[learning1]

I just thought of posting this because of the thread about being in the driver's seat. Most of my therapists in the past have been like that- wanting me to bring up the topics. Most of my 20's that was really hard to do. Probably partly why I never stayed with a therapist for long. Now I have a talkative therapist and I actually want him to be quiet and let me drive sometimes. I told him that pretty explicitly and he stopped talking for a bit last session (I feel a little bad that I didn't find a nicer way to say it but he said it was ok). I told him it was a relief not to have to worry that he was going to start talking. And I told him when I was done and wanted him to start talking again.

So, I wonder with other people,
-are you more introverted or extroverted or inbetween?
-is your t more talkative or less talkative than you?
-how does it affect your therapy?

[Nelliecat]

I think I'm more introverted in T than in real life and wonder if this is because I revert to childhood/teenage years where I was really painfully shy. Also, I don't want to say anything wrong or get therapy wrong so I keep fairly quiet. I don't fully trust T yet and I think when I do I'll be able to show the more confident me. It definately hinders my therapy, I don't feel brave or free enough to say the things I need to.

[shoez]

Im so introverted...SO introverted.

I sit there like a little kid and I wait for her to talk .....no way am i talking NOOO way..also shes old enuf to like, be my mom....and Im like 21...and i feel like I cant start the conversation

[healed84]

I am very much an extrovert when I am not in low places from the anxiety and depression. So, in general I am the same way in T. I try to be as procative as possible. I figure I am paying to have the 40-60mins a week to get the help not to sit quietly. Now, with that being said, I have periods of silences, and things that I just couldn't talk about with T. But in large part.. I usually drive the conversations. T is talkative, but he knows when to stop talking and listen. I really feel like we have a good balance.

[sconnie892]

I am extremely introverted. T is good at drawing me out with questions, but sometimes I still climb into the safety of my own mind when I get emotional about a question or topic. Last session I sat in silence for a very very long time.

Sometimes it's very difficult for me to tell if its my introversion or my resistance that's keeping me quiet.

[Bella01]

I am an introverted. T loves to talk and I hate when he stops and we just stare at each other. More like I stare at the floor or out the window.

[Chopin99]

I'm actually more extroverted in therapy...mostly to avoid talking about what I should be talking about! It's easy to get T to talk shop about the MH industry.

She's easily distracted...oh look, a squirrel!

[pbutton]

I am as introverted as they come. I am honestly not sure what T is. He is the kind of T that sits around and waits for me to talk. I wouldn't call him a talker, but he does get pretty chatty at the end of sessions. I think it's all part of his routine though. I suppose since he picked a job working with people that he's extroverted. Maybe that would be a good question for me to ask him.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I'm an extreme introvert. My T is also an introvert, which works really well for me. My T understands and is good with silence and giving me time to think about things rather than expecting me to constantly talk. Previous T's have all been more extroverted, and I never felt like I was allowed to just sit and think.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

She's easily distracted...oh look, a squirrel!

There's that pesky squirrel again!

I've had T's where they were ALLOTTED MAYBE 5 minutes at the end of session to talk - then I got medicated! this T gets to talk more than any, ever. it has progressed to this over the years, to where I actually need him to talk sometimes. never thought that would happen.

[Fresia]

I normally am an introvert but like Healed84, I am paying for their help rather than to just sit there so I need to speak to get it. As a result I tend to be more extroverted during therapy pushing myself to make the most of it. It is important for me now though to find a T who is also going to make the most of it to help me and them listening the entire time, offering no feedback, is not going to cut it. There tends to be a good balance now though with the interaction with this current T as it is not a one-sided conversation; this is one of the first T's who adeptly will call me out on things, such as the b.s. or when I avoid things, or will make suggestions for better coping strategies, and despite the fact she is an introvert; T is not passively listening which I appreciate. The more I participate, the better off therapy goes even if it means going against my introverted nature.

[learning1]

hmm, it is interesting to know about people's ages in this thread too. sounds like some people develop some of the opposite tendency to introversion or extroversion when they get older

[GoodPoint]

I am an introvert. T is definitely an extrovert. Sometimes T realizes she's been talking too much in a session, will stop herself, and seems kind of embarrassed by it. Normally I don't mind. I think her being so outgoing helps me feel like I can be too. I am also less introverted in therapy than anywhere else though... usually.

I am extroverted when I'm feeling stable, but introverted when I'm unwell. T's a talker either way.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I'm actually more extroverted in therapy...mostly to avoid talking about what I should be talking about! It's easy to get T to talk shop about the MH industry. She's easily distracted...oh look, a squirrel!

I knowthe feeling of talking to avoid talking. Every simple question she asks seems to get a mile long answer.
My T, on the other hand, is distracted by nothing.

[granite1]

i think it is well known that i am quiet in T as far as my T im not really sure.i think she would like me to be able to direct the session and bring up the subjects.sometimes she will start a conversation and push me to talk if it is something she sees as needing to be dealt with in a big way and other times she will just sit in silence with me the whole session if needed.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm normally extremely introverted IRL, but I talk more in T than I normally do. My T talks as much as I do so it's a really good balance.

[Chloe2]

Im an extrovert, and I typically do most of the talking in therapy. My T is more reserved than I am. He is quieter, but when he wants to butt in, he has no problem interrupting.

I don't think its whether one is introverted or extroverted in therapy, its the type of therapy you are in.

[Wren_]

i'm very much ... introverted, that doesn't mean i don't want to or need to talk though especially in therapy which is the one safe place. I have two very different t's and very different relationships with both. One is much more of a mostly wanting me to lead the conversation and at times it's totally frustrating. The other I've had to actually tell him to shutup at different points which I couldn't believe i'd done when I first did it, because he can talk non-stop and never leave me room to say anything. Once he talked without coming up for a breath and then asked if there was anything I wanted to say when there was a whole five minutes left I think with both it has more to do with their styles of therapy rather than if they themselves are introverted or extroverted.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by learning1

hmm, it is interesting to know about people's ages in this thread too. sounds like some people develop some of the opposite tendency to introversion or extroversion when they get older

Meaning young people are introvert or extrovert, while old people are mesovert?

[learning1]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Meaning young people are introvert or extrovert, while old people are mesovert?

ooh, a new word, mesovert. Is that a real word???

[learning1]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

I don't think its whether one is introverted or extroverted in therapy, its the type of therapy you are in.

Originally Posted by tigergirl

i'm very much ... introverted, that doesn't mean i don't want to or need to talk though especially in therapy which is the one safe place. I have two very different t's and very different relationships with both. One is much more of a mostly wanting me to lead the conversation and at times it's totally frustrating. The other I've had to actually tell him to shutup at different points which I couldn't believe i'd done when I first did it, because he can talk non-stop and never leave me room to say anything. Once he talked without coming up for a breath and then asked if there was anything I wanted to say when there was a whole five minutes left I think with both it has more to do with their styles of therapy rather than if they themselves are introverted or extroverted.

so how does the type of therapy affect it? I imagine psychoanalysis would work well for introverted t's
But does that mean a t who does some types of therapy has t have a certain personality (introverted or extroverted)?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by learning1

ooh, a new word, mesovert. Is that a real word???

It will be if enough of us use it!