[bluemountains]

I am less than week away from my next t and pdoc appointments. Both are much needed. I decided I would change my meds a bit, so my Doogie Howser pdoc is going to be very upset with me She questions me about my choice to self-medicate every time I go. I think I made a good choice this time. I felt better today.
My t asked me to journal about csa. I haven't gotten very far on this, especially since one of the perpetrators is in the hospital and I have gone to visit him, twice. Talk about a f****d up world!
I asked for input here about how to journal in the least painful way a couple of weeks ago and this is what I have found, and the advice I have used-it helps to write in third-person. Also, I wrote a poem about one incident, which helped. Now I am realizing how much I don't remember-just parts of the different times. How do I get through this?
Be on alert, pocket riders, I'll probably ask you to join me next week as the time gets closer!
Bluemountains

[sconnie892]

I didn't see the post about journaling (kinda new here), but I agree about writing in third person. I do that all the time when things are too difficult to process. I make up characters and create their stories to explore my own thoughts. It's been helpful.

Early hugs for you appointment.

[Perna]

Why do you mess around with your meds and then tell your pdoc instead of discussing with your pdoc what you want to do and getting her on board? If you piss her off, she can decide you are not a team player and kick you off the team?

I'm glad you are finding ways to journal that help you. Maybe for the parts you don't remember you can do like with dreams where you write an alternate ending you like? Imagine what happened, what you think happened, what you would have liked to have happened?

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by Perna

Why do you mess around with your meds and then tell your pdoc instead of discussing with your pdoc what you want to do and getting her on board? If you piss her off, she can decide you are not a team player and kick you off the team?

I'm glad you are finding ways to journal that help you. Maybe for the parts you don't remember you can do like with dreams where you write an alternate ending you like? Imagine what happened, what you think happened, what you would have liked to have happened?

Thanks for the journaling suggestions Perna.
You asked why I mess around the with the meds-I believe it is the need for relief quicker than the pdoc is available for-next probable question, yes I could call, I still would not see her before my appt. on Monday. And yes, she could kick me off of my team, but I think while she helps me to get my bipolar under control, she won't. Self-medicating is one of the issues we are trying to get under control. So, why? I don't know, but I'm working on it. Btw, I only upped the wellbutrin, not a major change like earlier choices.
Bluemountains