Hugging - again

I agree. And yet T would say, "Do I have to do everything your way?"

Different people think different things are rude.

I'd like to think there are universal standards of decency, but then maybe I'm a cultural imperialist and a yuppie bigot.

When it involves a request to touch me, yes I would say that it does have to be done my way.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

CantExplain - yeah, and because I'm a meek pleaser I'd say - "No, of course not, dear T, you don't have to do everything I want. I heart you!" Honestly though, the fact that most people continue to do exactly as they wish without even the slightest nod to my preferences for their behavior is such a frickin' thorn in my side! WHY DON'T THEY JUST OBEY ME! LOL

I do think it's odd that some Ts seem to feel that the therapy session is its own planet, where the norms of social interaction go right out the window - under the guise of therapeutic technique. I object to rudeness in session, even if the therapist is employing it as a strategy to draw this or that response out of me, or to compel some sort of breakthrough. I don't want to be experimented on!

There's a better way to guide a client toward enlightenment.

For instance, I would ideally love for my T to tell me, "Hey kitten, you're perfect, you're beautiful, you were harmed, you did no wrong. Everything that has ever happened to you has been the fault of asshats and jerks and your narcissistic parents and sadistic teachers and all the other damaged, shameless bullies of the world, and you - you're an ANGEL! It's EVERYONE ELSE THAT SUCKS! To hell with other people! It's GETBACK time, honey! And you got my blessing!"

That's what I'd love a T to say to me. But I know I'll never hear it

I think there is a huge difference in touching someone (insisting on a hug) who does not wish to be touched and other ideas of what is rude or not. I , for example, hated the t walking to the door at the end. I thought that was too intrusive and got too close to me. I never (until she said she thought it was polite to walk someone to the door) would have given her staying seated a second thought -I do not want her walking to the door with me. I want her physically far away from me. I now have it so she stays seated until I leave.

Huh? Retention? You mean I'm supposed to recall the stuff I write and read here?

Gosh the bar really is getting higher!

Solution: put a telephone book on the bar stool? Ha ha - but first explain to the kiddies what a telephone book is! sorry - i'm nutso - got a snailmail birthday card and letter today from the darkside. I just don't understand what is happening.

Stopdog - interesting - this is shedding some light for me on why my old T used to stay seated. Maybe he'd had clients who felt uncomfortable when he joined them at the door. It could happen!