[lostmyway21]

So I went on a walk around the city with my T yesterday, and we stopped and did a errand at his vet and picked up his kitties food. While we were there I just looked up at him and stayed quiet. I felt like a little kid with my dad. It was so comforting and safe, it felt good. I didnt have my needs met as a kid. I raised myself. I don't know if I should tell him how it made me feel? I want to talk to him about it, but I'm afraid he won't take me on any more errands if I tell him about it. So should I tell him guys? I'm embarrassed.

[likelife]

It sounds like it was a really warm moment that you shared with your T. I imagine he'd be glad to hear about it.

[mcl6136]

This sounds like a victory that you have had this experience and even more...realize how much it means!

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

So I went on a walk around the city with my T yesterday, and we stopped and did a errand at his vet and picked up his kitties food. While we were there I just looked up at him and stayed quiet. I felt like a little kid with my dad. It was so comforting and safe, it felt good. I didnt have my needs met as a kid. I raised myself. I don't know if I should tell him how it made me feel? I want to talk to him about it, but I'm afraid he won't take me on any more errands if I tell him about it. So should I tell him guys? I'm embarrassed.

I think its a geat thing to talk about because its about so much more than how you felt about walking with your T... its about all that you didn't have before and its a great way to approach talking about that...

[lostmyway21]

Thanks guys I'm just scared he will take away the walks if I tell him.

[karebear1]

If you decide to speak to him about it Lost, pre-empt telling him this with the thought that you want to tell him something, but if you do, you're afraid he may take that thing that meant so much to you away from you. It will help you and him both. Hugs Lost.

[lostmyway21]

Ahhh omg I told him. Please don't take away my walks.

[CantExplain]

My T talks about "the joys of the ordinary". Something she felt I didn't value enough.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

So I went on a walk around the city with my T yesterday, and we stopped and did a errand at his vet and picked up his kitties food. While we were there I just looked up at him and stayed quiet. I felt like a little kid with my dad. It was so comforting and safe, it felt good.

This ... stirred me.

I would love a opportunity to do something normal with T. Just to be with her outside that room.

I posted once about doing the dishes with her. That's one of my most cherished memories.

T's office opens off her laundry, so the laundry is one of the places in her house where I'm allowed to be. When I saw your post I had a fantasy about folding towels with her.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

This ... stirred me.

I would love a opportunity to do something normal with T. Just to be with her outside that room.

I posted once about doing the dishes with her. That's one of my most cherished memories.

T's office opens off her laundry, so the laundry is one of the places in her house where I'm allowed to be. When I saw your post I had a fantasy about folding towels with her.

I'm sorry Cant I didn't mean to upset anyone with my post.

I love that your T went for a walk with you, what a lovely idea! I don't think you should be embarrassed about telling him how it made you feel, I think he'll be glad how much you appreciate it.

[lostmyway21]

Ok guys this is what I sent him: (good or no good? I wish my keyboard had a take back button I'd be smashing it right now. )

Okay I am a little worried about sending this email for two reasons.
One is because it is highly embarrassing, and two is because I am
afraid that you will take going on walks away from me.

Here is goes: I remember when I first started seeing you and we talked
about my childhood you said it wasn't normal. I mean it was always
normal to me because it's all I never knew. The more I think about it
though, the more I realize it wasn't. I never really got any of my
needs met. I was always left on my own to figure it own for myself. I
was never dependent on anyone else, even when I wanted to or needed to
be. I often wonder if it is too late to learn how to fulfill those
needs that weren't met?

Anyway, when we went on the walk, and we stopped at the vet to pick up
you kitties food, something pretty amazing connections were being
made. When I was leaning on the counter looking up at you, I felt like
a little kid. I felt like all my little kid needs were being met. I
felt comforted, and so safe by your side, it felt good. I felt like
our connection could not be touched. I realized right then and there
that even though you wouldn't hug me, that you make up for it in other
ways. That being in that moment right there, made me feel a million
times better than a hug ever could. It calmed down all my aggressive
and agitated feelings, and just put me at a calm, that I haven't felt
in so long.

I felt like it was important that I shared this with you. *But at the
same time I am really scared by doing that you will take away our
walks. I hope you don't. Will you? It was super helpful and they mean
a lot to me now.

[likelife]

I think your email is fantastic! You expressed yourself so clearly, and your feelings were really apparent. You also asked really directly about whether he would take away walks, which is a great way to ask for reassurance. Bravo!

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

When I was leaning on the counter looking up at you, I felt like a little kid. I felt like all my little kid needs were being met. I felt comforted, and so safe by your side, it felt good.

I love getting into this mode with T! This is what our hugs are about, this is the mindset I try to get into a lot of the time - because there is someone lost way back in there somewhere, who sneaks out and embarrasses me at very wrong times, so it is a priority to get her taken care of. And relating to her like this does seem to be working. You described it here very very well. It's kind of like pretend with a purpose.

[lostmyway21]

So I got really nervous and I emailed him again after I sent it, and asked him to let me know if things were okay. And he said everything was and I didnt say anything wrong and I can still go on walks. Yay!

[karebear1]

That is wonderful Lost! He's a good T- huh???

Try and hold this lovely , warm feeling if you can.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by karebear1

That is wonderful Lost! He's a good T- huh???

Try and hold this lovely , warm feeling if you can.

He is the best most perfect T for me. Of course I am a bit biased though. I am trying harder than ever to hold on to this feeling.

We love to do outside stuff with our t
I am glad you got to do that
Thats so nice
I dont think he gonna take it away

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I'm sorry Cant I didn't mean to upset anyone with my post.

That's OK. Triggers are everywhere and mostly accidental.

You helped me see my feelings more clearly. Now I can take it back to T.

[growlycat]

Miss my walks with the T but they haven't gone away forever. We would stop and buy bottled water and your story reminded me of that same feeling so thank you!

Great email, I think T's don't always get feedback when they are doing something right!!!

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

He is the best most perfect T for me. Of course I am a bit biased though. I am trying harder than ever to hold on to this feeling.

Your T sounds great and apparently exactly what you need! Walk your face off with T... As long as it works!

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Your T sounds great and apparently exactly what you need! Walk your face off with T... As long as it works!

Thanks! it was a running joke that it rained/snowed EVERY time I had an appt in that office so I never got to go for a walk before. I've been asking him for weeks. Finally, it was a nice day and he asked me because he knew I have wanted to badly and I nodded yes with a HUGE grin.