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#1
Feb 25, 2012, 04:55 PM
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Not sure if this should be regarded as triggering or not, but...
I think I have made progress in my 2 years with T - there is still much that has felt too unsafe to talk about, but I think this is a degree of trust and understanding that has grown. I had things under control in my head, certain things protected and it felt manageable to let them out bit by bit. But it feels like suddenly this week, what I accept now as a ED has raised its head. I won't go into details on here, but there is stuff that I have never shared with anyone and that my head is telling me to keep secret from T as he will not approve. I absolutely know that the rational thing to do is to talk to T, but there is part of me that won't let me do that, I think he would challenge me and I just can't allow him to do that at the moment - the urges connected to eating are just too strong right now. I just wondered if anyone else has experienced an unhelpful behaviour kicking off and have struggled to share with T and what you did?
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Soup |
 bluemountains, FourRedheads, Nelliecat
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#2
Feb 25, 2012, 07:13 PM
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I have sometimes felt that T wouldn't approve, but it always turns out not to be a big deal.
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
 SoupDragon
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#3
Feb 28, 2012, 07:43 PM
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What did you decide Soup?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Feb 28, 2012, 07:45 PM
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Maybe you can let out just a little bit with this, too, Soup. Maybe just enough to start feeling progress again.
Bluemountains |
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#5
Feb 28, 2012, 08:05 PM
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Yeah, I struggle all the time with SI and with carrying around razors in my purse and car. T hates this b/c he stated one time he would feel awful if I SI after a session - like he would feel responsible in some way. So a lot of the time I don't tell him they're there. I do, however, tell him whenever I SI. Then we talk about what caused it. Little by little this has helped to decrease the frequency of SI. So, bottom line, I would try to talk to your T if you can.
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Linda 
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#6
Feb 28, 2012, 09:50 PM
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Something "large" like an eating disorder, I would break down and tell some of? A single day, perhaps, an "idea" of what it is like?
When you think of an entire day, and the Sun, for example, you can describe the purple in the sky just before the sun rises, how you enjoy the coolness and the anticipation of the day and not mention the heat of the Noon sun and how you stared at it until it hurt your eyes?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
Feb 29, 2012, 02:19 AM
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Thanks for your posts - I didn't share with T for a few reasons, I know it is lame to say there wasn't the opportunity.
But T made some suggestions for a different approach to our work and I think this will come up in the next few weeks as part of that.
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Soup |
| Sannah
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