[rainbow_rose]

how do we hold on to the good feelings from therapy?

why do they slip away so easily?

how can we create them for ourselves?

any thoughts?

[shipping]

Sometimes I can hold on to good feelings from therapy--not always. Here are a couple of things I do. I have a transitional object--something I take with me to therapy (currently it is a lavender water bottle) and I hold it during therapy. Later, at home, I hold it again and try to remember what it felt like. Another trick is if your therapist says something helpful or nice about you, tell someone. If you have no one to tell, write it here on the forum. Then other people will know this nice thing your therapist said and they can remind and reinforce when you start to forget and feel down. Another way is to share a brief passage from a book that is meaningful to you; the therapist might ask you why you think it is meaningful. This can lead to good discussion which you can remember every time you read the passage at home or at work. Also, sometimes i have fantasies (like daydreams) that my therapist goes with me to run errands. I play really fun music and pretend my therapist is right there in the passenger seat, singing along with me and noticing how cleaver I might be. Final suggestion: I love to mix CD's. I make a mix specifically for my therapist. It could be on a theme, like, "groovy songs"; "songs that cheer me up" "songs for inspiration" and then give it to the therapist. Later you can visualize the therapist listening to it and what enjoyment he or she gets out of it; you can play a copy for yourself and picture how each song would affect your therapist. Those are some of my strategies for coping and sustaining through the time in between sessions. Good luck!

When I go to bed the night after a session, I try to remember a moment in therapy when I felt connected or cared for, and I replay it in my head until I fall asleep. It helps.

[rainbow8]

I hold on to the good feelings, or at least I try to, by starting threads in this forum, by emailing my T the same night or next morning about my session, and sometimes by emailing about my session to a couple friends who know about my therapy. Sometimes I write a poem about my feelings. I also think about the nice things my T said, or what I said, before I go to sleep.

I don't know why the good feelings slip away so easily. I was told it may be a borderline trait. I tend to think the feelings aren't real if I don't keep thinking or talking about them, or at least emailing my T about them. It's kind of an obsession.

How can we create the good feelings for ourselves? My T thinks mindfulness, yoga, and meditation are the answers to that question. You meant good feelings in our RL, didn't you? Doing something pleasurable each day, and helping someone each day. I went to yoga class today, and I did feel those good feelings. Participating in activities you enjoy creates good feelings. Exercising does too. For me, walking by a lake and going into the water do that too, but I can't do that in the winter.

Thank you for this thread, rainbow_rose. I'm looking forward to hearing how others answer your questions.

[stopdog]

If I ever have a good feeling from therapy, I will let you know.

It comes and goes at times, sometimes its not there in such an obvious way its there in a form of inner strenght we suddenly find we have.

[rainbow_rose]

my therapist shows such acceptance and compassion. maybe it's so hard to hold on to that 'cause it's not something i get anywhere else, least of all from within.

thanks all for your comments.

shipping, i really like the idea of creating a music mix. i couldn't give it to my therapist 'cause she doesn't accept gifts, but maybe it could be music that represents her, things she says and what not - inspiring songs. then i could at least tell her about it.

[rainbow8]

my therapist shows such acceptance and compassion. maybe it's so hard to hold on to that 'cause it's not something i get anywhere else, least of all from within.

rainbow_rose, I bolded what is the most important part I think. We need to accept and have compassion for ourselves. That is the key! Then we wouldn't need it from our Ts so much, and in my case, from others. My T always says to accept and have compassion for all of my parts. There are NO BAD parts!!

I have a lot of compassion and respect, as well as acceptance for YOU and the work you're doing in your therapy.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

shipping, i really like the idea of creating a music mix. i couldn't give it to my therapist 'cause she doesn't accept gifts, but maybe it could be music that represents her, things she says and what not - inspiring songs. then i could at least tell her about it.

perhaps you could listen to it together?

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by treehouse

When I go to bed the night after a session, I try to remember a moment in therapy when I felt connected or cared for, and I replay it in my head until I fall asleep. It helps.

I do that same thing.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

shipping, i really like the idea of creating a music mix. i couldn't give it to my therapist 'cause she doesn't accept gifts, but maybe it could be music that represents her, things she says and what not - inspiring songs. then i could at least tell her about it.

This is a really wild idea, but does anyone ever sing to their therapist?

[rainbow8]

CantExplain, YES, I did it! I sang to my T. I think it was in spring or summer I suddenly decided to sing a few of my favorite songs to her. I posted about it, of course. It was one of the highlights of my almost 2 years with my T. I'm very shy and never sang with to others until then, but I always wanted to. Singing for my T gave me the courage to sing in a group. I still can't believe I did it.

[Wren_]

shipping, i really like the idea of creating a music mix. i couldn't give it to my therapist 'cause she doesn't accept gifts, but maybe it could be music that represents her, things she says and what not - inspiring songs. then i could at least tell her about it.

i like that idea as well for something you could do ... things that remind you of her that could help you hang on to the good

[granite1]

i am the queen of lost good feelings.i cant seem to hold on to them at all.i love this thread thanks for starting it

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

This is a really wild idea, but does anyone ever sing to their therapist?

I'd never be that mean to my T.

[shipping]

Originally Posted by stopdog

If I ever have a good feeling from therapy, I will let you know.

That's an AWESOME answer!!

[shipping]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

my therapist shows such acceptance and compassion. maybe it's so hard to hold on to that 'cause it's not something i get anywhere else, least of all from within.

thanks all for your comments.

shipping, i really like the idea of creating a music mix. i couldn't give it to my therapist 'cause she doesn't accept gifts, but maybe it could be music that represents her, things she says and what not - inspiring songs. then i could at least tell her about it.

Thank you for telling me that the music mix method pleased you and gave you ideas! That makes me very happy!!

[shipping]

Originally Posted by stopdog

perhaps you could listen to it together?

Yes! That's a great idea! Or at least you could tell T about it and bring it in and play just one song. Music is very important to me so my T accepts the CD's only because she can use my love of music to help me get better. I often go to therapy lugging a docking station or CD player; it's normal to us.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by stopdog

perhaps you could listen to it together?

i love this, stopdog. thank you.