to email or not to email

If you talk to T and the preferred method of communication is via voice mail message,

and then T gives you a business card and there's an email address on it,

and so you send a brief question via email

but two days later have no reply,

should you give up and leave a message? Is not getting an email reply a message in itself?

Sounds like T might not check their email? No, not getting an email reply, especially in an unknown/first email attempt can't tell you much. I'd discuss it with T next time you see them.

Because we're so computer savvy and use them all the time and have lots of accounts and do things doesn't mean the other people with computers and tech toys are. Everyone puts their email address on their business card but lots of individuals don't necessarily use them.

The possibilities for misunderstanding are huge; I have been puzzled and laughing the last couple weeks because someone keeps wanting me to join their Linked-In account and emails me at my "private" email (I have about 5-6 "active" email accounts), etc. and I own 3 websites and am very techie but I'm retired so no way I want a Linked-In account; I don't have that many business friends and it does not interest me at all! But what's worse, I'm not even sure who this person is! Obviously they really like me or something but. . .

You have to check with people first I think, set up paths to get to them and they, to you.

Just give him a call I think. He may not use his email often, or maybe just for business matters or something. Since calling has been the preferred method of communication, just give him a call. Then ask him about the email usage when you see him next.

My T has an email address listed on her 'webpage' but she tells me that is not a good way to contact her because she doesn't check her email regularly.

A really-involved, fully-booked T is going to be as busy as most CEOs of middle-sized companies. If s/he cites a "preferred" contact method, you can pretty much bet that's the only one personally checked.

So yes, I'd forget email & phone right away & leave voice mail. It's usually a good idea to take someone's hint. & when it comes to contacting people in today's business community, the fastest way to get through.

I'd call and leave a message... especially if it's important!

Definitely ask about the use of email for future reference, too! There must've been a reason you opted to make contact via email rather than calling, and even if your T doesn't always encourage emails, perhaps he could make allowances if you feel it would be beneficial to you in some circumstances!?

Let us know what you do and how it all goes (if you want to, of course)! Thinking of you and sending positive vibes!

Timing is everything.... I called the voice mail line to leave a message & she answered the phone and said that she had just answered my email message

There was a papaer I was supposed to bring her next time, and I found it , and was having huge second thoughts about maybe just burning it instead of showing it to anyone ever again so I wanted to email it to her before I could sabotage myself.

she was OK with my emailing it. Done. Now she has it.

If someone told me directly that they preferred that I contact them by phone-- which happens to me frequently outside the context of T-- I would contact them by phone. To do otherwise seems disrespectful to me. In the context of T, it seems kind of self-defeating, in that assuming you want an answer to your question before your next session, you're not going about getting what you want in such a way as to ensure you will actually get said answer. As others have suggested, it seems more likely that you'll get an answer if you call and leave a message.

Anne

edited to say, sorry, crossposted

Well done for being brave and taking action to avoid sabotaging yourself - that's SO good, SAWS! I could do with taking a leaf out of your book sometimes, for sure!

I'm loving this forum so far - it's really opening my eyes and alerting me to various things I have issues with. I can definitely see this helping my therapy/counselling process! Anyway, sorry for stealing your post - just got a little over-excited there, haha! :P

but when I called she answered the phone. If it was strictly a voice mail I will be fine with it (it's what I am used to) but when she goes live on the other end I could freak and not say all of what I needed to, etc.

I meant no disrespect by sending her an email. I will tell her so.

I understand why you'd want to email rather than call, I feel the same way. I'm more comfortable with email as it seems more casual - it doesn't demand immediate attention, I can think about what to write, and my T can reply (or not) at her leisure - whereas I always convince myself something isn't important enough to phone up about, because I don't like the idea of bothering T at an inconvenient time about something that could probably wait...

My. T doesn't mind emails but I also know I most likely will not get a response unless I ask for one and he may not read it for a day or two. But when I'm in crisis or really need to talk to him, he asks that I phone. He says its his responsibilty to have ringer off during inconvenient times and I can leave a voice message and he will call me back. He says phone calls are best because its easier for him to judge my state of being... That thought alone is enough for me not to call

the first couple of times I emailed my T, he was like, oh I didn't get them - I don't know if they went straight to his spam folder or if he just ignored them because he didn't recognize my email address. so that's another consideration - make a meaningful subject line if your addr is obscure, like "email from hankster-plz read". the only other person he knows named hankster is his stepmother (passed) - THAT was some painful transference! aside from being a weird name for a stepmom...