[SoupDragon]

Tonight is the first weekly session I have not had with my T for about 18 months and it feels a little strange. I couldn't settle at one point this afternoon and when I checked the time, it was the time that I would be getting ready to leave to see T.

And typically, my work situation is really kicking off and I am in a major dispute with my manager. I am trying to think it through clearly, but am struggling - would have been soooo useful to have seen T today to discuss it.

But still I tell myself I survived 44 years without ever stepping inside a T's office before, so there is a part of me that knows how to do something resembling life without the support of T. So I am sure I will be fine.

But then I worry, if I am fine for these 3 weeks, how do I get myself back into the whole T thing? I had got used to not having that money in my pocket, but what if I do survive this time, will I want to re-engage with T or enjoy that extra money every month?

I am not sure why I am writing this - maybe just seeking to connect somewhere in the absence of T.

SoupDragon, don't have any stellar advice or anything, but I think whether you want to reconnect after this will probably have more to do with what, if anything, you think you need to make progress on after this break. I am confident that you will deal with any issues that arise because you are brave and take the time to think things through (at least that's my impression of you from your posts in this forum).

[SoupDragon]

Thanks MyKidsAreCool - I guess there was an initial reason why I made contact with T in the first place, so I am capable of knowing when I need some help aren't I? Maybe this is going to be an interesting time for me, maybe I will gain some confidence in being able to cope without T, or indeed knowing that I need to go back.

And thanks for the feedback re: bravery Soup