[elliemay]

Re-thought our entire thought process on what therapy is, the feelings we have, the pain - I mean the entire thing.

What if instead of mourning our pain, and fretting therapy, we chose to celebrate and embrace the entire process, including ourselves.

Honored our road to recovery and grief over our past?

What if we let go of the outcome and plunged headlong into understand and exploring ourselves. What if we decided that exploration was one of the most important things that we will ever do.

Gave ourselves room to be happy where we are. Simply acknowledged that our lives are utterly crazy right now, and we love it.

What would be so wrong about loving our lives just as they are? Joy, pain - the whole confusing, glorious mess that they are.

What if we just accepted our therapist as human, but nonethess, an important and trustworthy soul in our lives. What if we valued their role in our journey instead of fighting them the whole way?

I know if I were climbing Everest (and wow that's what it feels like sometimes), the last thing I would do would be to ignore the Sherpa, rather I would really try to enjoy the view on the way up.

I already do.

I do this too. It makes a huge difference inside.
This is a great thoughtful post you shared.

[Perna]

That's exactly what I did with dreams (and I had some horrible doozies); got excited about going to sleep and having them as they were a great help in my therapy.

never ignore the sherpa..they schlepp the food, water & most importantly the toilet paper.

it's a journey...some trips have construction...my t is like AAA & a map (i'm old school..no GPS for me)...

my past is my past. i never knew it wasn't the same for everyone until i got older. then i realized how now everyone got beat, raped etc. it made me stronger...helped to develop who i am. would i want it to happen again? wish it on anyone else? hell no. but it is part of what defined me. i don't celebrate it...but i accept that it happened. it can't be erased...but i can work to make my childhood work for me.

i've had 2 t's. one was not so good...one is excellent. both have born witness to my story. both have helped me heal..each in different ways. without them, i don't know where i would be.

i am no where near the summit...but their air is getting thin, the view better...& i make sure the sherpa dude is near me...altho i no longer have to stay attatched to them by a rope. i've learned to trust my own schlepping skills somewhat (& to carry a candy bar, tp & a bottle of water)

[Ygrec23]

Absolutely agree. 100%. Take care!

[FourRedheads]

Great post! I am not there yet. Self-acceptance is what I'm working toward. Lots to think about!

[mcl6136]

great post ...sometimes I slip off the mountain side, sometimes, I'm exhilerated by the view...sometimes I sit down and sob and wish the food was better or the weather...or whatever.

great great post!

[rainbow8]

Thank you, elliemay. Isn't what you're saying basically mindfulness? Living in the moment? What's the quote about the past being over, the future not here yet, but the present being a gift?

[struggling2]

i. love. this. Thank you SO SO much for this post.

I wish I could get there...part of me thinks if I could get to thinking about myself and the process this way I wouldn't need therapy

[Chopin99]

I am trying to do this more and more everyday. It is working and I am less anxious! I'm starting to enjoy the process.

I met a person with mild mental retardation and cerebral palsy yesterday who lived in a restrictive group home for 20+ years. She began to advocate for herself about 4-5 years ago to move out on her own. It took 3 years, waiting through a battle with breast cancer, facility politics, and funding issues, but she moved out on her own in December. I asked her if she considered her life better now. She told me, "Yes, but remember; while waiting for what you want in life, don't forget to live your life because it is passing you by all the time."

Sage words. Sometimes I find the developmentally disabled I work with to be more emotionally intelligent than those of us with average, above average, or genius IQ's.

Thank you for this reminder, elliemay.

The place you are describing is where I can find the most peace. I can accept that I'm on a journey, that there will be good times and bad times, and that the view is fine from right where I'm at.

When I get a little lost, it's so easy to step on all of the rocks, get caught in blizzards, push my sherpa away, and wish I was already at the summit.

Thank you for the reminder. It was just what I needed this morning.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by elliemay

Re-thought our entire thought process on what therapy is, the feelings we have, the pain - I mean the entire thing.

What if instead of mourning our pain, and fretting therapy, we chose to celebrate and embrace the entire process, including ourselves.

Honored our road to recovery and grief over our past?

What if we let go of the outcome and plunged headlong into understand and exploring ourselves. What if we decided that exploration was one of the most important things that we will ever do.

Gave ourselves room to be happy where we are. Simply acknowledged that our lives are utterly crazy right now, and we love it.

What would be so wrong about loving our lives just as they are? Joy, pain - the whole confusing, glorious mess that they are.

What if we just accepted our therapist as human, but nonethess, an important and trustworthy soul in our lives. What if we valued their role in our journey instead of fighting them the whole way?

I know if I were climbing Everest (and wow that's what it feels like sometimes), the last thing I would do would be to ignore the Sherpa, rather I would really try to enjoy the view on the way up.

Wow this is so great, yes yes yes to it all - hmmm, how do I get there though? What is it that stops me (us?).

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Wow this is so great, yes yes yes to it all - hmmm, how do I get there though? What is it that stops me (us?).

Fear stops me!

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Fear stops me!

Yeah I think me too - do you know what you are fearful of? Don't think I do.

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yeah I think me too - do you know what you are fearful of? Don't think I do.

For me... its the fear of the unknown, the fear of not being in control, I'm sure there is alot more...

unfortunately for me.... knowing what you are fearful of and letting go of the fear are not the same thing...

[CantExplain]

I'm not ready yet. Pain hurts!

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I'm not ready yet. Pain hurts!

I hear you. Sometimes though there can be merit in simply asking - "what if it didn't have to hurt so much?"

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I wish I could get there...part of me thinks if I could get to thinking about myself and the process this way I wouldn't need therapy

I'm not sure self-exploration and understanding should ever stop. Navel gazing? yes. That should be self-limiting.

However, I do think life is crazy, and you never know the next thing that's coming at you. Sitting solidly with yourself can only help.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I am trying to do this more and more everyday. It is working and I am less anxious! I'm starting to enjoy the process.

I met a person with mild mental retardation and cerebral palsy yesterday who lived in a restrictive group home for 20+ years. She began to advocate for herself about 4-5 years ago to move out on her own. It took 3 years, waiting through a battle with breast cancer, facility politics, and funding issues, but she moved out on her own in December. I asked her if she considered her life better now. She told me, "Yes, but remember; while waiting for what you want in life, don't forget to live your life because it is passing you by all the time."

Sage words. Sometimes I find the developmentally disabled I work with to be more emotionally intelligent than those of us with average, above average, or genius IQ's.

Occam's razor at it's sharpest.

honestly though, I think some of my most profound changes have come out of total frustration rather than any kind of deliberate method or innate "intelligence".

[nicoleflynn]

Perfect. I have always done this...live in the moment...Do it now and say it now, because the next moment is not promised to us.

I am a Freshman at age 65, because I wrote about my life and won a scholarship. I have found a way to live with loving someone who isn't available; don't know how I did it, but it was either that, or live in misery. I celebrate life every day as a free-spirit in a world where I find there are very few of us. All common sense stuff...great post!

[KazzaX]

I think what the OP described is really the thing everyone aims for. Sort of like how monks try to reach enlightenment but never really get there (due to the constraints of reality), but it is their goal and something to strive for. I think what you described is equivalent to that. The constraints of reality will always stop us from achieving that, but we should still aim for it nonetheless (like the monks do!).

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by KazzaX

I think what the OP described is really the thing everyone aims for. Sort of like how monks try to reach enlightenment but never really get there (due to the constraints of reality), but it is their goal and something to strive for. I think what you described is equivalent to that. The constraints of reality will always stop us from achieving that, but we should still aim for it nonetheless (like the monks do!).

One of the things that I've definintely learned in my life - and not from therapy - but just from existing on this planet is that we really really do set our own reality.

What I've come to understand is how easily we accept the heavy restraints on us, when in fact, they are likely a lot lighter than we think -if there at all.

I'm not an ox. I will not accept the emptional restraints that people want me to have any longer. I simply will not do it.

I'm not sure living a good/peaceful/happy life is about reaching enlightenment, but rather living it the way we want - with all options on the table for consideration.

Originally Posted by elliemay

One of the things that I've definintely learned in my life - and not from therapy - but just from existing on this planet is that we really really do set our own reality.

What I've come to understand is how easily we accept the heavy restraints on us, when in fact, they are likely a lot lighter than we think -if there at all.

I'm not an ox. I will not accept the emptional restraints that people want me to have any longer. I simply will not do it.

I'm not sure living a good/peaceful/happy life is about reaching enlightenment, but rather living it the way we want - with all options on the table for consideration.

I've often wondered that... if I simply choose to stay bound to the burdens of the past... Is it easier for me to be limited by the past, because I've lived it, I know it, my defenses are built to survive it...and as painful and unsafe that past was...it somehow seems safer than letting go of it....

could I simply look at my life now differently?... could I just accept that the past is in the past and it's only power is what I give it? could I take off the blinders that others have put on me, and see all of the options?