[kaliope]

.........................................

[roadtrip]

Didn't read it but you probably are not the only one though it may feel like it.

[Joanna_says]

I didn't get to read it either. But I can't imagine that you are the only one. And even though 34 people might have read it... maybe those 34 just did not happen to be one of those that can relate and number 35 would have been...
Or maybe they were just not as brave as you admitting it... or did not find the right words.

The latter is one that happens to me a lot here. I would like to say or share something or comfort other people. But I am so afraid my words could come out wrong or sound so weird or think that other people just do a much better job than I ever could so I just keep silent.

Sometimes things just need time... even getting a good response... and sometimes we just need to give this time to ourselves. But I understand how difficult that can feel when you are longing for some relief.

[Nelliecat]

(((((Kaliope)))))

I didn't read it either but I know how you feel. I would feel exactly the same. PM if you want

Nelliecat

[WikidPissah]

I doubt you are the only one. I have very bleak dark times and thoughts, I have a lot of secretive bad habits.

[FourRedheads]

PM me if you want to talk.

Some people who read posts are not necessarily registered. I've been lurking on this site for quite a while getting vicarious support. I didn't realize until today that it might hurt people's feelings to know that the posts are read, but not replied to. So, I apologize if I've contributed to anyone's hurt feelings.

[pbutton]

I didn't see it, but I'm sure you're not the only one.

[rainbow8]

I'm not sure if I read it. I may have but didn't know what to say. I know how it feels to see the views and not so many replies. I feel rejected. But, you've gotten some good feedback already. Many people aren't registered so can't reply! Others don't know what to say.

Please try and post again!! You are NOT the only one, whatever it is.

Example: I got 60 views on my new thread but only 1 reply. Not even hugs. It doesn't mean no one cares. People read the threads, like I do, and reply to some. Then life happens! Like I gotta go eat breakfast now!

[dinosaurs]

i read it but wasn't feeling safe enough to post at the time ( i hardly ever feel safe enough to post ). anyway just wanted to say that it's not a shameful or embarrasing thing to do (even though you may feel that way). it is simply a way of coping. i would definately talk to t about it. revealing shameful/embarrasing things to t and being accepted anyway can help aleviate those feelings and help improve self worth. plus t can help us identify why the world might be coming back at this point in time (ie help you identify stressors you may not be aware of). also if you would rather utilise different healthy coping strategies, t can help teach you alternative strategies.

i am not able to create imaginary worlds, partly because i'm not that creative - sounds like you are creative which is a brilliant strength to have. but i do remember reading here of others who have - you may like to do keyword searches in the forums to find what others have said in the past.

anyway - hope you can bring it up with your t - talking about it with t can help in so many ways.

[harvest moon]

I didn't read it, kaliope, but I can surely tell you that NO, you are not the only one! plz let us know how we can help you and comfort you...

[skysblue]

Please re-post what you wrote. There are usually 40 views to one response. Typical. We'd like to know why you might think you're the only one.

I didn't see this thread until you'd deleted what you wrote, either. (I'm on UK time!) I'd be interested to know what it was you wanted to say, I doubt you'd be on your own

[kaliope]

thanks for all the kind words everybody. i was just really embarrassed by my admission. it was a secret i have been keeping for 34 years and while it may not be a huge deal it is just something i am ashamed of, so i just couldnt keep it out there in the open any longer.

alright, i will be brave and post it again.

i have an imaginary world that i escape to. i created it when i was 14. in it i am a little girl. when i am doing well, the world goes away. i havent been there for about a year and a half, but the world has come back this last couple weeks. i will spend hours before going to sleep lost in my imaginary world. over the years, the cast of characters changes, but the theme is always the same. its the theme that i find shameful and embarrassing. i guess it can be best described as there is an abuser and a protector and i just play these different scenarios out over and over, year after year.

I have never told a soul about this world. I dont know why it has resurfaced because I have been doing so well lately. I have thought about being brave and telling T about it.

[skysblue]

Kaliope - oh please tell T. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I think your imaginary world is a wonderful way of dealing with what you must cope with. Thank you for sharing with us.

[Kacey2]

Kaliope,
Oh my gosh you are so not alone. I am a member of the fantasy club. I have had my own private world since I can remember. I have worked with t and unfortunately I have lost some of my magic world touch after so many therapy hours. Let me caution you to hold on to it. Some day you will try and it won't be available.

[Joanna_says]

I wish I had more time to write to you now... but I have to leave for group session.

But I just want to let you know that I used to have (and still have) imaginary worlds. And I don't only think about it before I go to bed.... a lot of times it plays along while I do my daily things. Like I live in 2 worlds at the same time. I used to do that as a kid to somehow make it through the day and I guess I still do it to comfort me.

[kaliope]

thanks for sharing kacey and joanna. i dont feel so weird anymore

No, you're not the only one at all! To me, fantasy beats reality most of the time I hope it's made you feel better to share. As my T would say, "Unpack it. Unload it." And please tell your T.

I do that too. I started doing that when I was little and every now and then I go to my imaginary world. You're not alone. Hugs.

Kaliope, I think I spent the majority of my childhood in a fantasy world. Rescuing or being rescued is huge in that world. I'm in my forties, and I still go there when really stressed.

And by way, thank you for letting me know that it's hurtful when people look and don't comment. I didn't know, and I'm sorry. You gave me the impetus to finally sign up after weeks of just lurking -- feeling like I didn't have anything to offer.

[Nelliecat]

Going to PM you. Sorry!! Just not feeling confident in myself and my replies at the moment

[harvest moon]

kaliope, you have nothing to be ashamed of! trust me! You can tell your T about it and you can discuss it in depth; what happened around this age that made you create a world parallel to the one we live in. I had also a fantasy world since the age of 3; you know when you turn on the lights at night and the inside of the room reflects to the windows? there was my fantasy world! the reflection on the windows! Still, I prefer to live lost in my thoughts and fantasies, in another era; I prefer the dreams I watch at night, to reality. So you see? Whoever has the need to escape this world, creates a defense mechanism, a safe place to go to. So there is nothing wrong with you and you are definitely NOT alone!!! Let us know how it went with your T and if you discussed it! Many hugs!

[karebear1]

Not only did I have my own little world that I lived in (and yes, sometimes even live in now...) but I also had my own little fantasy family and life. That family and world are probably the reason why I'm still here, they gave me what I didn't have in RL and helped me survive all the chaos in my life.

Did you have a fantasy family as well???

[Kacey2]

[quote=karebear1;2105314]Not only did I have my own little world that I lived in (and yes, sometimes even live in now...) but I also had my own little fantasy family and life. That family and world are probably the reason why I'm still here, they gave me what I didn't have in RL and helped me survive all the chaos in my life.

Did you have a fantasy family as well???[/quote

Oh yes..........my fantasy parents are wonderful and I have brothers and sisters too. My family also lives in the clouds and go on vacation to a tree house.