Regression...

Why do I regress in therapy?? My T says that everytime I go into our office I regress to a child state. Why? What causes this? Anyone know? I know that it's a defensive mechanism but I don't really know why I do it. Can someone please help??

Hi Cats

I do this too. I guess I had thought of it differently. I do it because there I am allowed. I feel like a child inside almost all the time, but everywhere else I have to do my best to be an adult. With T, I can be the child that I am, and receive her mothering as far as she is able to give it. I hadn't seen it as a defence mechanism; I had seen it as the core of our work. I am in therapy so we can 'grow me up' together.

Does this relate to your experiences at all?

Its called theraputic regression. It enables the areas that went unresolved to be resolved.

i dont know the answer to this but i know that i like doing stuff like coloring and sitting on the floor and all because it makes me feel safe .i dont know if this is resistance from talking or not but for now it is what i need to do and i am sure it is what you need to do and work through also.

are you asking because you are uncomfortable with it or because your T is telling you that you need to grow up again.i think it may be a problem if you are regressing outside T also.i know i do this also and that isnt a good thing

I think it's because you need to work with the child parts who feel the way they do. My T wants to know all about the parts and how they feel. Does your T ask you what that part needs, how old she is, and other questions about her (them)? Maybe you can ask her to.

I know you don't like to hear this, but I think your T has played a huge role in maintaining your regression by the way she's overstepped boundaries. Is she still doing that?

SHE's the professional. Why don't you ask her what her plan is to help you grow up? Does she have one?

I don't mean to come across as harsh, but I get very upset when I hear about your T because I care so much about YOU. I hope that's clear, cats.

Maybe it is the way that she treats you? Do you do this in other areas of your life too? If so, maybe it is because this is your emotional age?

I think she wants me to stop doing it and just act my real age. I think emotionally though, the age I am regressing to in therapy might just be the age that I am emotionally. -sigh-.

She wants you to stop doing it? Then she isn't a properly trained therapist.

She doesn't think that I need to act like a child in therapy.

Does she have a plan to help you mature emotionally?

I'm not sure...if she does she hasn't enlightened me at all...her big thing is always saying "Ok, now say that in an adult voice." or "Look at you, you are looking very young again with that pout."

Rainbow, ...Umm...I don't really know. In which way do you think that her crossing boundaries is maintaining my regression?

I can relate to her acting as a mom to me yes.

I'm asking because she is telling me that I need to be a grownup. I don't think that I regress outside of T but I could be wrong...

I think that she sees it as being counter productive because I am not a child anymore.

There's only one person who can answer your question

you're right about that Flodded...

I don't want to cry in therapy anymore but that doesn't mean I can stop right now.

I getcha, cats. My kid voice comes out, but it comes out less, lately, as I have been feeling more competent. I think the voice will change when your feelings change, but T is saying go the other way - change your voice and your feelings will follow? Hmm - maybe so - like when your brain doesn't know the difference between your own fake and real smile, if your facial muscles are smiling, you start feeling 'better'. Maybe if your brain hears an adult voice talking - I know I get embarrassed sometimes hearing my kid voice in front of my T.

Thanks Hankster. I guess the scary part is that I don't even hear the child voice or notice my childlike mannerisms...

Does anyone else experience this at all?

As I said its theraputic regression and yes lots of people in therapy experience this, and its normally worked with. Therapy is the right place for it to happen.

So it's supposed to happen??

My T said that I use it as a defense mechanism but I am not aware of it...

That's therapy. Whatever we bring with us is part of the work.