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#1
Dec 09, 2011, 06:18 AM
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Horrific week with T. Going to need every scrap of bravery i can find to survive the discussion she has decided we'll have today. Worst fear is feeling so destroyed by the end that I physically cannot stand and leave.
It's at 2pm UK time, 2.5 hours from now. Please, come with me if you can |
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#2
Dec 09, 2011, 06:33 AM
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I'm with you!
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#3
Dec 09, 2011, 06:35 AM
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With you. Btw, you don't have to have the discussion your T decided if you don't feel ready. My T is very sensitive to my ability to manage my emotions and would never insist on a topic if it were to be too tough for me. You DO have a choice.
Good luck. |
 sittingatwatersedge
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#4
Dec 09, 2011, 06:48 AM
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Absolutely, I'll be there
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#5
Dec 09, 2011, 08:20 AM
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Thinking of you!
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#6
Dec 09, 2011, 09:17 AM
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i'm in.be brave
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#7
Dec 09, 2011, 09:21 AM
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You may be already at your session, but I'm there with you....supporting you every step of the way....((( HUGS )))
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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#8
Dec 09, 2011, 10:48 AM
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Count me in too!
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#9
Dec 09, 2011, 11:53 AM
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Thank you so much, lovely people of PC. I survived- in fact, managed better than I could ever have imagined- and it was so wonderful to read your responses in the waiting room and know that you were all with me.
Sky, I appreciate the reminder that I am in control of my therapy. Unfortunately, today was about T wanting to change our contact, so there wasn't much choice. She threw it at me on Tuesday and I've had it weighing down on me all week. I've really struggled, and couldn't get out of bed for 48 hours, which is a problem I thought was long past me. But somewhere inside I found wise mind and a massive dose of radical acceptance and thought the whole thing through. I over-prepared, making myself a list of what to do (e.g. Step 1: sit down... I literally ticked it off as I sat down!). I made lists of what was very important to me in terms of contact, and what was less important. I had a list of statements to remember if I got too desperate. I really explored the problem from T's point of view, and considered what would make it better for her. Best of all, I went in there with a note to myself which said: She is changing things because her situation and capacity have changed. This is not your fault. You are doing fantastically well and have changed so much. It doesn't matter if she sees you, because *I* see you, and I know. Whenever T has tried to suggest any changes before, I have been overwhelmed with shame and blame and completely unable to problem solve. Today, I problem solved my *** off  I was calm and considerate and grown up. T is not herself- she seemed distressed today. She is far away and I am frightened and I miss her so much. But mostly, I am super proud. I found the healthy adult inside me and she took charge and looked after me. And now we're done, there's a part of me that wants to jump up and down and say to T "Wow, did you see that? Did you? Wasn't that amazing?" But I'm not going to. Because *I* saw. And I know it *was* amazing. And that's what matters most. |
 WePow
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| BonnieJean, FooZe, FourRedheads, googley, pachyderm, pbutton, rainbow8, rainbow_rose, sittingatwatersedge, WePow
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#10
Dec 09, 2011, 01:39 PM
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Lovely! Excellent! Wonderful!
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#11
Dec 09, 2011, 02:03 PM
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w.o.w.
wish i'd been there wonderful roadrunner |
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#12
Dec 09, 2011, 02:39 PM
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Sounds like you did so well in a hard situation. Congrats!
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#13
Dec 09, 2011, 02:43 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| pachyderm, pbutton
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#14
Dec 09, 2011, 02:44 PM
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I'm definitely with you... I think I'm a little late on the time thing here, but I hope it went well... or does if you haven't been yet.... GOOD LUCK!!!!
__________________
Don't ever depend on other people to make something of your life... that's your job and yours alone... |
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#15
Dec 09, 2011, 10:01 PM
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i'm too late to go with but you did awesome! it was amazing!
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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#16
Dec 10, 2011, 07:03 PM
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You did an AMAZING job with this!!!! WOW!!!! What you have given yourself is something noone can ever take away!!!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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