My regular weekly sessions are always on Wednesdays at 5:00. I meet my therapist at a different location from her office. I am the only one she sees at this location. Well, until today.

I came at my normal time, but noticed the door shut and could hear voices. I thought that was odd. I asked the receptionist if my therapist was there. She said she was finishing up with another appointment. I was like, "What appointment? I am the only one she sees at this location (her church)."

This threw me off big time. I waited and waited and waited. I told myself that if she did not come out by 5:15, I would leave. I would send her a text to let her know that I did show up for my appointment but left when she never came out to get me.

Just about the time I was heading for the door, she came out with another couple and a dog! That was different for sure. They were all talking and laughing a bit. This was really, really different for me since I never see her with other clients.

She knew that I was majorly triggered and told me not to leave. She said to go on in her office and she was coming. It took her a little bit longer to get back. She knew I was not handling that well. She asked me how I was feeling. I told her that I wanted to leave. I did not feel that I could accomplish much of anything in the state of mind I was in. By now, we were 20 minutes late.

She kept wanting me to talk and tell her how I was feeling. She said if I wanted to go, she would understand, but she did not want me to leave without talking about what had happened. I sat there like a mute. No words came out for what seemed like forever. She finally told me that I had to communicate with her in some way. If I needed to write, I could.

I wrote out all of my feelings. Much of it was how silly I felt to even be triggered by something like that. I mean, she has gone over many times with my appointments. But then again, she doesn't see anyone after me, so it doesn't really affect another client.

I finally told her that I just couldn't do it. I had lost everything that I had wanted to talk about in our session today. She apologized for what happened and took full responsibility for it. She offered to let me stay and not charge me for a session. She said something like we would just 'talk' about what happened.

My response was, "This is your job. You get paid to listen to me. I don't think I can accept that we are just going to talk without me paying you for your time." We sat there in silence again and I reluctantly said I would stay.

We ended up 'talking' for an hour. I kept telling her that I knew she needed to go, but she would say things like, "No, we still have 30 minutes" , or 20 minutes, or whatever time we had until my normal appointment would end.

I am really in awe that she did that for me today. She knew what I "needed" and actually gave it to me 'free'. She didn't have to talk with me for that hour, but she knows me well, and she knew that I would go home and have a break down.

So many times I think I take my therapist for granted. I do appreciate her and she means a lot to me. But today she went that extra mile. This makes me feel really good about sticking with therapy. Maybe I can do this afterall.

I know that some of you have told stories of this happening to you. Seeing clients come in and out of your therapist's office. Or having your therapist be late for your appointment. I can really see now what that feels like and how triggering that can be. It is not a good feeling at all. It is very difficult to compose yourself when something like that happens right before a session.

[Wren_]

(((((Squiggle)))))) ... lot's going on for you I'm sorry that you were triggered by seeing other clients there, but also really glad your T took the time to take care of you and spend time with you like that

[ECHOES]

I love that she was there for you after all and understood how much something like that can affect you! It's like a shock and hard to get past, but she kept you there so you could get past it and not have to 'carry' it around with you until another appointment. It is so good to feel the therapist's caring.
And it is such a good experience to end up 'carrying' with us, that shows us how resolving something as soon as possible - in the moment - is very relieving, grounding, and soothing, often very generous.

I'm so glad that a disastrous day turned into a very different day for you!

[WePow]

I am very glad your T was able to give you what you needed. And remember as my T says "It is NEVER wrong to ask for what you need."

So glad you stayed ... !!!

I was in a similar situation yesterday. My T called saying her car broke down & that she would have to reschedule our appt to 6:15 pm...I told her that was fine. When I got there I waited outside of her office because I thought she hadn't made it in yet, but she looked out the door & told me to come in. She had another client & I immediately think did she lie to me...I thought her car broke down. She didn't tell me she had another client so I thought she had lied. Then she went 15 mins overtime with that client & I thought about leaving as well, but stayed. I had to tell myself that I didn't know what exactly had went on so I shouldn't assume anything. Well when we got into our session she apologized & had explained that she had to push all of her appts back because of her car trouble. It finally made sense & she spent the time that was scheduled for her next appt that had canceled with me. I too think that I take T for granted. She has gone above & beyond with her time & yet I find a way to minimize the value. I'm working on it though & glad that we both stayed.

[karebear1]

You have a wonderful T Squiggs- and I am so glad that you chose to stay even though you really didn't want to.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I am really in awe that she did that for me today. She knew what I "needed" and actually gave it to me 'free'. She didn't have to talk with me for that hour, but she knows me well, and she knew that I would go home and have a break down.

A yucky experience, but also a wonderful opportunity. I'm so glad you were able to use that opportunity.

She is trying to teach me to work through my fears and stop running everytime I get offended, feel rejected, or get my feelings hurt. It is so strange the way that I feel about her in comparison to any other doctor that I see. It is totally different!

I am still a bit unsure about next week. I don't want to walk into that situation again. She assured me that it won't happen again, but she cannot guarantee anything. I mean, stuff happens. I think I will sit in my car and ask her to call me when she is ready for me to come in. That way I don't have to see the other couple and hear them talking with her. That is awkward BIG TIME for me to overhear conversations she is having with other clients. I can't really make out what they are saying, but that doesn't matter.

If I stay in my car, I can listen to music or write. I can relax better. Well, I think I can. This is new for me to see her interact with other clients. I am sure I will get past this, but right now it triggers me a lot! I want her to help others like she helps me, but I don't want to 'see' her do it. Weird?

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I want her to help others like she helps me, but I don't want to 'see' her do it. Weird?

not weird to me. i generally choose the first session of the day for that very reason.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

She is trying to teach me to work through my fears and stop running everytime I get offended, feel rejected, or get my feelings hurt. It is so strange the way that I feel about her in comparison to any other doctor that I see. It is totally different!

I am still a bit unsure about next week. I don't want to walk into that situation again. She assured me that it won't happen again, but she cannot guarantee anything. I mean, stuff happens. I think I will sit in my car and ask her to call me when she is ready for me to come in. That way I don't have to see the other couple and hear them talking with her. That is awkward BIG TIME for me to overhear conversations she is having with other clients. I can't really make out what they are saying, but that doesn't matter.

If I stay in my car, I can listen to music or write. I can relax better. Well, I think I can. This is new for me to see her interact with other clients. I am sure I will get past this, but right now it triggers me a lot! I want her to help others like she helps me, but I don't want to 'see' her do it. Weird?

Sitting in your car and waiting for the guarantee doesn't match with your desire to not run when offended and hurt. You could be totally safe and stay home... but I think that's not what you want

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Sitting in your car and waiting for the guarantee doesn't match with your desire to not run when offended and hurt. You could be totally safe and stay home... but I think that's not what you want

Hhhmmm........I think you are right about that. If I stay in my car until she tells me it is 'safe' to come in, that is pretty much the same as 'running'. Right?

I do not understand why things like this bother me. I know that there are others who have been majorly triggered by situations like this. Why? That is what I am trying to figure out. I know she sees other clients, but I don't want to know about it.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

Hhhmmm........I think you are right about that. If I stay in my car until she tells me it is 'safe' to come in, that is pretty much the same as 'running'. Right?

I do not understand why things like this bother me. I know that there are others who have been majorly triggered by situations like this. Why? That is what I am trying to figure out. I know she sees other clients, but I don't want to know about it.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You don't have to be brave every minute of every day. It's OK to take some time out.