my T works business hours and then there is an after hours team who i am to contact if i need support at night or over the weekend.

i find the after hours team to be hopeless, examples being:
>no one answering even when i try 10+ times
>them saying they will call you back within an hour but then they call back 6+hours later or not at all
>them saying 'just distract' even when i tell them i have tried distraction and it's not working
>me saying i'm feeling like SHing and i just need some support in not doing it and them saying go to ED right now or we will call ambulance/police on you.
>me saying i'm feeling really suicidal and them just saying out right 'you'll be fine, go to ED if you do anything'

so i have found that they really don't help so when T says to call them if i need to i know i won't because if i get an unhelpful response it makes me worse.

so what i wanted to know is if any of you have any tips on how to get the after hours to be more helpful or any other alternatives?

thanks.

[nicoleb2]

No advice for you, although I can relate. I called the after hours people once. Never again because I just got the "you need to distract and use your dbt skills"

T tells me to call them if I need to, not gonna happen

[BlessedRhiannon]

Can you talk to your T and tell them what your experiences have been so far with the after hours service? Maybe your T can offer some alternatives.

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Can you talk to your T and tell them what your experiences have been so far with the after hours service? Maybe your T can offer some alternatives.

i have spoken to her and she says that either i need to call them or call Kids Help Line, which has pretty much the same problems. and if i get an unhelpful response i'm meant to try again and if that doesn't work and i can't stay safe i have to take myself to ED.. and right now (i'm not about to do something i just mean in general) i can't do any of them..

[growlycat]

Maybe T will get a new service if he/she is aware of how useless it is.

[lostmyway21]

I don't have a lot of advice. Just wanted to offer a That would be incredibly frustrating, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm even more thankful I can call my T any time now. Those kind of responses would completly set me off.

[crazylife]

My out of hours service is rubbish to. They tend to be so unhelpful it makes me worse, so i'm the same even though my T says to call if needed i never will. Hugs.

[Chopin99]

Quiet, I'm sorry you are going through this. At first I thought, "At least you have someone to call after hours" (as my T's office tells people to call 911, go to the ER, or call the crisis line), but after reading how utterly unhelpful they are, you might as well not have anyone to call.

I have no advice, unfortunately. If you tried what I've been told, you'd either get an ambulance ride to the hospital, you'd take yourself to the hospital (which where I live is no help whatsoever), or talk to people less qualified to help you.

Good luck to you. I hope you find some answers.

[capecodfish]

What is it that you want them to do? What do YOU think will help you in times of crisis? Maybe it's something you can't get from the after hours hotline. Maybe it's something to get from someone/place else.

[anilam]

I don't see a difference between them and the crisis line? Do they know you at all? What are the benefits?

Ive learned long ago never to call when in crisis- an innocent word can send to hell. I am not triggered easily, but there are few that can do that. My T knows that and tries to avoid using them, but I hate calling him just the same (reminds me of my past). So we came up with a plan : I send him a message: I need to see you and he gives me a date the next day, early in the morning (my crisis are at night). Been lucky I guess that he was not asleep.
Only done it twice in 4 years, left it for SU emergencies only.

i'm not exactly sure what i want.. i guess i want them to talk me down, help me calm down and see things more rationally, help me work out what DBT skills will help in the moment and help me use them. then if thats not working talk to me about options such as ED to keep me safe. i need them to help me see that hospital is the best option(if it comes to that) and that it's not as awful as i make myself believe it is. and help me think about hospital and the consequences in a non judgemental way..

it's probably too much to ask from a crisis service. but i guess even if they did things slightly more like that it might help..

thanks for your replies.