is your next appointment? Who do you think is experiencing the negative transference, you or her...or both?

I know little about your relationship with your former T, but from the posts I have read....could this be about CONTROL?

When I recently terminated my last T, I took a brief note in to help me begin.

I said something like the session had the potential of being incredibly healing or incredibly disastrous. I hoped he recognized the HUGE risk it was for me to be there. I wanted to discuss our previous meeting and how it made me feel afterwards. I then asked if we could talk about all these things in a safe way? If I could share how I experienced it? If we could spend the last few minutes talking about the MANY things we did right?

Do you think it might be helpful for you and help keep you focused enough so that from the very beginning, your T and you are focused on what you need.

The appointment is next week. I would not be surprised if there was some element of control in it. I will consider the idea you suggest - perhaps it would help.

stopdog · Oct 29, 2011, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Except that it wasn't a physical assault, it was something the T said. In the 80's (my expression for the day, apparently), it wasn't kosher to say, "You humiliated me", right? We were trained to use non-accusatory "I" statements - "I feel humiliated when you say X". Then the person who said the X responds. Stopdog, can the incident be looked or reprocessed at in this light?

I don't really see the difference, but I suppose I could say that when I see her next and see if it makes a difference

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I went back to t. It did not go well.

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