[greenfairy]

i've been seeing a pdoc for a little while. mostly we discuss my meds, physical symptoms i'm experiencing (rapid heart beat or stomach problems for example that are caused by my panic attacks), or my fears concerning my health, which is bad but probably because i dont take care of myself. recently started seeing a therapist as well. sort of keeping it to myself for the time being because my husband thinks its a huge waste of time and my parents dont think theres anything psychologically wrong with me. any way, finally got around to discussing flashbacks and triggers and some of the events of my past and its something i was putting off but i felt like i needed to get it out, like its been choking me. and at first i felt relieved. but then i started falling into a depression. it crept up on me gradually but then it was just so intense, and still is. everything is making me cry. i feel ill (i am actually sick right now, but its a different kind of feeling) and i am just panicky and nervous and angry and confused. i just dont know what happened. for a few hours i was ok, even proud of myself for taking this step that i thought was in the right direction. but its just been a downward spiral. i dont know who to talk to about it, lately the people in my life just dont want to hear it. ok. not just lately, but generally speaking if i'm down everyone starts running in the opposite direction. is this going to go away or get better? its like a therapy hangover and i feel like i never want to go again.

Your "therapy hangover" is normal. That is what therapy is supposed to do- shake things up. make you feel things that you have been avoiding letting yourself feel so that you can "process" or "deal" with t he situations and therapists call it. Basically. People get therapy for a problem- they pay a professional to listen to them and make them think about the situation from all angles so that the person can solve their own problems and make themselves feel better by not being so upset by them. Weird I know to feel better sometimes the person has to feel worse. The reason they feel worse is because the person is no longer shutting off their feelings. Instead of shutting out and off the person who is in therapy is learning different ways to take care of ther problems other than shutting out and off. Bottom line you are supposed to feel.

[pegasus]

greenfairy,
Hang in there!

Therapy is hard work. And you are dealing with psychological pain,its going to hurt, but it gradually gets better.

I have been having therapy for a long time. It is a learning process and can be tough going but it is definately worth sticking with.

Big hug to you!
I know how painful it is.

Thinking of you.

[greenfairy]

just wanted to say thank you both for responding.
i was seriously considering cancelling my next appointment. i've been feeling down all day, panicky and emotional, and it scared me that this decision to see a t was making things worse instead of better. called my pdoc and she suggested i might also need to up my meds. (started lexapro 5 mg and so this week i'm going to be taking 10 mg).
i'm going to stick with the therapy a while though and i'm hoping between the two, things just might get better.

[(JD)]

OH NO DON'T CANCEL! I'm glad you felt safe enough with T to begin to share... learning how to pace therapy sessions is something you will work on, along with T, so that you don't have such a "hangover" effect. Sometimes going too fast, covering too much in one session can leave us not wanting to go back, imo.

Make sure you discuss the feelings with your T, so she can help pace you, too. Changing your meds while doing therapy will also make things a bit tougher sometimes, imo.

Keep at it, you're headed in the right direction. (and don't listen to those who don't understand. If they understood in the first place, you might not have had to find someone else who would listen to you! (The t )

I find therapy sessions when things come up from the past nearly always cause a similar reaction in me to the one you describe. In fact, even the questionnaires I filled in for my psychology assessment this week have stirred things up and left me feeling confused and upset. I agree with those who say hang in there and try to tell your T next time how you felt. I'm going to try to do the same.

You're welcome and I agree with above. I think you should keep the appointment, but of course that is up to you. I know its hard to just let yourself go along with feeling things you dont like feeling. But it will get easier. sometimes I look back at what I used to think was really hard and I am amazed because what I went through then that I felt at the time was hard was mild compared to some of the things I have gone t hrough these past 5 years. Back then I used to think I will never make it. Now I think I made it through then so now I know I will come out on top now. Hang in there. .