T as life observer?

Today I was thinking I wish T could follow me around and observe everything I do during the day (okay, maybe not everything ). I wouldn't want T to interact with me, but just be a silent observer of how I spend my time, my interactions, my ups and downs to get a complete picture of who I am - not just the person I tell her I am in sessions. I suppose if I knew T was following me I might act differently.

Does anyone else wish their T could observe them like this?

Soo weird I was just thinking I wish T could do this the other day.

ALL THE TIME.

I was thinking about this all last week...that if T could just folllow me around without me knowing she is...she could see how much I struggle and really get a sense of everything ..
*sigh*

Yes, I have thought that before.

I don't think it would do much good. The way I act at work and the way I am in my head at work are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I'd need him to see what I'm THINKING all day long. That might actually do me some good.

I FEEL like he can see me throughout the day because he tends to rmember the most random details of my life..(where I grocery shop, what music I listen to in my car, etc)....it always makes me do a "whoa...maybe he can see me throughout the day". Nope...just a darn good listener.

I wish my T could follow me around for a week - at home, in training for the local women's shelter, at school. All the places where I function as an independent, competent adult. Maybe then he could see someone besides the needy, clinging child I seem to be bringing into session lately.

No, that would be horrifying for me. LOL. Noooo!

I think it would freak me out. I was a little panicked when I saw him at the gas station and I don't even know if he saw me.

Yes, I've even told T this.
There are 2 reasons. One is that I wish I had someone like her to guide me in the moment.
And the other is that I am so disconnected from myself, and when something is past, it's past, so attempting to bring it to therapy (and finding the words and feelings) seems impossible a lot.

The idea of him seeing what I actually think all day terrifies me!

I have this too...when something's done it's done to my conscious brain and I either can't or just simply forget to bring it up in therapy. Often though I've tucked it in some deep recess of my mind only to have it show up later.

Kind of why I want T to follow me around and observe all that stuff I tuck away.

I do. But I think that it wouldn't be a good thing for me because then I wouldn't need to talk to him - he'd already know about my life!! On the other hand, him knowing things without me having to talk much would lift a HUGE weight off of me. 50m once a week is not enough most times, and it would be a great time saver. LOL.

^^^ yes, this!

I imagine talking to him about the most inane, boring details of my life. Then I'm embarrassed when I realize I'm doing it. I guess I want someone to care about my tiniest thoughts and decisions. If I actually do run into anyone who I look up to, like t's, former t's, teachers, former teachers, I'm extremely self conscious, so it wouldn't really work.

I'm with you. I act "relatively" normal; fairly quiet and pretty productive at work, more outgoing and fun-loving with friends. She needs to be inside my head so she can see how my mind works because I don't think I'll ever be able to get her to understand that!

Yes!! I pretend T can see me all the time. Is that weird?

I can't say whether it's weird or not, as I'm pretty weird, but I do it too.

Yes sometimes I imagine that T is watching me (sort of through my eyes). I dunno why though.

I had my T and 2 other professionals come in and watch me at work for a hour to help make a new dx and it was horrible, felt so self conscious.

Yes - my T does follow me around all day and sometimes I am more aware of him being there than others and this affects the way I think and feel and behave (of course this is just in my head, but he is most definitely there).

I do this too...almost all the time.

Interesting thought, but no I have never even thought this. Strange just thinking about it now makes me feek irritated at the thought, restricted even. I like telling her about myself but having her follow me around a definite no, BUT I would like to be her shadow!

I have actually discussed this with my T.

He said you can pay people to do that kind of thing, but it's very expensive. I didn't ask how much he would charge though.

I think my T would be extremely bored if he watched me all day. I have an office job and sit at a desk and computer most of the time, and it's tedious enough for me as it is. Plus I'm so quiet that my coworkers wouldn't even know I was there unless I sneezed or something.

He might have a little bit more entertainment when I'm at home--not much though.