Regret

A couple of weeks ago, I took a risk and sent T an email asking if I could see him weekly until I was able to work through and process fully the recent ruptures. He wrote back and said, he would let staff know immediately. Last week at my session, we talked about it briefly. He asked if I would take a cancellation spot, I told him I would take anything.

This week has been a c***** week. It's not my T's fault, my week has been c***.

Today, I sent him an email and told him I had regrets. I regret asking for additional therapy time. I wrote, "I hate asking for things I think I need. It is just so much easier not to ask."

I know this comes from a place of disappointment. WTH is wrong with me today?

I also hate asking for things that I need. It makes me feel needy and like I'm doing something stupid. It is ok to ask for what you need.

And when I say that, I mean that it is genuinely ok for YOU do it. It's somehow not ok for ME to do it though.

It's so hard to ask for what we need. You're right, it is so much easier not to ask.

We are our only advocates. We are important. In trying to be self sufficient and independent we deny ourselves sometimes what we need. We have to realize we are special enough to ask!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by FourRedheads It's so hard to ask for what we need. You're right, it is so much easier not to ask.

But so much better for us, in the long run, when we do ask for what we need. We need to love and honor ourselves enough, and value our worth as human beings, to give voice to these needs, to be vulnerable and say what is in our hearts and our minds.

Here's to being brave and speaking up

not coming from a place of disappointment exactly; I see it as a self protection. If you don't ask, they can't tell you no. boy have I been there.

Both. I am really disappointed and it is a self-protection measure. I took a risk, shared my needs and feel unheard. Well, heard....but unheard. Ugh.

Yep. I totally get this. It's been hard getting used to asking for what I want/need then being afraid of the answer.

However, it is worth asking the question no matter the answer because I am worth it!

So are you, LIT!

Well, T responded very late this afternoon with quick note. It read,

"Sorry, nothing has come up yet. Hopefully soon. Have a good weekend!"

and I LOST it and wrote back....

"I know. I am sorry, too.

I don't ask for much, but when I do it's because it's really needed.

Nevermind."

Being on a forum like PC, and reading about the great lengths many T's will go for their clients and knowing I took a big risk and asked for this over two weeks ago and this entire week went by without a word makes me doubt he is the T for me. His message felt too much like carrot on a stick.

So, there it is.

I don't have a problem asking for what I need. My problem is that the answer is so often NO.

I do have a problem asking for what I need. In part, because of the same reason.

I think what really triggered me yesterday was his response came at almost 5pm on Friday afternoon. I had first emailed him a couple of weeks ago, and asked if I could return to weekly appointments until we worked through the latest rupture. . We talked about why I needed it at my session last week. ( I have been having a very difficult time since finding out I was (somewhat) deceived by my T. I fear I will walk away from therapy for good.)

I emailed him Thursday morning and shared my anxiety and regret at making the request.

I feel like you, Can't Explain. The answer is so often, NO.

Last week, T made a comment about trusting him. He asked me to trust him, MORE. Each time I try, I end up feeling bad about myself or....hurt.