Finally said " I feel like I wanna quit "

Dec 02, 2011 at 11:19 PM

... It was in an email.. As writing is so much easier for me. Basically said I feel ( feelings are not facts) like T wants me to leave my W and I wasnt strong enough and would rather explore the unhealthy things that she fullfis other ways to have those needs met from others or within myself. And then I typed it ... I wanna quit...
I never though I'd write a post with WHAT HAVE I DONE in the text... But here I am.... So as I was proof reading ( typically the move before I delete it) I accidentally hit send ( damn I phone ) ... What if she says , good idea?
I don't want to quit I just want to be heard... Ugggghhh

granite1 · Dec 03, 2011 at 07:14 AM

you are allowed to feel like you want to quit.i feel like that just about every week.i doubt your T will hold you to it . i hope you will be able to talk about these feelings.it sounds like you feel your T just isnt getting it

Dec 03, 2011 at 07:33 AM

I hope your right granite... I am freakin out!!!!

granite1 · Dec 03, 2011 at 07:38 AM

maybe you could send her another e-mail saying you dont want to quit but want to be heard.i think that is a good place to start to deal with this

Dec 03, 2011 at 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

maybe you could send her another e-mail saying you dont want to quit but want to be heard

I sent another email basically saying that, mostly apologizing. What's done is done and now I have to " sit with it ". Uggg... I'm just going to breathe and try not to think about it, my freaking out isn't helping me any. I realize this doesn't seem like a big deal, but I don't typically stand up for myself or buck the system.

stopdog · Dec 03, 2011 at 08:56 AM

I have quit and gone back any number of times - does not seem to bother t. It never told me good idea or anything, just it was my decision and when I changed my mind, I went back without any trouble from the t. T may even be happy you "bucked the system" and stood up for yourself.

Dec 03, 2011 at 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I don't typically stand up for myself or buck the system.

I think Granite's suggestion to say that you don't want to quit, but rather to be heard is a great one. That is what you really want, that is what is truly standing up for yourself or "bucking the system".

Instead, quitting just seems like running away here. You want something from your T, but instead of sticking around and asking for it, you're giving up.

I wouldn't-- it sounds like you have much to learn. I wonder why you think your T "wants" you to leave your W-- usually T's are not in the business of wanting anything specific for you, except for you to be healthier. So that is probably projection on your part, and that would be a great topic for T.

Anne

Dec 06, 2011 at 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm

Instead, quitting just seems like running away here. You want something from your T, but instead of sticking around and asking for it, you're giving up.

I wouldn't-- it sounds like you have much to learn. I wonder why you think your T "wants" you to leave your W-- usually T's are not in the business of wanting anything specific for you, except for you to be healthier. So that is probably projection on your part, and that would be a great topic for T.

Anne

It's not projection... It's what she sees as healthy for me. In T's response she said that I have to know that things will not change because my W won't admit SHE has issues, like being controlling. So if my W won't change and I won't leave then there will always be bumps in the road. I don't know how to ask for what I need, and I do have a bunch to learn.

Dec 03, 2011 at 11:07 AM

I really feel for you. I want to quit all the time... I walk out of there convinced I'm never going back. Not that she did anything to hurt me, but I just can't handle it. But I force myself every week to go in there. With the old T, I wanted to go. So I don't know what the difference is. Although I had transference issues with the old T and he never challenged me.

It's okay, she won't tell you to quit... She'll probably ask you why you feel that way. Maybe you could write something else telling her why you said that...

SoupDragon · Dec 03, 2011 at 11:14 AM

I guess all I wanted to add is that if your T doesn't recognise your e-mail for what it was (i.e. as you say wanting to be heard), then sounds like it probably isn't the T for you anyway.

I too frequently want to quit - well continuously really, it is such a tough thing sticking with it - I too am curious why your T wants you to leave your W - has your T said that, or is that just what you think T wants you to do? Good luck. Soup

ECHOES · Dec 03, 2011 at 11:57 AM

I think that "I quit" is similar to sui ideation in that they both are statements quantifying the pain and confusion we are in. We don't know what else to do or say, and I think T's know that there is more to it and this is why they encourage us say more.

CantExplain · Dec 04, 2011 at 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I don't want to quit I just want to be heard... Ugggghhh

This is exactly how I feel about my group right now.

Dec 04, 2011 at 02:18 PM

I don't think T will tell you its a good idea to quit. I think she will help you process it and then you can talk about how you just need to be heard.

Samantha429 · Dec 06, 2011 at 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TryinToGetBy

I don't think T will tell you its a good idea to quit. I think she will help you process it and then you can talk about how you just need to be heard.

I have been seeing my T for over a year. Yesterday after a week of total frustration at lack of progress, I emailed my T and said that despite a terrible week I have decided to quit coming and see how things go for a while. He replied back good luck. They don't always beg you to come back.

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Finally said " I feel like I wanna quit "

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granite1 running with scissors Member Since Aug 2009 Location: in my head Posts: 15,961 (SuperPoster!) 14 4,685 hugs given	Dec 03, 2011 at 07:14 AM #2 you are allowed to feel like you want to quit.i feel like that just about every week.i doubt your T will hold you to it . i hope you will be able to talk about these feelings.it sounds like you feel your T just isnt getting it __________________ BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that
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anonymous112713 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 03, 2011 at 07:33 AM #3 I hope your right granite... I am freakin out!!!!
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granite1 running with scissors Member Since Aug 2009 Location: in my head Posts: 15,961 (SuperPoster!) 14 4,685 hugs given	Dec 03, 2011 at 07:38 AM #4 maybe you could send her another e-mail saying you dont want to quit but want to be heard.i think that is a good place to start to deal with this __________________ BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that
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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,758 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Dec 03, 2011 at 08:56 AM #6 I have quit and gone back any number of times - does not seem to bother t. It never told me good idea or anything, just it was my decision and when I changed my mind, I went back without any trouble from the t. T may even be happy you "bucked the system" and stood up for yourself.
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ECHOES Legendary Member Since Aug 2007 Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico Posts: 14,352 (SuperPoster!) 16 1,020 hugs given	Dec 03, 2011 at 11:57 AM #11 I think that "I quit" is similar to sui ideation in that they both are statements quantifying the pain and confusion we are in. We don't know what else to do or say, and I think T's know that there is more to it and this is why they encourage us say more.
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Anonymous32729 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 04, 2011 at 02:18 PM #13 I don't think T will tell you its a good idea to quit. I think she will help you process it and then you can talk about how you just need to be heard.
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