[crazylife]

My T told me today that all though i let him in with things i tell him which shows i trust him with this information, i don't let him in emotionally. I'm ok to sit there and talk about really personal bad experiences but i don't show any emotions. I told him that in the end if i let him in he would end the therapy at some point and hurt me and i am protecting myself. He then said that if i can't let him in emotionally then he can't help me. So my question to you guys is how on earth do i open up emotionally??? Plus i suffer from dissociation very bad. He said i don't seem to have reactions to things anymore which isn't true i have lots of reactions but just don't show them. Medication plays a part but also i'm fed up of being shipped around professionals because i'm to emotional and I've finally found a T who will work with me. I sent him a drunk email a week ago and he said it contained so much emotion he was shocked. I don't understand really how i can be stable and show emotions. Plus the last time i let someone professional in emotionally i got screwed over and left fighting for what i needed. Advice???

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( crazylife ))))))))))))))))))))))))) I can really relate to what you're saying!

it takes time to allow someone to come close*. And for every client, the amount of time is different (for me, 18 months the first time, don't know what this time will bring).

I don't have Wonderful Advice to give you except that, and to say please go gently with yourself. Trusting may never come easily, but you will know when to try it out. keep going........

* PS added ... http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/21.html

[SoupDragon]

Hi Crazylife - I am great at gaining insights, theorising about stuff and getting better at talking about stuff - but emotions are just not there for me.

My T encourages me to do mindfulness stuff to try and become more aware, I wish I could give you some advice on how to show emotions, but really I am baffled on how to show feelings. Actually that is a revelation to me - I know I can feel emotions, but just can't share them with others. Also sounds like you have the capacity to, if you showed them in your e-mail.

Maybe it just takes time and processing.

I shall keep checking this thread in case anyone has some suggestions on how to do it though - Soup

[crazylife]

Well i started of therapy by letting all my walls down and when he said we were finishing our time together before it's time i lost it, i had no control over my emotions and we right to the deep end, so this puts me off to because we have to end at sometime and i don't want to react like that. AHHHHH! This is going to drive me nuts roll on next week.

[pbutton]

Yep, I have this problem too. Why would I want to let him in my inner circle when he's just going to go away again? No thanks, I'll skip that pain.

[Sannah]

If you heal then ending therapy won't be as traumatic.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by crazylife

Well i started of therapy by letting all my walls down and when he said we were finishing our time together before it's time i lost it, i had no control over my emotions and we right to the deep end, so this puts me off to because we have to end at sometime and i don't want to react like that. AHHHHH! This is going to drive me nuts roll on next week.

I wonder it we have to experience the extremes before we can settle down to normality. On my road from depression to serenity (ha!) I passed through a bipolar phase. And I think that was inevitable.