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#1
Jan 11, 2012, 06:53 AM
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Lately there's been this option in my head. Normally I have positive fantasys around T where I am omnipotent and then there's the negative fantasy where she doesn't care BUT as I say this other option has crept into this thinking but having it or allowing it is akin to lifting a heavy weight with ones little finger only, and its telling myself that amongst all these thoughts there Is T and everything I can trust about her is there too, but I can't hold that thought foe too long, I can actually witness my own thinking fighting to get back to the idolised and the negative thinking and I asked myself why wouldn't I want this new real option? And its fear! Real fear to admit to myself that T is there, isn't going to reject me. Its like having a child locked in the attic running across the bare boards and I'm sitting underneath powerless to stop her pounding but now someones pointed out where the key is to the attic but to afraid to fully commit to dealing with her.
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 Anonymous32732, rainbow8
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#2
Jan 11, 2012, 12:12 PM
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I love your allegory about the child in the attic! It is so representative of your feelings, which I relate to! Thanks for sharing.
__________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
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#3
Jan 11, 2012, 12:40 PM
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Cat's out of the bag now
 you know it is there and it will get bigger. Sounds like great insight, earthmamma!
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#4
Jan 11, 2012, 12:44 PM
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Wow! :O Thanks for sharing this - I can really relate, so much! I don't know how I feel about that fact though.. so conflicted.
__________________
'I also hate people who ask cheerfully how you are when they know you're feeling like hell and expect you to say 'Fine.'' - Sylvia Plath  |
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#5
Jan 12, 2012, 05:43 AM
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Quote:
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#6
Jan 12, 2012, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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