[Hope-Full]

I need some perspective please, from the psych central gurus here...

I have been in therapy on and off much of my adult life. I have worked with 5 different therapists including my current T. I have been with my current T for a year of twice weekly appointments.

I'm already an overly emotional person - I cry at commercials (happy or sad) TV shows (happy or sad) and just about every movie I watch, even if I've seen it dozens of times before.

In the last month or so, I seem to be on the verge of tears ALL the time. I mean, at least 3-4 times a day. Sometimes I'm at work and something hits my consciousness and I fight tears.

I used to be able to handle this. I used to be able to keep the tears at bay, at least until I got home, or got in the shower, or whatever. Now it takes all my power not to cry at work, and I spend much of my time at home in or on the verge of tears. It's VERY frustrating. I used to be in better control of my emotions, now I feel like my emotions are controlling me. Even this summer, when things were really bad, like really, really bad, I still wasn't this emotional.

Yes, we've been getting into deeper stuff the last month, but it is all stuff I've "discussed" with prior therapists, and I've never had this reaction before. What gives? Any ideas?

I got to be very tearful all the time, embarrassingly so. I would be crying uncontrollably several times a day - and it would take little or nothing to set me off. In my case it was part of the depression, and I found that going on an antidepressant helped me to function better and to keep my tears under control -- now I only cry when I'm really, really upset. And sometimes, even if I feel tears coming on, I can stop them -- that was impossible before, it was like opening a flood gate.

I've also found hypnosis/relaxation techniques to be very helpful in calming me down, and I've found since that I can be more analytical about things than I used to be, instead of having an emotional reaction... at least on a good day

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

I need some perspective please, from the psych central gurus here...

I have been in therapy on and off much of my adult life. I have worked with 5 different therapists including my current T. I have been with my current T for a year of twice weekly appointments.

I'm already an overly emotional person - I cry at commercials (happy or sad) TV shows (happy or sad) and just about every movie I watch, even if I've seen it dozens of times before.

In the last month or so, I seem to be on the verge of tears ALL the time. I mean, at least 3-4 times a day. Sometimes I'm at work and something hits my consciousness and I fight tears.

I used to be able to handle this. I used to be able to keep the tears at bay, at least until I got home, or got in the shower, or whatever. Now it takes all my power not to cry at work, and I spend much of my time at home in or on the verge of tears. It's VERY frustrating. I used to be in better control of my emotions, now I feel like my emotions are controlling me. Even this summer, when things were really bad, like really, really bad, I still wasn't this emotional.

Yes, we've been getting into deeper stuff the last month, but it is all stuff I've "discussed" with prior therapists, and I've never had this reaction before. What gives? Any ideas?

sorry only you can answer those questions for yourself because only you know what gives and why.

for me it sometimes takes me a bit of time to access my feelings. this is because I have dissociative disorders that prevent me from always being in touch with my feelings and reactions. Sometimes it depends upon the kinds of medications I am on also because some meds are formulated specifically for limiting reactions and feelings emotions, behaviors.

[Hope-Full]

I guess I kind of am stumped - I know that I *should* have the answer to this quandry, but I don't. Like the fact that my latest appointment with my T - I was on the verge of tears driving to and waiting for my time, but once I was in the room and we were talking, there were no tears, until we had like 10 minutes left, then the floodgates opened. This puzzles me and frustrates me. I know I'm depressed, but I've been depressed many times before, and for the last several months. I don't know that the depression has worsened, but my emotional outpouring sure has...

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

In the last month or so, I seem to be on the verge of tears ALL the time. I mean, at least 3-4 times a day. Sometimes I'm at work and something hits my consciousness and I fight tears.

To cry 3 or 4 times a day seems natural and healthy.

Yes, we've been getting into deeper stuff the last month, but it is all stuff I've "discussed" with prior therapists, and I've never had this reaction before. What gives? Any ideas?

It sounds like you're finally really feeling the emotions that go with the "deeper stuff". At least, that's been my experience. I've been doing a ton of crying the last few months - well, year, actually. T calls it working through stuff. It's one thing to intellectually know things and discuss them. It's a whole different story when you actually *feel* the emotions. Sometimes I don't even know WHAT I'm crying about. That's why I see T. We need to feel the emotions, let them out, experience them, in order to heal. It sounds positive to me, like you're making progress! I wouldn't fight the tears, let them come - they won't last forever!!!

Originally Posted by CantExplain

To cry 3 or 4 times a day seems natural and healthy.

I don't know about that. Someone crying 3-4 times a day is excessive. That shows someone who is severely distressed about something.

I read somewhere that the average man cries once a month and the average woman cries about 5-6 times a month.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

To cry 3 or 4 times a day seems natural and healthy.

that may be so for you but for me that signals my medications not working and my bipolar disorder has entered its depression phase.

also people at many diffferent phases of their life age wise this would signal physical health problems, or other mental health problems.

how much crying for each person depends upon whats normal for that person. Since everyone has their own ways things affect them the amount of crying can be normal or not normal.

my suggestion to the original poster contact your treatment providers they will be able to diagnose whether what you are going through is normal or not and will know how to treat it if its not normal for you to go through what you posted.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by so80

I read somewhere that the average man cries once a month and the average woman cries about 5-6 times a month.

This is just my opinion...

Western society takes away our ability to cry, but not our need to cry. Hence the average person doesn't cry nearly enough.

[alwaysrejoice]

I was at that point a couple times when I just couldn't control it. I would cry in the store buying TP or whatever, lol. This most recent time I did realize it was because I was learning things about myself especially my past and my family that I had been ignoring forever. Maybe you are making a breakthrough of some sort you just can't realize it now.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

This is just my opinion...

Western society takes away our ability to cry, but not our need to cry. Hence the average person doesn't cry nearly enough.

I think for men yes. I think a lot of men resist crying as it's looked down upon as weakness.

There's also biological reasons why men cry less. Did you know female to male transsexuals report crying much less once they gone under transformation with male hormones? Testosterone makes men cry less. Females with high testosterone report crying less. So it is partly biological.

I still think 3-4 times everyday is excessive and anybody crying that much has something wrong with them. Most likely depression.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by so80

I think for men yes. I think a lot of men resist crying as it's looked down upon as weakness.

There's also biological reasons why men cry less. Did you know female to male transsexuals report crying much less once they gone under transformation with male hormones? Testosterone makes men cry less. Females with high testosterone report crying less. So it is partly biological.

I still think 3-4 times everyday is excessive and anybody crying that much has something wrong with them. Most likely depression.

OK. You do cry "more than average". Something is wrong.

Where do you go from here?

[Hope-Full]

Thanks for all the responses everyone. Crying is linked to shame, shame sucks, etc etc. Working on it, I suppose, but still wishing the tears weren't so intense!

It sounds like you're finally really feeling the emotions that go with the "deeper stuff". At least, that's been my experience. I've been doing a ton of crying the last few months - well, year, actually. T calls it working through stuff. It's one thing to intellectually know things and discuss them. It's a whole different story when you actually *feel* the emotions. Sometimes I don't even know WHAT I'm crying about. That's why I see T. We need to feel the emotions, let them out, experience them, in order to heal.

I think you have hit on something TheBunnyWithin - logically working through stuff is one thing, but it's the emotional part, the feelings, that are so new to me. And yes, I get frustrated that in the middle of a perfectly good day, I can burst into tears and not know why.

It's interesting you bring up meds amandalouise - I just saw my pdoc and my dr within the last two weeks, and we really did not and are not making any med adjustments since that always impacts my appetite. Dealing with an ED right now, we can't play with the appetite yet. T will be getting an earful next appointment, though, that's for sure.

I completely agree with the social stigma of tears CantExplain - Western society takes away the appropriateness of a lot of emotional/feeling things - such as friendly hugs, holding hands, etc.

Alwaysrejoice - yes, this is stuff I've not only ignored forever, but when I have talked about it, I've made it light and fluffy. Not this time...

I think, too, that this time of year triggers my depression even worse... and yes, my depression is pretty bad right now. It doesn't help that there are lot of things happening in my life that are constant reminders of things that I do not have or try to avoid. Add to that the cold weather in the mid-west and the lack of sun... guess I should just go invest in kleenex stock...

Originally Posted by CantExplain

OK. You do cry "more than average". Something is wrong.

Where do you go from here?

Someone crying way more then average for no apparent reason, then that person needs some help. Could well be depression. Obviously if something tragic happens like a family member dying, then you can understand they being excessive crying.

If it's happening for no reason though then somethings off.