She said she couldn't work with somebody who didn't feel safe with the therapy she gave. I've been doing EMDR with her, and it has left me in complete shambles. I told her I couldn't continue it on an outpatient basis and she told me she couldn't force me. So we terminated.

I've been with her only since September, so I wasn't really attached to her or anything. I have a team to keep me accountable. It was just as soon as I walked in there all my alters wanted to talk at once. Because she didn't judge the d/o like every other treatment provider I have does. It landed in me being very sick, all the time. All of us being very sick.

I don't really feel anything about it. I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for this from my team, but honestly I did what was best for my entire system. I offered to do the therapy in a trauma unit, so I was safe at first (it gets worse before it gets better). They denied the offer.

She let me out early to write a termination letter to them. It would be a mistake for her to tell them I didn't want therapy. I do want therapy. It's me ending up dead that I do not want.

[rockymtngal]

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I think you should be proud of yourself. You have made a decision that is in your best interest-you are willing to do the work and take the hard times that come with it-but you need a stronger "container" in which to be held. That sounds completely reasonable to me.

I'm glad this is happening now and not a year or more from now when the attachment issues may be stronger.

I've gone through the EMDR bit and I found it to be messy too when I didn't have the support I need.

I'm looking forward to the time when you find the right person to help you through this. Congratulations to you for recognizing what you need and standing up for yourself!

[WePow]

Wow. Boy do I understand! DID with EMDR can be so difficult!!!! My T and I are having to really work on things and it takes a TON of being able to find ways to keep the trust. It is the hardest part of all!!!! BIG hugs to you!