[pbutton]

You may recall some of my griping that T scheduled me 5 weeks between sessions.

About a week ago he responded to my email and told me he had emergency appointments available, I just needed to ask. I didn't respond because by then I'd already frothed up into a big pool of I DONT WANNA GO SEE YOU. Plus I felt like a moron for sending him such stupid angry/whiny emails.

Today I find an email from him telling me he has an opening next week.

My gut reaction is to write back, tell him no thanks, and to also cancel the session we have scheduled in 3 weeks. I'm not sure what good that would do me, but on some level I'd find it satisfying.

So far I've managed to refrain from writing back. But I feel like a jerk for that since he probably needs to assign that slot to someone else. Or maybe he's not even holding it for me, I don't know.

I totally get hating to ask. I hope you are able to decide what you really need and make sure you get it.

[Nelliecat]

(((((pbutton)))))

I really understand the stubborn, not wanting to call back stuff. I get like that too. But who would it hurt if you didn't take that session? Go on, call back and say yes.

[pbutton]

I just can't get over the fact that he's being nice, he sent me a mostly unsolicited email and all I want to do is be as mean as I possibly can in response. I guess it's good that I am now able to identify my behavior instead of just reacting. I think that's a recent improvement.

pbutton... if you need to go then go, he has a spot and you have a need...if you don't go someone will...I imagine filling in an open spot at a T's office is not hard, i'd take everyone T had if she would let me. I hope you choose to do what's best for you.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by Nelliecat

But who would it hurt if you didn't take that session?

i keep trying to tell myself this. I don't want to hurt pbutton, right?

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

pbutton... if you need to go then go, he has a spot and you have a need...

Aha! the problem is that I keep trying to tell myself that I DON'T have a need. This very thread likely indicates otherwise...

Let us know how it goes, I wish I had T today

[pbutton]

I wrote back and told T what was going on and said if the appt was still available I'd take it.

go me. woot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDgweith34tjk;'elkjbxedyh5s4w

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I wrote back and told T what was going on and said if the appt was still available I'd take it.

go me. woot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDgweith34tjk;'elkjbxedyh5s4w

Yes. Go you.

[pbutton]

Ok, he wrote back to confirm. i'm now going to see T next week. I am horribly embarrassed by every email I've sent him since I saw him last. should be a real rip roaring great time. barf.

[pbutton]

I am kind of amused that I told him this though:

Not only can I not reach out for help, I'd apparently also like to try to kick you in the shins for offering. Nice.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I am kind of amused that I told him this though:

I think ts enjoy this sort of ambivilence. It gives them something concrete to focus on. I am fairly certain it will be okay.

[unaluna]

The Queen is also amused.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I wrote back and told T what was going on and said if the appt was still available I'd take it.

go me. woot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDgweith34tjk;'elkjbxedyh5s4w

I love the fake enthusiasm. I feel a bit like this too.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I wrote back and told T what was going on and said if the appt was still available I'd take it.

go me. woot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDgweith34tjk;'elkjbxedyh5s4w

Way to go, Pbutton! I know how hard stubborn can be...

Bluemountains

[Nelliecat]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I am kind of amused that I told him this though:

Hahahah That cracked me up!

[skeksi]

Not only can I not reach out for help, I'd apparently also like to try to kick you in the shins for offering. Nice.

Oh, pbutton, I so get you on this! I told my T once in frustration, you are too nice and it makes me angry! It spurred some really interesting conversations between us.

I'm glad you took the appointment (and gladder still that he offered it). I hope it is productive.

[pbutton]

Yeah, 7 hours later and i'm finally appreciating how nice it was of him to offer me the appointment. I'm pretty sure I need to work on that reaction time.

Originally Posted by pbutton

Yeah, 7 hours later and i'm finally appreciating how nice it was of him to offer me the appointment. I'm pretty sure I need to work on that reaction time.

I think that 7 hours is really not so long. I've sometimes told my T "thank you" for something weeks later.

I think that those of us who have had people be not so nice to us as we were growing up have not learned how to recognize niceness, respect, etc. So we're a bit slow on the uptake-- like creatures who were raised in captivity have to be shown how to hunt rather than play with their prey. Natural instincts can be overridden by how you get raised.


Anne