[mcl6136]

I realized that I don't want to go to therapy in part because I feel like I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure IRL. My day job is overwhelming in terms of financial goals..with this economy! Right now, therapy needs to be a place where I can let down my guard, be kind of experimental and weak, sometimes, rather than tough.

The fact is, I'm barely surviving THERAPY, not my job.

I'm going to say that when I go in tomorrow. My job does not keep me up at night; therapy does.

Maybe that's why this whole thing felt so WRONG.

[healed84]

I am kind of feeling the same way about thearpy.. but I wonder if it is just part of the healing/growing process. I think if we all stick in there long enough.. it will all pay off. I hope, lol! hang in there!

[struggling2]

I couldn't agree more! It's exhausting

[rainbow_rose]

i commiserate with you

[SoupDragon]

Yes I agree, I have loads going on IRL, a new bully for a boss, issues with my ex, other family members, bereavement, blah, blah, blah. I felt that I needed a break, that seeing T was just one more pressure in my life AND the one that caused me the most anxiety. But T keeps me going to my sessions and I just go because that is what I do on a Tuesday.

[Chopin99]

Yep...therapy has alternately been my saving grace and my hell on earth. Depends on the week!

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I realized that I don't want to go to therapy in part because I feel like I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure IRL. My day job is overwhelming in terms of financial goals..with this economy! Right now, therapy needs to be a place where I can let down my guard, be kind of experimental and weak, sometimes, rather than tough.

The fact is, I'm barely surviving THERAPY, not my job.

I'm going to say that when I go in tomorrow. My job does not keep me up at night; therapy does.

Maybe that's why this whole thing felt so WRONG.

This is such. good. stuff. to tell your T tomorrow.

I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if therapy itself is the problem (I'm kind of wondering that right now)...like I'm busy enough as it is, and when therapy-stress happens (not the stress I came to therapy to talk about, the stress caused by therapy ITSELF), I wonder what the heck I'm doing.

When I look at the BIG picture, I can see that I've changed and healed in therapy. And I can even see that I did a lot of that by working through the therapy-stress. But while I'm IN it, it feels so pointless - or even worse than pointless, actually - it feels like it might be making me worse instead of better.

I REALLY believe that the issues that come up that are "therapy issues" ARE the issues. Those are the things that are probably hindering us in our lives...but it's SO much more intense in therapy that it just feels bigger and almost unrelated to real-life stuff. I can kind of see that when I step back and look at it in retrospect - but while I'm in it, it just feels like "make it STOP!".

I hope your session brings some relief. It seems like this has been a tough time for you.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Right now, therapy needs to be a place where I can let down my guard, be kind of experimental and weak, sometimes, rather than tough.

That sounds like a really good use of therapy during a stressful time in one's life. I go through periods in therapy too where we just kind of kick back and don't do high pressure work. It's more like I go to get support. T is OK with this and follows my lead on what I need. I am glad you are going to talk to your T about it. It sounds like you need a breather from the tough work you've been doing in therapy. I hope you can take it easy in your therapy session and get some support. There have been a few times when I really needed shoring up and T referred to this once as doing ego work--him doing the work to shore up my ego so I don't collapse, I guess.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I realized that I don't want to go to therapy in part because I feel like I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure IRL. My day job is overwhelming in terms of financial goals..with this economy! Right now, therapy needs to be a place where I can let down my guard, be kind of experimental and weak, sometimes, rather than tough.

The fact is, I'm barely surviving THERAPY, not my job.

I'm going to say that when I go in tomorrow. My job does not keep me up at night; therapy does.

Maybe that's why this whole thing felt so WRONG.

I can relate. Me, two years ago. I took some time out.

Even today, therapy is much more triggering than anything I have to do at work. Or at home. Hmmmmm... Therapy is my biggest problem! But 90% of my sessions leave me feeling better.

[Snuffleupagus]

This thread reminds me of an old Dr. Katz episode. The comedian on the couch (Bill something or other) tells Dr. Katz he just left the dentist.

Bill: I had my teeth cleaned by the dental hygienist, and she's digging and scraping and gouging, and my gums started bleeding. And she actually said this. She said, "Do you have a problem with your gums? They're bleeding." I said, "Well, ya know, they weren't bleeding when I came in here. I think you're doing that."

Dr. Katz: And she wouldn't own up to any responsibility at all for the bleeding?

Bill: None.

Oh, that's right the digging and scraping and gouging is all for our own good. In fairness to my dentist/T, I do have a propensity to bleed.