So, how do you address your T?

Despite having a conversation about his first name, I don't know how I will address him, if I ever do. He has never used my name -he just smiles at me and cocks his head towards his office. I feel fetched!

First name. She told me to call her by her first name after I called Dr. Last name. I've rarely used her name in talking to her. It feels weird. I don't know why. Too intimate? I don't hardly use anyone's first name. For the same reason?

That would Really bother me if a T told me to call them Doctor. I expect them to make an effort to treat me as an equal, which I think is part of genuine communication that is a point of therapy. If they don't believe in being equal, it would be a red flag for me. Actually, when I was shopping for t's at one point, I went to one once who asked me to call him doctor. I must have made a face because he immediately said "just at first". He was an old guy and I figured maybe 20 years ago, that formality was a more normal way to address people at first. I still thought it was a bit elitist but he was able to have a reasonably genuine conversation. So there would probably be a bunch of circumstances where I'd be more okay with it than what I wrote here at first, but I generally really don't like it.

I've cooked up an excuse for my T when he signs his emails with Dr. too, so that I don't necessarily have to believe he's being elitist. I think he's concerned about me getting into romantic transference (or maybe even too much attachment in general) with him, and being formal by signing his name as Dr. could be a way to try to avoid that. He doesn't mind I've always used his first name in person, though I don't very often use any name.

I would be thrown off by that too. It's up to you and your T what you call each other. Your current T doesn't get to choose how you address your former T. If it had been me, when the T corrected me by saying "Dr. so and so", I would have said, "yes, Adam (or whatever) so and so, my previous therapist." And I would have been sure to refer to him again later in the conversation as "Adam" to drive home my right to call him that.

I call my T by his first name. I like it when he calls me by name, but that doesn't happen much in session.

I've thought about this a lot over the years. I've seen my T for a total of almost five years during two different periods in my life, and I have never called him by his first name, last name, title, or any combination. I think part of this is an authority or intimacy issue, since I also can't call my parents "mom" or "dad" or anything else. I just avoid names altogether with my FOO, even my siblings.

But I think it's also a little symptom of my dissociation--like if I call T by name, or look him in the eye, or say hello or goodbye (which I have actually been able to do lately), that makes him and the process too real. He does call me by my first name, and although it made me cringe for a long time, because it brings me back when I feel detached, it kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy now

Yesterday one of us referred to T as " f*cking ******"
Things were a bit intense for 1 of our teenage alters for a bit.

Add me to the list of people who think it's weird for your T to "correct" how you refer to your previous T. It reminds me of when I used to refer to my high school teachers by last name only, and my dad would correct me. "Ugh, I have a ton of work to do, Smith just keeps piling it on." "That's MR. Smith." If my T did that I'd be thus tempted to say, "Yes, dad [eye roll]."

I call my T by his first name. I think it would come off as a joke if I called him Dr. Lastname at this point.

I actually recently completed a PhD, and my friends and I in the program will often refer to each other as Dr. Firstname around the time each one finishes up. So right now I sometimes think of him as Dr. Firstname, but I don't say it out loud.

He has used my name a few times, but very rarely, in session. He mostly uses it when he really wants me to calm down and listen. And it actually does help me calm down and listen.

Congrats on finishing your PhD, SallyBrown! When we finished, my friends and I referred to each other as Dr. Lastname for about a week. I can't help but think of Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura when the whole Dr. Firstname thing comes up!

I always refer to my t by her first name, not that I have ever said it to her. She rarely has to say my name, when she does, it's because she is really trying to get me to accept what she is saying

I address her by her first name. Keeps us more on equal levels

I call both my therapist and counsellor both by there first name.

I call him Dr Lastname. It's out of respect. He has not asked me to call him by his first name but I would if he asked me too.

I wouldn't dream of calling a Dr anything but Dr Lastname without their consent.

I call him by his first name. He introduced himself as <first name> <last name>, not as Dr. <last name>, so I figured he was okay with it.

I work around tons of PhDs and had a bunch of them reporting to me. I'm kind of over the whole title thing. Plus, we're about the same age, which seems to make a difference for some reason.

I've probably answered this thread before since it's an old one, but I am far too lazy to check (and my kids are bugging me to go to the pool). So, my pdoc has and always will be Dr. Last Name. His last name is crazy hard to say and worse to spell, but his first name is not any better. And, he's a medical doctor and that just seems right to me. Ours is a fairly formal relationship.

My T is always by his first name to his face. I use Dr. Last Name if I call in and end up speaking to one of the office people who are either new and don't know me very well.

T1 - I didn't call him anything until he signed an email to me w/his first name.

T2 - He introduced himself to me in the waiting room w/his first name.

I've always called them by first names, because that's how they refer to themselves. Even my PsyD. I only heard her use the "Doctor" prefix when she introduced herself to parents of her clients and in her voice mail it's Doctor First Last. I think at her other practice where she works with criminals, she probably goes by Doctor Last. But that's just my hunch.

The only one I felt weird with addressing by her first name was the psychiatric nurse practitioner in her 50s(?). How to address people of significantly higher age confuses me and I try to avoid it, which is difficult when I'm speaking Spanish and need to choose the formal or informal conjugations of verbs. My Ts have been in the 9-12 years older than me range and I've gotten rather attached to them in what my last T called a sort of big sister way, and I've called them all by their first names.

My pdoc...dr. so and so.
My T...first name.

Well, I'm Swedish, so I follow Swedish address conventions even when I speak English to T2. That means that I don't address T, because that is very rarely done in Swedish. If I did address him I would use his first name because anything else would be unthinkable in a Swedish context; I once sent an email to ex-T where I also used her first name in the salutation, but otherwise I never addressed her. I'd only ever address somebody as "Dr. So-and-so" as a joke. Titles just aren't used in Sweden. (As an aside, this is also true for e.g. schoolteachers; very young schoolchildren might call their teacher "fröken" ("Ms Teacher") or "magistern" ("Mr Teacher") without a name, but it would be much more common to just use their first name, and schoolkids over the age of 8 or so would never use any address other than their teacher's first name. Never Mr/Mrs + their last name; in Swedish, that would be disrespectful.)

That's very fascinating indeed and I'd love to know more about it... When you say "informal/formal conjugations", do you refer to the polite plural form used to people of higher status? (the French "vous" form)

Sorry, I shouldn't derail the thread I think it's important to remember that address conventions vary significantly between cultures though - and even more between languages!

In Spanish there is the 'tu'/'usted' singular informal/formal distinction. And since part of my family is from Mexico, they don't use a form to distinguish between plural informal or formal, the technically formal 'ustedes' is used for any 2nd person plural. I think in Spain or other places they might use 'vosotros,' but I don't know much about that. When I go to Mexico, I'm never sure how to address unfamiliar adults or even waiters for that matter. I don't know when 'tu' is okay or when 'usted' is expected or preferred.

I use her first name. It's comfortable that way. Helps me relate better, I think, than if I had to use something more formal.

Both. The last T I had I called her DR.*****, the new one I have I call her by her first name. The inhome councelor we used first names. It's what ever they would like I guess. It doesn't see to change the way I react any

love the Swedish and Spanish lessons. Interesting, as my children were taught to call all adults Mr. or Ms. Lastname.

Pdoc is an MD so I call him Dr. Lastname. Sometimes I just say Dr. Initial to be snarky, but never to his face.

T is actually a funny story. I always have had Dr. T's, so when I met him (LICSW) I didn't know what to call him. He introduced himself as Firstname Lastname, and I just wasn't sure. I finally asked him about 6 mos in, but I never used his name until then. lol

The other night we called her a F*&*King B*&CH

T- first name
Pdoc- dr

so.... *&^%@#

only kidding i dont really say her name at all but when i write i adress her by her first name