[Wren_]

Because then they end and it's back to waiting again, and although I've been through it so many times before ... I really don't want to be in the waiting stage right now

[likewater]

Aaah, tiger.

[Wren_]

thanks ... i appreciate your responding

[SoupDragon]

I told my T once that for me it was like running a 400 meter race - I struggle on to get round the track to the finishing line, getting out of breath and tired and there waits T with a glass of water and a "well done"....... then off I go again trying to get around again for that glass of water. But it never feels enough to off set the effort in getting round the course each week.

But then I thought, OK if I was running a race for real and was tired, what could I do - and realised more frequent rest stops may help and not focusing so hard on the finish line. So now I try and space other things out during the week that can also give me a release from the endless pounding around the track and it does help a little.

That phrase comes into my head "Have faith it is part of the process" but I can't see anything positive about it at all, apart from maybe it keeps our motivation fairly high?

It is hard isn't it - Soup

[Sanada]

I feel like life has been a waiting room recently. I know that its just revolving doors really. One phase to another. T's appt's can be stressful, I am atm waiting to see Psych T, its boring, but I do know its useful too.

I like soups approach.

[granite1]

i was thinking about this very thing the other day.

it seems for me that when i can see and remember that my T is there and will be there for me and we are getting along and OK with each other i am fine with however long the Waite is.i feel connected and i tend not to think about it much(Rare as this may be,it does happen)
but when i am in a lot of pain and confusion full of fear and doubt .worried she hates me want me away from her .i don't want to deal with her.etc..and all these other horrible things that plague me in between sessions most times is when i feel it is forever before i see her again.i want to grab on like a vice and never let her go because i feel i will loose her forever.even in my mind.she will disappear.and it isn't until this next appointment that there is proof that this didn't happen.

i don't know if this is why the wait is like this for you,i may be way off base .but i know it is like this a lot for me

[rainbow_rose]

mind if i wait with you?

[pbutton]

I get tired of waiting too. I want to get in and get everything fixed. I also tend to siphon the good out of anything that happened, so by the time I need to go again, I'll have decided T can't/won't/doesn't want to help me. Aaagh.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I told my T once that for me it was like running a 400 meter race - I struggle on to get round the track to the finishing line, getting out of breath and tired and there waits T with a glass of water and a "well done"....... then off I go again trying to get around again for that glass of water. But it never feels enough to off set the effort in getting round the course each week.

But then I thought, OK if I was running a race for real and was tired, what could I do - and realised more frequent rest stops may help and not focusing so hard on the finish line. So now I try and space other things out during the week that can also give me a release from the endless pounding around the track and it does help a little.

That raises some interesting questions.

* Am I trying to reach the finish as quickly as possible, as surely as possible, as safely as possible, as painlessly as possible, or what?

* Is there a finish line at all?

* Am I running a race, or going for a leisurely walk in the sunshine with my best friend?

I started out very goal directed. I think I have mellowed a bit on the way.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

That raises some interesting questions.

* Am I trying to reach the finish as quickly as possible, as surely as possible, as safely as possible, as painlessly as possible, or what?

* Is there a finish line at all?

* Am I running a race, or going for a leisurely walk in the sunshine with my best friend?

I started out very goal directed. I think I have mellowed a bit on the way.

It's like the phrase about it not being about the destination but the journey.

I like to think there is a final finish line, a point when I can brush myself down and know I am all better how thank-you. But I am beginning to realise it is not like that, that attitude may well have contributed to my current difficulties. My life doesn't have to be on hold until I have finished my work with T - my life is progressing even between those sessions, that become the focus of my week. The more emphasis I put on them, the harder the 400 meter run becomes, but if I can stop to pick some daisies along the way, then maybe the run itself becomes more enjoyable.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

It's like the phrase about it not being about the destination but the journey.

Well... not exactly. Without the destination, there would be no journey.

Who among us went into therapy for fun?!

[Wren_]

Thanks

Soup, I like that illustration and it helps as well ... makes me realise that I'm not doing a good job of the run at all, or of the resting and need to take time to actually work on that better

Rainbow Rose, I'd really like that, thanks

Granite ... yes, yes, yes ... a big part of the inbetween time is what the connection at that stage is like. Sometimes there is more security and other times I really don't want to let go at all; and i'm in a not wanting to let go state now

pbutton, I wonder if there is a way we can hold on to the good more easily? sort of like what rainbow rose is asking in her thread

sanada ... waiting is hard for sure!

I like your questions there cantexplain; and also soups response about the run maybe becoming more enjoyable

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Well... not exactly. Without the destination, there would be no journey.

Who among us went into therapy for fun?!

Yes I agree, but we all know ultimately our destination is for a place other than this - so all we have left is the journey.

Journey's don't have to be "fun" to count as living, maybe they just need to be about awareness and noticing and not about tunnel vision and fixation on the destination....maybe destinations even change for us along the journey?

So maybe we can learn to not see the time inbetween sessions as waiting, but as time to notice how we are. (notice I say "we" because I feel exactly like you describe Tigergirl - my head knows the logic, but inside I find the wait really tough). SD

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes I agree, but we all know ultimately our destination is for a place other than this - so all we have left is the journey.

Journey's don't have to be "fun" to count as living, maybe they just need to be about awareness and noticing and not about tunnel vision and fixation on the destination....maybe destinations even change for us along the journey?

So maybe we can learn to not see the time inbetween sessions as waiting, but as time to notice how we are. (notice I say "we" because I feel exactly like you describe Tigergirl - my head knows the logic, but inside I find the wait really tough). SD

Lets see if I understand you.

You're saying the time between sessions is for living?

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Lets see if I understand you.

You're saying the time between sessions is for living?

I guess I was having several thoughts in parallel there - I know it is easy for me to get so fixated on the next session that it blocks my awareness of what's happening right here and now. Yes that next session is important to me, but if I can notice how it is for me at the present moment, even if what I am noticing is my desire for that session to come quickly, I am "living" in the present and not putting everything on hold waiting for that time with T.

It's not easy, I know that all too well, but maybe it is due to the type of therapy I am doing, but I know my T encourages me to be in the "now" and to just be interested in my thoughts / feelings without judging them.

SD

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I guess I was having several thoughts in parallel there - I know it is easy for me to get so fixated on the next session that it blocks my awareness of what's happening right here and now. Yes that next session is important to me, but if I can notice how it is for me at the present moment, even if what I am noticing is my desire for that session to come quickly, I am "living" in the present and not putting everything on hold waiting for that time with T.

It's not easy, I know that all too well, but maybe it is due to the type of therapy I am doing, but I know my T encourages me to be in the "now" and to just be interested in my thoughts / feelings without judging them.

SD

This is great insight - I have started to understand this as well.

[Wren_]

thanks soup ... that really helps or at least the idea of it does now to actually do more of the living inbetween sessions

[KazzaX]

The waiting is absolute hell! I am waiting for friday to see if she'll take me back as a client. Arrrrgh! every day seems like it lasts for 300 hours!