[vanessaG]

I just got done with my appt. I'm so damn frustrated and I feel like crying. Couldn't see him last week because appt times were messed up.

Told him about this toxic guy I have been hanging out with over the weekend. All he said was get rid of him, and find a decent man and that will get rid of your depression.!! I think he could tell I was irritated and I was so I spoke up to him more than I have in the past. I questioned if that was even healthy and I want to be happy 1st w/o a man. His anwser? No one is really happy outside a relationship! Hmmmm

Then I asked him how long he sees me in therapy. He said some take months some years, I asked am I one of those that may be years... He says maybe.
Only 20 min in session I said I don't know what to talk about and he said ok let's end I'll see you Friday! I said really that's it?! He said you have nothing to talk about & I told him I'm having a hard time opening up. I need him to ask me questions and he asked some superficial question about my dad.

I asked him how therapy is supposed to work, to just talk about day 2 day issues and he said yeah, and deep issues too. I said we haven't gotten into deep issues. He just told me yes we have, your ex (1 session). I wanted to say I need like 5 sessions for that. He can't even get his name right!

I left feeling so irritated and I know he could tell. I'm going to write him a mssg on his Facebook cause I don't have his email. He will probably terminate me but I don't care.

He ended my session 10 min early. I feel like he's only in it for the $$!! We don't talk about real issues at all & when I get the guts to bring it up, he comes up with some quick a hole solution and that's the end of that. Wtf am I paying for.

This sucks cause I was unsure o him at first but gave it a chance. It's clear he doesn't give a f***. Now I have to find a new one and start all over. What a waste. I really just want to cuss him out but I won't.

I know some replies will probably be make a list of your issues so u can discuss in session, even if I did we don't go in DEPTH about it. It's like chit chat about it 10 minutes and that's resolved! No.

Ugh god I'm so angry, frustrated, sad. This just sucks. I was hoping for so much more....

[skysblue]

I'm sorry to say this but your T sucks. When I tell my T that I'm 'blank' and have nothing to say, she responds by saying 'good'. She loves it when I come in with 'nothing'. She then is able to lead me right where we're supposed to be. That your T ends a session early shows that he's incompetent and lazy. Time to dump him.

[unaluna]

He's some kind of weird game-player, or he thinks he's being funny. I hate people who think they're being funny! Ha ha. "Okay let's end" after 20 minutes? Maybe he had to go to the bathroom. Which is okay, but he did not handle the situation very well. I'm not trying to be funny, maybe he has issues. And it's MEN who are happier in relationships, not women! The "order" of happiness is married men, single women, married women, single men. So WTF?

[onlymedid]

I would be upset too. If I don't have something to talk about, then my T comes up with something and then we talk.
I don't think your T is very good. I would try to find another.

[tryingtobeme]

You need to get rid of this T so bad IMO. This is not right. If you are not sure what to talk about then T should be able to help you get onto a subject. Usually those are the best sessions I have had with T. It sounds like a list of issues would be useless. I would go for one more session and tell T then that you are not coming back and end it.

[harvest moon]

Time to dump him with no second thoughts! Therapy isn't supposed to be this way at all! You deserve someone way better! Let us know how it went!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by vanessaG

I just got done with my appt. I'm so damn frustrated and I feel like crying. Couldn't see him last week because appt times were messed up.

Told him about this toxic guy I have been hanging out with over the weekend. All he said was get rid of him, and find a decent man and that will get rid of your depression.!! I think he could tell I was irritated and I was so I spoke up to him more than I have in the past. I questioned if that was even healthy and I want to be happy 1st w/o a man. His anwser? No one is really happy outside a relationship! Hmmmm

Then I asked him how long he sees me in therapy. He said some take months some years, I asked am I one of those that may be years... He says maybe.
Only 20 min in session I said I don't know what to talk about and he said ok let's end I'll see you Friday! I said really that's it?! He said you have nothing to talk about & I told him I'm having a hard time opening up. I need him to ask me questions and he asked some superficial question about my dad.

I asked him how therapy is supposed to work, to just talk about day 2 day issues and he said yeah, and deep issues too. I said we haven't gotten into deep issues. He just told me yes we have, your ex (1 session). I wanted to say I need like 5 sessions for that. He can't even get his name right!

I left feeling so irritated and I know he could tell. I'm going to write him a mssg on his Facebook cause I don't have his email. He will probably terminate me but I don't care.

He ended my session 10 min early. I feel like he's only in it for the $$!! We don't talk about real issues at all & when I get the guts to bring it up, he comes up with some quick a hole solution and that's the end of that. Wtf am I paying for.

This sucks cause I was unsure o him at first but gave it a chance. It's clear he doesn't give a f***. Now I have to find a new one and start all over. What a waste. I really just want to cuss him out but I won't.

I know some replies will probably be make a list of your issues so u can discuss in session, even if I did we don't go in DEPTH about it. It's like chit chat about it 10 minutes and that's resolved! No.

Ugh god I'm so angry, frustrated, sad. This just sucks. I was hoping for so much more....

Hmmmm is right.

[Perna]

You are the one talking and determining what are "real" issues in your life. Stating you don't know what to talk about twenty minutes into the session doesn't strike me as knowing or wanting to talk about your issues.

You described the guy you were hanging with as "toxic"; I don't know what the issue is there? Why are you hanging with a toxic guy? You are in control of your life, not a T, they can't make you do anything, literally cannot do anything for you. If you make a statement like, "I was hanging out with this toxic guy I should not have been hanging out with" what do you want another person to say? The only response is, "then don't hang with that guy".

Why make it more complicated? I understand the thinking, "you don't understand, it's more complicated than that" but if that is so, talk about that? But look at the situation; you are not forced to hang out with anyone, it is easy and cheap to quit seeing your T at this time, but I would want to look at such a situation that is so open and shut. Either it is, or it isn't. If it isn't, what is the argument that it isn't, where are the "facts", not the feelings, the facts.

When you say, "I don't know what to talk about", your T takes you at your word! Were you lying? It's your therapy, you are the one coming to see him; if you do not have something you want to talk about, don't know yourself, what can he do about that?

You asked him to ask you questions and then criticized what he asked, implied he should have asked these other question over here. How is he supposed to know any of that? He asked what interested him, what he thought was important, what he wanted to know more about or thought would be a good direction for you to explore. You didn't like it. Okay. Where is he supposed to go with that? He's not interested in playing Twenty Questions with you and you do not seem to be helping him in any way help you; you merely stone-wall or don't like what he says or does, do not take responsibility for yourself and what you want in any way.

He does sound abrupt but that would make me curious; he's not in a vacuum so his abruptness is a response to me. What could I be saying or doing that would cause another to be abrupt? Exactly what is he being abrupt about?

Maybe he has a toxic brother or son or was himself once described as toxic by a girlfriend's friends or father. Maybe the girl dropped him as a result. Or maybe he hurt someone and wishes he'd been dropped. Or maybe a spade is just a spade and if you are complaining about toxic people, he can only say, "drop the toxic person"; were you hoping he would tell you how to "get along with" toxic guy? How to stay sane in a toxic environment? I suppose that is possible, for awhile, but it works much better if you stay away from the toxic environment.

I find it interesting he asked questions about your father and you were thinking your ex- was "deep"; all these men; hello, father was the first male we had a relationship with! If you had troubles with your ex- are courting trouble because you are hanging around toxic guy, maybe talking about your father in depth would help some? If not, why didn't you think a moment or two and decide to talk more about ex-? Your T thinks ex- is "deep", what do you think? It's your therapy!

I don't think another therapist, no matter how "nice" and less abrupt will be much "better"? More comfortable maybe, but that can be a double-edged sword; my couch is so comfortable I'm going over there now to become a couch potato. Perhaps if I'd bought an harder, itchy, more formal one I'd be forced to "do" something else that would be more healthy or satisfying in the end.

I wouldn't be okay with therapy to be this way either... as for 'let's end' 20 minutes into the session?! If my T said that to me I'd be furious. Even if he was joking I wouldn't find that funny. Sometimes we 'don't know what to talk about' because we don't know where to start, but it doesn't sound like he's encouraging you to open up. From what you say, he just doesn't seem like he is being understanding and supportive of you... or that he can be bothered at all! Hope you can find a T that will be