Dec 30, 2011, 04:38 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,354
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
A recent poster said
>> ... Are you in therapy because you want to be or because someone's making you go? If no one's making you go and you're doing this on your own hook, well, assumedly you're going because you think you need it and want it. If so, why fight it?
My $0.02, maybe just because it's so weird. So outside all other experiences in life. So that it's impossible to just jump in there. I have been here quite often. I agree, and I think that it depends on the type of therapy a person is in. Some therapy types are more intimate than others, in my experience. Yes, I want to explore and learn about myself but this involves a journey into areas that are difficult and not always too pretty. It is an intimate journey, and it's human nature to not go around fully exposed.
>>Why not cooperate? The therapist isn't an enemy
really? OK, I know that, but it an sure feel like it sometimes. I don't think natural resistance is being uncooperative. It would be like calling a shy person socially uncooperative; some things just take time. Valuable things take time and effort.
>> she's a hired hand! Hired by you!
That's where the weirdness comes in... In my life, "hired hands" do innocuous things, like vacuuming, or lawn work; I've never had one that knew every one of my deepest darkest secrets, or who would insist on confronting me with my aberrations & inconsistencies, & play back to me the wounds & fears that cause them...She is hired by me to help me do difficult things. She is hired by me because of her expertise, her education, her experience; we meet on her turf and she guides the therapy process, even if she is non-directive. A surgeon is hired by me but that doesn't mean we naturally have an intimate relationship or that I would tell the surgeon how and where to cut. 
>> To help you achieve whatever goals you've set for yourself. Have you told her of those goals? Have you discussed them with her? Have you heard whatever advice she has to give on how to reach those goals? Why beat around the bush? Why not just jump in and get to work?
The person who wrote this is compassionate and intelligent, and would never knowingly hurt someone here, but actually this can come across as "Just snap out of it!"
It doesn't work that way. Everyone's journey is different; the path is long and hard, and not everyone is in the same place on that path.Again, I think this sounds like a question that someone in a specific kind of therapy might wonder. I am discovering goals as I progress in therapy, and the work I do frees up energy to think about goals and helps me feel competent to make dreams reality.
>> ......... here I am as an old man, back in therapy doing what I should have done thirty-five years ago.
 Carl Jung, writing about coming to terms with one's shadow self, said that some things can only be addressed when one reaches middle age or later... before that, he said, there is too much noise; we are busy growing up, going to school, seeing the world, getting into a career, starting a family, making a name for ourselves, whatever..... then later on when these tasks are done, there's time (and wisdom & maturity born of age) to look at what you can do in therapy. I wouldn't be surprised if he said somewhere that it might not be possible for some therapy work to be done at age thirty....I completely agree. We can only be 'where we are' and begin from that place. That isn't to say that I wish I could have done this earlier in my life.
>> Don't blow it the way I did.
The person whose post I have quoted from here is far, far from blowing it; in fact has made some huge strides recently that take my breath away. I am only 60, so it seems I have 6 more yrs of work till I get to the place where he is now; I plan to work hard, but can hardly wait.  |
Time passes, experiences come and go, but until we get to where we need to be, we are still working on it. Taking time is unfortunate, but doesn't constitute blowing it. I too look forward to a lot more learning and growing.
I'm just so thankful to have my therapist and my therapy experience.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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