T doesn't like my husband

You ARE getting your sh#@ together. But not so you can push him to do the same. Just for YOU. Please know that my thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself, for your sake alone!

He actually does hit you?? Please, please be safe and take of yourself. Also, please know that the most dangerous time for abused women is when they actually leave or start legal proceedings. Please take care.

Eek! That is a bad relationship. You need to get out.

FANTASY:
H gets home to find all your stuff gone and a letter from your lawyer on the kitchen table. Also, no beer in the fridge.

Went to see pdoc today. The "plan" is for me to go to a 2-week outpatient day program every day while he goes to rehab. This way I'll be safe and he'll begin getting help.

Thanks for the concern. It really woke me up. It's so easy to have blinders on and think of the good times, but Saturday's escapade made me see how easily things could go from bad to worse. Granted, he fired the shotgun in the air this time, but how much does it take to fire it near/at someone.

Bub

I have a little expertise in this area. In the research that predicts lethality from prior domestic violence, using a weapon in this manner is considered very dangerous.

Please take good care. Anne

All i can say is, i'm apalled. That is very dangerous. You could have been hit by accident. Next time he msy not shoot into the air. Next time, he might shoot you or the dogs or himself. He shouldn't have a gun. You shouldn't be anywhere near him. He is as unstable and dangerous as they come. I praying you stay safe.

When I first started in therapy (1000 years ago ), I used to look at my T's response to things and think, "oh! so that's how I'm supposed to feel / react" . I find myself doing the same thing now. The fact that you were appalled and I was NOT appalled is ... appalling. I am working tonight and tomorrow to find a place for me to go to work on recovery from my issues and pray that he'll keep his word on work on the drinking and anger management issues. By the time I get back, I hope to be strong enough where if he doesn't keep his word, he'll have to pay the consequences.

In the meantime, he's working tonight and tomorrow so I'm safe. I promise. Please don't let me be a burden to you but I do appreciate all your support and comfort.

(((((((thanks and hugs)))))))
Bub

I'm really glad you're finding a place to go. The sooner the better. That's the most important thing.

Found a place to go that focuses on trauma, codepedency and eating disorders. I'm terrified, but know it's the best and safest place for me to get well. Working out the finances and hope to be there by next week.

Just remember, trust and fear cannot co-exist. If you are afraid of a person, you do not trust them not to hurt you in some way. If you are afraid of an activity (talking to T, for example) you do not engage in that activity, do not trust it or yourself to see you safe through it.