Regression...

It can be a useful tool.
And it is something to grow out of. If your therapist is help you grow, this will happen naturally.

Hey Cats,

Its most likely a result of transference feelings, therefore you are seeing her in a parental role. This can be simply because your T reminds you of your mum but it can also be a way to try and reinact the relationship of mother and child in order to fulfill some needs that you feel weren't fulfilled or as a way to somehow play out how you wish things had been for you.

It is really common for the theraputic relationship to feel very similar to a parent child relationship. I often see my T in the role of a substitute mother, or the mother I wish I had.

without thinking about what your T thinks or feels about it, how do you feel about it?

**huge hugs**

Well it doesn't really bother me because I wasn't even aware of it before she brought it up...

And yes, I think what you said about trying to get the needs met that weren't fulfilled before is what is happening...

So do I need to stop doing it??

Who here can tell you what you should or shouldn't do in your therapy.

I'm just looking for opinions...

Can you ask her what her plan is to help you emotionally mature?

If she treats you like a child you can definitely respond as a child (when a client is emotionally immature).

I personally would treat my client like an adult. People live up to or down to your expectations. You deserve to be treated like an adult IMO.

yea, I will ask her next time I see her.

Damnit, I forgot to ask her! Does anyone else know how I can stop this or try to change it??

Give me a break!!!!!!!!

I can understand forgetting to ask something like that because it is complicated, and difficult and you might be uncomfortable with her answers. It could mean a lot of work to change what you are comfortable with and change is not easy especially for the likes of us. I don't think we forget on purpose. I think our minds like to push aside stuff that's hard. Hope you have a good day!

Whether regression is a tool or not, idk. But when I read about it a while back, and asked my T what it meant, she said regression is being able to respond as a child in that children have fewer defenses and respond more honestly and openly.

I think that many of us associate many feelings as being only acceptable for a child to have, and when getting in touch with those feelings we can feel as if we have shrunk into the child we feel like. It took a long time for me to be able to acknowledge that adults have needs for love, nurturing, being taken care of. My T is helping me see where some of those kinds of things can be available as an adult

?? What do you mean??

I think that you are afraid to go there.

For me, it would be to stop dressing like a teenage boy (baggy khaki cargo shorts, long sweater, cap and boots), dress more appropriately to my age and station (slacks, turtleneck, lipstick?!), and try to be more aware of how i'm speaking. The lipstick helps with that because it makes me so conscious of my mouth, that longlast stuff is very sticky. There are books and tapes on how to speak better, how to present yorself better. This IS something I am working on.

Hi PTSDlovemycats

Kind of new here but just adding some thoughts...

I suspect that I do this too...alot....(Well I know I very often feel and I think act very small and I think just going to my appt seems to trigger this). I'm guessing that the word for this is regression. Although in my case there's a lot of dissociation thrown in the mix (Sorry, since I'm new I don't know of this applies to you also or not).

I think there could be a hundred reasons why this happens and I'm sure it's all very individual based on different circumstances.

Have you asked your T, or has your T offered any insight on the reasons why she thinks this happens to you? I suspect that it's very individual based on a person's history and dynamics. In my case it seems like my T works with it and doesn't attempt to discourage it unless I need to come back to a more adult place for safety reasons (driving, ect.).

I bet the best insight you can get would be from your therapist, on this subject. Good luck in working on this

Thanks Hankster

Thanks ClemintineK

I didn't avoid asking her. We were discussing a lot of other issues when I saw her. I still plan on aksing her though.